CLEANING MY HOUSE AND OTHER RANDOM RAMBLINGS

So, we've been trying to get the house done for guests coming up here in about twelve days.  I don't know what the hell we've been working on, but there is only one room that I consider sufficiently clean and that is my bathroom. It looks so good, you could eat off the floors (okay, maybe not - ICK, but you all know I like using those cute little sayings that in all actuality make no flippin sense)

My kitchen is trashed, there is stuff everywhere like laundry and toys and an old Christmas tree. (yes, the laundry is being dumped in a tub in the kitchen instead of being folded. Don't ask, because I have no clue.  You could always call my laundry folders if you are super curious though) And unfortunately our floors, that we are re doing, aren't even done yet. The Christmas tree box needs to go somewhere, but we aren't sure where yet.  It started off as a thin, nicely packaged box and now looks like my muffin top. (Sorry I know, ICK but after five kids, there isn't much about the human body that I'm shy about anymore)

My living room is trashed too, but with such a small house, and no playroom I don't think I will ever really like how my living room looks. It is the room that is cleaned 4-5 times a day and still, when I wake up in the morning,  it is like nightmare walking out there. Sometimes I want to cry (well, I guess not really, but I do feel like screaming sometimes).  I think that will be the last room we do the deep cleaning in too, because it just won't last.

My bedroom is halfway done, which is a good thing, but our timeline was to have it done today.  NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! You see, my room is storage for the house. We have a closet the size of a postage stamp (okay, maybe 1/2 a postage stamp) so our stuff is stored in boxes and storage tubs in the bedroom. They must all be contained and stacked neatly. ( I sometimes wonder if anyone but me knows how to do that though. I am really trying to remember if I took a class like that in college - ORGANIZING A SMALL HOUSE 101?)

The kids rooms should be quick, most of it is just toys and clothes, but keeping them clean until after guests leave will be the hard part. Our next big thing is the kids' bathroom.  I trusted them to keep it clean by teaching them how (and having two older kids who are allowed to use strong cleaners) but I ventured in there one day and....Can I have my own house condemned?  Well anyway, let's just say they have their work cut out for them.  I know they can do it, lets just hope they do.  All I can say is I will now be doing weekly inspections no matter how hard it is for me to maneuver down their hallway (our dressers are in the hall so they have more play room in their rooms, but it makes for a relatively narrow walkway, and with my hips....) And I'm sure I will be in there, sitting in a high backed support chair, with a pumice stone in one hand and a magic eraser in the other for as much as I can handle.

My biggest problem is that I used to be the one to handle most of the big cleanings like this.  But now I just can't do it.  I can do bits and pieces and help out here and there, but I just can't get busy and bust this out in two days like I used to. (If anyone can cure my hips and my sinuses I would appreciate it and then I could have this place spotless in no time at all.)  This is one of those times I post about occasionally, where I feel very inadequate because of my limitations, but I'm not gonna dwell on that so I'm just going to say -

Until Next Time...I don't have anything profound to say today so I will just say that I have enjoyed having you all here for the last 6 months (our anniversary was on the fourth!) and I hope to see you all here for the next six months and longer. :D

 

FIVE AND A HALF MONTHS OF WONDERFUL!

So, this weekend we hit a huge milestone here at Adventures of a Broken Housewife (and Mom).  We hit 10,000 page views.  When I started this blog five and a half months ago, I thought I might see ten or so a day which would put us at about 1,650 page views. Here we are with 10,000+ and I couldn't be happier.

This blog has literally been a life saver for me. If I hadn't started this I don't think I would be much more than a shell sitting on the couch hurting my life away. (Well, I still sit on the couch hurting a lot, but I am much happier and not feeling as sorry for myself most days) This blog also got me off my butt and working on my novels again.  These novels are things I loved dearly and couldn't imagine not finishing, but somehow I kept avoiding it. Fear, kids, boredom, shyness all kept me from acting on my true desires. 

So Five and a half months ago I was a wreck, not knowing what I wanted to do with my life (besides being a mom), and now I am a self confident blogger and published author.  My life has changed for the better in so many ways.  I have met a bunch of great people, I have become confident, I am finally living the life I want (except for the money which still hasn't come in, and may never come in) without having to go out into the world and worry about not being able to do a good job in my career because of my physical limitations. I feel emotionally, and intellectually fulfilled for the first time in many years.  I always felt fulfilled with love and family because, well, I have a big family, but never in those other two areas. 

So what is next for me?  Well, I'm not sure if it will ever work, but I am determined to make a living at this blogging and authoring stuff!  Most of the places that provide ad revenue for blogs have requirements that I don't meet so I hope to eventually meet them. And as for my books.  I know people love them, I just have to get the reviews coming in to Amazon! Hopefully that will all fall into place with all of the social media hell I put myself through every single day! I also want to expand the blog and my writer's site to include author and  blogger interviews!  That will hopefully not only benefit me with page views, but the writers with publicity.  After all I studied public relations in college so it's about time I used it right?!?! And after that, I just hope to have fun doing what I love to do.  I have many more novels in my future and probably a few non-fiction titles too. 

Thank you all so much for all of your support.  I am so glad you enjoy what I do and I hope that you keep coming back to see what the future holds. If there is something you want to see here on the blog, do not hesitate to let me know MY EMAIL. Also if you are interested in being interviewed please let me know and we can arrange something.  I will be thinking up questions over the next week and then will start the interviews the week after.

Until Next Time...It might take awhile, but you will eventually find something you love to do, whether it is a career, a hobby or just something to take your mind off of things.  Work hard, have fun and live your dreams.

PRETTY COLORS AND SWIRLIES OH MY

I have a new addiction/obsession. I didn't plan on it, but it happened and it slowly taking over my free time.  You see I received a Kindle Fire as a gift and I thought I would be spending a lot of time on it catching up with my midnight reading or playing four pictures one word types of games and maybe watching the occasional movie with my free month of Amazon Prime.  Well you know, I've done a bit of that stuff, but how do I spend a majority of my free time these days???

Playing with the Kaleidoscopic drawing app.  I basically sat there for hours the other day when I was under the weather running my finger over the touch screen again and again and again.. (See and you folks didn't think I had an exciting life...haha!) How can it not be fun right?  Colors and swirlies and mirror images oh my!

It used to be when I would come home from going somewhere I would get on the computer to market this blog or my books and check all of my stats obsessively (Yeah, I talked about that last time I think).  Well, the last few days I head straight for my kindle and my kaleidoscope app. Who cares if I'm going to sell books right? Umm well I actually do care and I have kept up with the marketing, just maybe not as religiously as I should.  I am proud to say that I haven't been checking my stats obsessively :)  (Are you proud of me?).

So how did I realize that I was addicted/obsessed or whatever you call it?  When one of my kids asked if they could have a turn on my kindle (yes I downloaded stuff for them and in fact the kaleidoscope was supposed to be theirs). I grabbed the damn kindle and held it to my chest and cried..."No! Leave me alone, I'm drawing!"  Um yeah, I think it's time I revisit my priorities here.  I have vowed to let my kids use the kindle more (okay, once  day each if they behave) The rest of the time it is MINE!!!  I must see the colors and pretty swirlies, I must see the colors and pretty swirlies, I must see the colors and... Oh um, sorry about that.  I am hoping that some day I can put the kindle down and get back to life as I know it....Kids, Husband, Marketing, Writing and REPEAT. ( See, I told you that you didn't think I had an exciting life!)

Until next time... We all have our little obsessions/addictions but they usually go away with time.  So I guess I'm trying to say enjoy it while you can because eventually life will come back to you and intrude...and then it is onto the next one! ;) (And check out the kaleidescope app, it's hella fun! )

SPRING FEVER AND ME!!!

Spring fever doesn't just hit school kids. Guess how I know that?  Yep, it has hit me so hard  I can't even function.  Of course it doesn't help me that my hips are driving me up a wall lately and I think I am coming down with something. Sore, dry throat, earache, stuffy hurting head.  Blah!

I am so excited about the next installment of my Sunset Destiny Romance series but I can't seem to bring myself to work on it much.  I assumed it was because of my hips and not being able to sit comfortably anywhere in the house to type. But then I started thinking about it.  I think I have spring fever.  Even as a school kid I never got it this early.  But then again as a school kid, our spring break was never the first week of March. :/

We had a few days of sixty degree weather and I must say it was heaven! Yeah yeah I know, sixty isn't too warm for most people, but for us here in Centeral Wyoming, that's bikini weather! It was perfect.  We'd had spring break and temps in the 50's and 60's spring must be here so the brain kicks in with spring fever.  And then what happens? I woke up to three inches of snow this morning and more is expected throughout the next few days.  Winter is back! So maybe my spring fever will go back into hibernation?   Yeah, probably not.  Once I get it I am stuck with it. (at least it's not a forever thing right?)

So what does that mean for my novel?  I'm not sure yet.  Maybe when this bug goes away and I'm not achy and stuffy and tired and blah I will feel comfortable enough to sit at the table and type again and I will only have to worry about keeping my mind on track and my novel will complete itself (seemingly not really). Or maybe once I feel better I will still be unable to get my butt up off the couch to head to the table and work. And maybe I will be able to write, but still not be able to figure out how to best structure my complicated  sentences. (Which makes for even more complicated editing).

For some reason I don't see this bout of Spring fever getting any better. And the main reason why is that we are all looking forward to The Senior's graduation. [SCHOOL IS ALMOST OVER!!!] How in the heck can I concentrate when my daughter is going through one of the most stressful, exciting, wonderful times of her life!  And then I have to prepare for the relatives that will invade in May.  That will be much more exciting than concentrating on sentence structure and Grammar. (Although it won't be as exciting as concentrating on my story line. so hmmmm....)

As it is, I have started to let the kids slack on chores and they got so used to it that I had to get tough again. Hopefully my house will shape up but I somehow doubt it will, at least before guests start to arrive.  But that's okay, it's spring right?

I've met people who don't suffer from spring fever and I envy them.  I always have, I probably always will.  I crave watching my kids go outside to play or being able to sleep in, or do whatever they want during the day.  The teachers that pile on the homework start to piss me off this time of year and I know it's wrong to be mad, but come on people it's spring, the weather is changing (in most places at least) It's time to relax and have some fun! Okay, so I know the work still needs to be done, but I DON'T WANNA!!!! I have spring fever after all ;) And all I want to do is play with my new Kindle Fire (a very generous gift) and relax to recover from scraping windows all winter!

Until Next Time...If you get spring fever, enjoy it! But don't let it take over your life because eventually you will HAVE TO get back to work!!!!

LOVE RELATIONSHIPS

I talked to a few people online who have physical limitations about the struggles they go through in their love relationships and here is what we came up with to make a 'troubled' relationship stronger.

So, we all know the ups and downs of love relationships right? Trust, love, desire, honesty it is all about working hard to keep things going. When you factor a physical limitation into all of that, what do you get? Well, you get a lot more hard work!

The spouse who isn't physically limited is bound to, at some point, feel like they are carrying way to much of the burden. The physically limited spouse is bound to feel guilty for not being able to do an equal amount of the physical aspects of having a family and they might also feel unappreciated for doing the stuff that they are able to do. Caring for the emotional well being of a household can sometimes be just as tiring as doing all of the driving, or carrying of kids, or fixing of things around the house.

So what happens when you put a person who feels like they do everything together with a person who feels guilty, but overworked (and always in pain) at the same time? FIREWORKS!!! Things can get rough. But if your relationship is strong and you work hard, you can overcome a lot.  When you add in the whole intimacy issue, when one partner has limitations on what they can do physically, well you have to work even harder.

I think the key thing in a relationship like this is UNDERSTANDING.  They physically able partner must absolutely understand what their partner is going through.  If they ever doubt their partner's physical capabilities that is going to ruin things right there. Understand and accept that they can not help you drive across the state, pull up carpet, carry the baby to the car. And for goodness sake  do not compare the physically limited partner to others.  Just because friend A has bad knees/hips/feet/back/eyes too and can do some physical stuff doesn't mean your partner can.  They may have different problems or different symptoms.

As for the physically limited partner, they need to realize that their significant other might need a bit more emotional support when they take over the physical duties of the house. An extra (or 100) 'good job!' can go a long way.  An extra hour break from doing the physical stuff (play on game console, taking a walk, watching TV, reading....) can also do wonders.  Don't be so hard on them if they don't finish a task right away.

Most of all, if there is only one person in the house bringing in income because of the physical limitations, do not hold that against the non working person.  There are plenty of things they do in  life to earn their share of the money brought home.  Money is one of the top problem causers in a relationship as it is, so don't make it worse in an already challenged relationship.

What is a good way to keep things going good in a challenged relationship?  Time alone is great.  Take a weekly, or even monthly date ALONE together.  If you have no one to babysit kids (if you have any) then by all means just let the kids play (or sleep) while you sit/lay alone in your bedroom and talk.  Talking is great for a relationship.

As for my relationship, I wouldn't say it's been easy because it hasn't, but we've done something right because in June we will be celebrating nineteen years of marriage and in October we will have been together 21 years!

Until next time...no matter what the challenges of your relationship are, if you want it to work then make it work. Relationships aren't easy, they are all about hard work!

NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT...EXCEPT...

I have no clue what to write about so I just opened up a post and started typing.  It isn't that I am not inspired today, because I have had a wonderful day and am inspired by a lot.  I have received the electronic proof of my book and am waiting for the hard copy to get here.  I have found things I didn't like and have made the changes that are needed. If I like the cover and other physical aspects of the book I will be publishing sometime in the next week.  How exciting is that! And quite inspiring.

I MIGHT GIVE A HINT (IN PICTURES) ABOUT MY UPCOMING ROMANCE NOVEL AT THE END OF THIS POST

My kids are being, well, my kids.  They aren't doing anything out of the ordinary - good or bad.  They are just being themselves.  You know, The Senior and Freshman are fighting all the damn time as usual and I'm about ready to kick them both to the curb (okay not really, but it makes me feel better when I actually use the words.) Miss Crazy is suffering from Middle child syndrome, which she has been for awhile and we are doing what we can to ease it. (see child attached to my side whenever possible)  Mr. Insane is being, um, insane?  He is loud (extraordinarily so) He loves all things weapons, fighting and superheroes and for once I wish I didn't have to listen to him do weapon sound effects! (I want to banish him to his room until he is ready for college, but that just wouldn't be nice.) And Miss Little Butt is driving me up a wall with her attitude (Jeez older girls, I wonder where she got that from! Knock it off or I'll kick you to the curb! Dang it felt even better to say that a second time) And do you know what the worst part of her attitude is now?  It is the speech.  That girl can talk back now!!! The moment all parents dread.  I am spending most of my time these days being disciplinarian. (Okay, most of my time is spent working on the novel, but the rest of it is spent disciplining my kids so maybe, someday, they will grow up to be civilized adults)

What inspired me to write the paragraph about my brats wonderful darling children?  Well you see, Spring break starts at 3:45 tomorrow and I am going to have to be with them all day every day for a week (I won't mention that my wonderful husband will be on vacation and home the whole time too -- oops, I just did!) All I can say is that the weather better be nice enough for them to go outside sometimes or I'm gonna flip my Shiz. Really, try being locked in the house with six other people for a week because you can't afford to go anywhere to get away. We have our spring break so early here that we usually still have snow on the ground and freezing temperatures.  Who the hell ever thought of that?  NCSD has their heads so far up their hineys...but that is another story for another day.

Believe me, In the end I won't complain too much (more) because I will have help at home and I won't have to get my aching hips in and out of the car to chauffeur them to or from school. But seriously, if they fight all. the. damn. time. I am going to lock them myself in a dungeon and they  I will not be seen until they are old enough to move out and get married (was thinking college, but then they tend to come back too often)

Wish me luck folks!  This next week will be a true test of my endurance (and sanity)

Until next time...During spring break, winter break, summer break etc.  Remember you love your kids and hopefully you will survive, and if you don't, at least you will get a nice, happy, quiet place to be :p

Aspects, themes and ideas about the novel! :)

PHYSICALLY BROKEN - WHY?

I know it probably sounds like I am in a pretty bad self pity mood a lot lately, but I'm really not.  I am the happiest I have been in many many years.  The kids are doing really good (although we had a slight stress induced altercation between two of them the other day), My relationship is better than it has been in a long time and some of the spark is reignited. And my writing is going great. So what the hell is wrong with me now?  I am in some serious pain lately.  I think my hips are slowly but surely being helped by the exercises I have been doing, but that means I am hurting more with ever newly stretched muscle and popped joint, or could it be something else, something more sinister.

Emotionally I feel the most unbroken I've been in years, but physically I feel unbearably broken.  I am 42 years old and I feel as if my body is falling apart.  I start to feel great and my hips are able to move and the pain is at a minimum one day and then the next day I feel like I'm going to die. So what seems to be causing this problem.  Of course I truly believe the exercises help bring on the good days, but what brings on the bad....Two words...WAL MART.

I swear to you, every time I go to Wal Mart, the following day, I am in so much pain. You see, once upon a time, not too long ago, I worked there as a cashier. When I started working, I was healthy and happy.  About two months in, I started to suffer from intense foot pain. When I went to the doctor to find out what was going on (and maybe fix it so I could keep working) I was told that 90 percent of the foot pain patients they see work at the mart. Wow, my co workers weren't lying when they told me the floors would be the death of many feet, hips, backs and knees.

Come to find out I had plantar fascitis and although I probably would have developed it eventually anyway, it was brought on quicker by the floors I was standing on. I ended up only working there for two and a half months (and a month and a half of leave of absence) before I gave up the glamorous life to be a SAHM again. Within a month I started having my hip problems continuously instead of once or twice a year...and the rest is history. I know that if I have to go shopping, the pain will be worse for awhile, it's just how it is. (and please don't suggest I go to a different store because it really isn't possible.) I hope the exercises I am doing will eventually make me not fear shopping. Stronger hips will make better feeling hips.  And as for the foot, well that's just going to have to wait until I can afford 400 dollar custom inserts. :/

Now here comes the fun part.  I know I was destined to be broken , but I like to mess with people, so when they ask me how I became physically limited, instead of telling them that it is a birth defect (hips/back) or severe allergies (dizziness, sinus, migraine) or my lot in life (plantar fascitis) I just say Wal Mart. You should see the looks I get, especially from The Shooter's Co-workers as he still works for the corporation. I had all of these problems before I started working there, but only occasionally. After a couple of months standing on those floors I became a complete and utter mess. Coincidence? We may never know. It will be one of the greatest mysteries known to man. Um... I mean, who knows right? But I often have to wonder why I don't hurt nearly as much if I wander the mall, or Kmart, or Sam's Club...

Until next time...There are some things in this life that we may never know for sure.  Instead of continuing to dwell on it, we must accept it and move on. 

MORNING BIRD, MORNING BIRD GO TO SLEEP

We have a morning bird living in a house of night owls and it isn't easy on anyone! Miss Crazy is our one and only morning bird.  For her, it means she wakes up earlier than everyone in the house and really, that's quite rough on a kid.  She wants to play but is constantly being told to go play quietly while everyone else sleeps, and to NOT under any circumstances wake up her brother, who is her #1 playmate.

And that is where the problems begin.  That girl can think up 101 excuses to bother those who are sleeping and she does not care how much trouble she gets in when she does it. But then again, I see her plan - bother bother bother and they will be forced awake to deal with me and I get what I want - everyone else awake with me. Hmmm Yeah, maybe I need to re think how we deal with her on that one.

And I know you are thinking hey why don't you just keep her up later and she will sleep in with the rest of you.  Haha nope. Over the summer last year we kept her up til midnight on a regular basis to try to get her to sleep later. Guess what time she slept til each and every time? 8:00 am. Um, not late enough kiddo.  We even put a sheet over her curtain so absolutely no light would get in. Still no luck.  Our dreams of staying up late and waking up late kinda didn't come true at all.

For us night owls, of course the problem is not being able to get enough sleep because of one awesome, but sleep challenged little girl. I'm serious, the child really does not know how to sleep.  She is one of those people who tosses and turns all night and wakes up a million times and then wakes up early...every day.  The only time she has ever slept longer than usual is when she is sick, but then once she wakes up she doesn't sleep again until that night. No sick day naps for her!

There really is no solution to this problem.  She just isn't a sleeper yet.  The Senior was a lot like this too but now would sleep the day through if I let her. So I guess we can just hope that Miss Crazy follows in her footsteps...someday. But then again she might follow in her daddy's footsteps and still be a morning bird when she is in her twenties and I won't be able to sleep in until she goes to college. (BTW The Shooter can still be a morning bird when he needs to be for work, but he makes an awesome night owl when I need him to be :))

So until my beautiful morning bird becomes a night owl (or moves out), I will gladly deal with no sleep so I can stay up late where it is quiet and I can actually think straight.  After all, that is what naps are for right?

Until next time...Differences happen in families, so as a parent, just suck it up and live with it.  Oh, um was that a bit harsh?  Yeah, well I need to be harsh with myself so I remember not to be too rough on my sweet little morning bird. :)

PSYCHED UP!

So I said I was going to cut back to two blog posts a week - Monday and Friday.  Well while driving The Shooter to work today I came up with a blog idea.  So I guess I will just have to say that I may only get two a week done while I am working on my novels but then again I might get three.  I advertise heavily when I put a new one up, so stay tuned :)

I have been asked to do a few more blogs about how my limitations affect life or how I deal with them or just information about them. So here you go!

Tranquility

Some days when you are 'broken' you have to psych yourself out to make sure you get through the day. For me the main worry is worrying about how I am going to juggle getting Little Butt in and out of the car, down the slick steps and across the icy/snowy pavement a thousand times when I am hurting and can't bend very well. (Okay, not a thousand times, but quite a few. It just seems like a thousand when I'm hurting)

The pain is usually pretty bad when I first wake up so I can't psych myself up for anything (except going back to bed). And when the kids are running around, being crazy and trying to get ready to leave the house I can't psych myself up either because I am faced with the prospect of immediately having to get them out of the house and into the car in one piece.

Recently I found the perfect place to psych myself up for the day when I need it.  We have two vehicles but one is not working so I have to take the Shooter to work (no physical ability required) and pick him up (have to get the kids in the car by myself).

Some days he has to go in at five, six or seven a.m., in a town of 50,000 people the streets are pretty much deserted at that time of the morning.  The minute The Shooter leaves the car I start to give myself the ultimate pep talk. (and there are no kids to interrupt me and no horrible drivers to divert my attention and it is so quiet out there). I am able to  tell myself that I can do this no matter what.  That even if Little Butt gives me problems getting dressed I can do it.  And you know what? It has been working.  I find it much easier to get through the day when I have that quiet time to prepare myself .

Now here comes the problem...bet you thought there wouldn't be one this time right? Well you see, I don't want to drive The Shooter to work.  I hate getting up so early and I hate driving in the dark. This leaves me with the question of what I will do to psych myself up when the tax refund comes and we fix his car.  I guess I could wake up a half hour before the kids, give myself fifteen minutes to stretch out some of the pain, and do it then. (I'm known for ditching plans to wake up earlier than absolutely necessary though.) I could go outside the night before where it is quiet and walk around for half an hour in the dark to psych myself out (although in the winter it is cold and in the summer it stays light way too late). Truthfully, I'm not sure what I will do once I don't have to drive the husband to work anymore, but you know, maybe that is half the problem. It really stresses me out to have to add that to my day.  And taking him to work might not include getting anyone in and out of the car by myself, but picking him up does. Maybe when I don't have to do that anymore I won't need so much preparation to get ready for my day because I won't have that extra pressure on my time and physical abilities. Who knows though. I guess we will see what happens when the time comes.  NOTE to my wonderful husband: Just because I hate having to drive you to and from work doesn't mean I don't love you <3

Until next time...Enjoy the quiet times, don't take them for granted. You can accomplish a lot in just a short time of contemplation.

JUDGING MY BRATS

Okay people, I am in shock right now! We went out to dinner and shopping - all 7 of us, which rarely ever happens. EVERYONE BEHAVED. I REPEAT EVERYONE BEHAVED. Every last child - how in the hell did that happen? I, I, I'm just about speechless! You see, my kids are well behaved - for other people.  When they are around The Shooter and I, they are pure evil most of the time. E.V.I.L. You know, the kids at the store that make you cringe, that's my brood!

So the outings usually go something like this:

1. The Freshman doesn't want to leave the house but we make her. An autistic meltdown follows as does pouting, snapping at others and slamming of dishes. 
2. The Senior takes charge of the kids and gets a bit too mean sometimes because she knows that their misbehavior gives me anxiety. She's just trying to help but sometimes goes overboard.  That girl literally came out of the womb acting like a mom! I remember she used to like to say 'no mama, bad' when I would do something she didn't like ;)
3. Miss Crazy is, well, crazy. She likes to run around and be loud and has a hard time sitting still at the table and she always gets her brother involved.  He copies everything she does and she loves that idea! Can you say INSTIGATOR?
4. Mr. Insane is going through a phase where he is testing how much he can get away with and so he changes his mind a lot (I want ramen for lunch, no a sandwich, no ramen, no a sandwich - it's enough to drive you nuts). And he will only get help (cutting food, getting food from a buffet etc) from a certain person of his choosing and no one else will do. He does  this all very loudly and lets you know emphatically when he is unhappy.
5. Little butt is in the stage where she absolutely refuses to sit in a high chair or a booster which means we are in the process of training her not to get up and stray from the table which is hard to do with Miss Crazy and Mr. Insane egging her on. And you know, it's kind of annoying when she takes turns sitting on everyone's lap. Just ask The Senior, she'll tell ya!

Usually by the end of the meal I am extremely frustrated and I feel like everyone is staring at us. (They may or may not be, but still, it is embarrassing and I just want to crawl into a hole.)

So, what happened to my kids today? I don't really believe in aliens taking over people's bodies, but I think that may have changed tonight! The Freshman complained a bit at first and then participated in dinner without even a whine and when we decided to stop at the store she didn't complain and that usually would have ended up with a screaming fit and her threatening to stay in the car. Not today! She came into the store and even went off by herself to do some 'window shopping'. The senior didn't go overboard. She helped out with getting the little ones food, but left most of the parenting to me and the Shooter! Miss Crazy just sat there the whole time eating.  Lately she has been eating her weight times ten in food. Either she is growing up or she is just too busy eating to act up. Mr. Insane had his moments where he thought about being picky or wanting only a certain person to help him, but recovered quickly and never got very loud considering what he is capable of. And Little Butt sat in her chair playing quietly and eating. Not one time did her little butt (haha) get up and try to wander around. 


And then we went to the store and everyone behaved again. There was no running down the aisles, fits in the middle of the aisles or tantrums of any kind. And for once, I walked out of Pizza Hut and Wal Mart feeling like we were the invisible family that no one even knew was there.  I like that feeling, I really really do :D


Until next time...When you see that kid throwing a fit in the store or restaurant, please don't judge out loud. They might be overwhelmed, tired, getting sick, or just having a really bad day. Yes there is always a chance that the kid is just a plain ol brat, but it isn't your problem or your duty to judge them or their parents vocally. And if you see a parent (or two) struggling with a whole brood of little ones, give them an encouraging smile or a thumbs up because believe me, trying to corral a group like that is not easy, even for an experienced mother. Everyone has off days and everyone has the right to misbehave occasionally.  Be accepting and kind, it will benefit everyone in the end.

GET TO KNOW ME - 13 PICTURES

 Well, I have run out of pictures of Alaska to share so I thought I would just post some pictures to help you get to know me better.  Some of my family and some of the likes that make me who I am :)  Enjoy!

Me and my Little Butt (the baby, my butt IS NOT that little)

The gang! The Senior holding Little Butt, Mr Insane, The Freshman, and Miss Crazy - I love them!!!!

My favorite book of all time. Read before it got popular :)

I love reading all different kinds of books but if I just want to relax and read a fun book Janet Evanovich and Setphanie Plum are where I head first!

I am definitely a child of the 80's. My favorite music is from that decade and my fondest memories are too :)

I don't have  current favorite movie, but this is one that I loved for many years. I think Julia Roberts was my biggest girl crush!

I love love love to read.  I read all kinds - serious, funny, fiction, non fiction, contemporary, classics.

My favorite color - if you hadn't guessed already by the amount of it I like on my Blog backgrounds. :)

My favorite food - Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream and probably the reason my butt is so big (we won't blame it on the hormonal imbalance this time. haha)

My favorite drink - Iced tea with Lemon. I don't do alcohol so this has to be my drug.

My favorite animal.  I love me some Otters :D

My favorite TV show although I haven't watched it in quite awhile because of the kids. I have a huge nerd crush on Matthew Gray Gubler (Spencer Reid)

And of course, my passion, my hobby, my life - writing (and my kids too but hey, I talk about them ALL THE TIME ;))

Until next time...Stay warm, I'm sure we aren't the only ones about to have a cold snap!

I LOVE HER...NO MATTER WHAT

Today was rough. You know, one of those days where you feel as if you are truly broken and will never be fixed again. It was one of those days where you actually want to go back in time and change everything. Or at least it makes you wish you had a pack of cigarettes and a couple of shots of whiskey. And I don't drink or smoke!!! But you know I was tempted to give it a shot (pun intended).

 It all started with a girl problem that I won't get into on here, but it basically makes me feel like death and it really makes functioning even harder than it normally is. Then add on top of that a little girl who wakes up and does NOT want to get dressed, so by the time I struggle her into the clothes we are already about 15 minutes later than usual. And then she refuses to step foot out the door unless I am carrying her - down the stairs covered in snow. For those of you who read my introductory blog post, you know I have physical problems that keep me from lifting my baby doll too often let alone carrying her through ice and snow. So we drop Miss Crazy off to school and get home.  My hips feel like they have been through the ringer and since I don't have cigarettes or whiskey in the house and it is only 8:30 am, I get on the computer and work on all of my social media stuff. I actually come thisclose to quitting Facebook entirely. (But I couldn't do that to my fans).

Fast Forward a bit to after lunch. I am so relieved that things have been going smoothly and I start to relax. Big Huge Humongous Gargantuan mistake on my part. Little Butt decides she wants to follow me to the bathroom. Not a problem, I don't know what I would do if I didn't have a kid in there watching me pee :/ However, miss decides she gets to try first.  I put her on and she doesn't go. Yay, it is my turn and I have really got to go. She puts all of her weight on the toilet seat and won't let me lift it.  I have to physically pick her up and move her just so I can go to the bathroom. That starts the whole scream/tantrum cycle. Everything being done, I try to leave the bathroom. Yeah, not so easy when you have a screaming, tantruming almost 2 year old blocking the door and your hip is screaming in pain. So, I finally pull a Houdini and get out of the bathroom and I lie on my bed to stretch that hip.  She cries the whole time and when I get up to go back into the bathroom (part of the girl problem I mentioned earlier) she is right there at the toilet not letting me raise the seat, so we do everything I described above all over again.

By now it is time to pick The Shooter up from work and since Little Butt is a nudist that means getting a diaper, pants and shoes on her.  I am determined to make her walk out this time so I don't have to carry her.  I don't know if I even have the ability to carry her anymore at this point.  She will not let me dress her.  She runs from me, I can't chase her. I lure her over and she struggles so hard I hear my hip pop. Finally I just have to get going and I am hurting so much that I pick her and her pants and shoes up and carry her out to the car in just a diaper and long sleeved shirt. It is 22 degrees.  She was not even phased. I get her hooked into the car (barely as I almost pass out) and put a blanket over her little legs and turn the heater on high. I climb in the car praying that I can actually lift my right leg to drive.  Yay!!!! I'm not totally out yet you damn stupid hip. I CAN STILL DRIVE - barely.

So what is the point of this post you ask? Other than to entertain you, because come on it is funny seeing a 2 year old get the best of a 42 year old three times in one day right.  Hey I laughed so you can too.  No, my point to this post is about the amazing healing power of the heart. I told a 'friend' from a social network site about the happenings and she was so angry and told me that she would have been mad at the child for weeks and that she probably would have been cussing the child out to everyone who would listen for a long time (she doesn't cuss out the child though thank God) I just don't understand.

• Was I angry with her - yes. 
• Did I show that to her - no. 
• Was I frustrated? - yes with her and with me and my 'broken' parts. 
• Did I complain to my friends - yes of course, but I did it in a kind of way that was like 'OMG guess what kind of day I had!' not 'Stupid tantruming kid'
• Do I blame Little Butt for the renewed bad state of my hips? No absolutely not, I am a mom and it is my job to have to pick her up sometimes so if I get hurt again then so be it. 

So, you might ask what was going through my mind during this whole episode. Well truthfully I was thinking things like:

• Is the baby okay, why is she acting like this, is it because her sisters went back to school today, is it because she is still mad at me for weaning her, is she hurting from her 2 year molars?
• What am I going to do if my back totally goes out. I still have a husband and kids to pick up and what if the two little ones here at home need me, will I be able to be there for them?
• God, I love this crying, screaming little baby so much. Please help us through this rough day and let us come out on the other side, alive and well.

Now normally after crying and meltdowns like that she likes to snuggle, but that hasn't been the norm as of late (ever since weaning). All I wanted to do was hold her and love on her.  She wouldn't let me of course. When we went to pick up The Shooter, she fell asleep in the car and he carried her into the house for me and laid her next to me on our bed.  I took that opportunity to snuggle, love and kiss on her before falling asleep holding her hand.  My heart that was broken from having to listen to her scream and cry so much was instantly healed.


Until next time...In the times of anger and hardship while parenting, please remember the love. It WILL pull you through.

EH I DON'T NEED SLEEP...OR DO I????

New Years morning I realized how important sleep truly is. Yes I have been sleep deprived before, after all I was a wild college kid (okay, semi wild - happy now?) and I am the mother of 5 horrible sleepers.

So, how did I come to this earth shattering conclusion  (Hey, it's earth shattering to me so :p). Well you see, it began about 2 1/2 years ago. On June 10th, 2010 I saw a plus sign on a little plastic device and within a week I was extremely sick and every night for the next 2 1/2 years, I didn't sleep for more than 2 hours at a stretch and my awake times would be upwards of 1 1/2 hours.

First I had a warped version of pregnancy induced insomnia and then I had a newborn and then I had an infant/toddler who nursed 2-4 times during the night, e.v.e.r.y. n.i.g.h.t. When I finally weaned her I still found myself waking up several times a night. Your guess is as good as mine as to why I still managed to watch the clock strike 1:15, 2:30, and 4:30 just about every night.

I truly thought I was going to lose my mind from exhaustion (although at the time I didn't realize that is what I was suffering from). The kids were getting on my nerves so easily.  It even got so bad that sometimes I would just let them go at it because I needed to step back and take a breather.  Every little thing that happened annoyed me. The school would pull one of their stupid stunts and I felt like I would explode. Wal Mart got my online order wrong or even lost one of them and I just about had what I affectionately call a 'shit fit.' I mean damn, I even put my almost 2 year old (and my 'Scary Six' year old Miss Crazy) to shame.

Believe it or not, the thing that should have tipped me off the most to how exhausted I really was, was my new found intolerance of the cold. I absolutely love the cold.  I mean if I am going to go outside for less than a half hour I don't wear a jacket unless it is below 20 degrees.  The cold revives and rejuvenates me like nothing else does. But lately, I was cold all the time. It was 40 degrees outside and I was shivering and my teeth were chattering.  I just kept wondering why I was worn down enough to actually feel cold.  I had no clue. And then I started to get achy but I knew I didn't have the flu and the only other time I get achy is when I am over tired.  Why this symptom didn't hit me sooner I have no clue. (Is it stupid that I still didn't totally realize that exhaustion was my problem?  Yeah, don't answer that please)

Slowly since I weaned Little Butt, I have been able to nap more with the kids home on break they would all be together so I could slip away. And then came the best night of my life (okay, maybe not the best, but pretty damn good) New Years Eve I stayed up until just about 1 am and then I fell asleep and I did not move again until almost 6 am.  Yes!  I slept for about 5 straight hours without even one wake up.   [Insert earth shattering conclusion here] You do not even know how good that felt, and I finally realized for sure that exhaustion is what was making me bitchy.  I don't think it was the amount of sleep I was getting that tired me out, but the quality of the sleep.  I mean after all, I had been through a 3 year period when my son was little where I didn't sleep for more than 4 hours a night but I slept for four solid hours and yes I got tired, but I didn't feel as awful as I did this time. I truly wonder how much longer I would have lasted at this level.  I felt on the verge of a major....meltdown? sickness? breakdown?  I'm not sure which it would have been, but something major was coming and I was dreading it.

Now, I'm not quite so worried. I am slightly rejuvenated and I think I have found a few things that will help me sleep better.  Yes, I know there will be days when I am back in my old pattern like when the hip pain is bothering me but that is okay, I am a mom and I expect to be sleep deprived, just not exhausted to the brink of illness. Remember just because we chose to be moms does NOT mean that we are going to take being tired into stride and love every minute of it.  We can love being mothers and still hate being exhausted and complain about it to everyone who will listen.  So next time a tired mom complains to you please just listen and understand it is as real and as important as it would be to someone without kids.

Until next time...Sleep well. :D

TO BE YOUR MOTHER...

About the time my kiddos turn two I write them a poem of sorts. Well, Little Butt will be two in just over a month so I decided to write hers tonight.  When I couldn't decide which topic to write about for this blog, I decided to share these poems with you.  I hope you love them as much as I do.


To my Gennie the Pooh Bear - My first born                                  From the moment I first saw you
I knew that being a mother would change me for the better.  

To be allowed to have you with me and healthy is a dream come true.
To hold you in my arms is the scariest yet most profound thing I’ve ever done.
To kiss your round cheeks brings tears to my eyes.
To wonder if what I’m doing is right keeps me awake at night.
To hold you when you are sick reminds me how much you truly need me still.
To give you the ability to be the leader of the pack made our bond even stronger.

But most of all…
To be your mother makes me the luckiest person in the world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To my Bubba - My second born
From the moment I first saw you
I knew being your mother would be 

the adventure of a lifetime.

To add you to our family was the best surprise I ever had.
To hold you as you screamed, not knowing how to calm you was the most defining moment of my life.
To kiss your little chubby chin brings tears to my eyes.
To wonder if I would ever be able to make you happy keeps me awake at night.
To hold you when you are sick reminds me how much you truly need me still.
To help you fight this monster (called Autism) has made our bond even stronger.

But Most of all…
To be your mother makes me the luckiest person in the world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To my Pookie- My third born
From the moment I first saw you
I knew the extra love I’d been 

missing all those years.

To have you in my life made me realize motherhood get’s better with age.
To hold you in my arms when you weren’t supposed to be here yet was so unreal.
To kiss your little button nose brings tears to my eyes.
To marvel that you are truly okay despite how sick we were keeps me awake at night.
To hold you when you are sick reminds me how much you truly need me still.
To be my first child as an older mother has made our bond even stronger.

But most of all…
To be your mother makes me the luckiest person in the world

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To my Mini-Man: - My fourth born 

and my one and only boy,
From the moment I first saw you
I knew my one and only wish 

had finally come true.

To be allowed to love you was a one in a million chance for me.
To hold you in my arms feels like nothing I’ve ever known.
To kiss your sweet forehead brings tears to my eyes.
To worry over you because you are one of a kind keeps me awake at night.
To hold you when you are sick reminds me how much you truly need me still.
To nurse you beyond your first year made our bond even stronger.

But most of all…
To be your mother makes me the luckiest person in the world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To my Dee Dee - My final baby

From the moment I first saw you

I knew that despite all of the 

hardships, I could  never 

regret having you

To have one last child to love and raise was a surprise I could never have guessed

To hold you while we co-sleep is the sweetest feeling I’ve ever known

To kiss your chubby tummy to hear you laugh brings tears to my eyes

To hold you when you are sick reminds me how much you truly need me still

To have you be my last child means more to me than you will ever know

But most of all…

To be your mother makes me the luckiest person in the world

LESSONS I'VE LEARNED - Being an Older Mom

When I first became pregnant with Miss Crazy, I was 35 years old and scared out of my mind. I would be considered high risk and I hadn't been a new mom in eight years!  First I hoped that I would survive the birth, and second I hoped I could love a new child at 35 the same way I had at 25.

The worse my health got through the pregnancy, the more afraid I became - not just about my health, but my ability to love this child. If something happened to me would I resent her? If something happened to her would my rare occasions of wishing I wasn't pregnant make my heart ache with the darkness of guilt?

Fortunately, we both made it through and we were both alive and well. Unfortunately, the obstacles to our bonding just kept coming. My recovery from the C-section was long and extremely painful, trying to nurse her was a nightmare and my hips/back hadn't tolerated the birth well at all. When she was 4 months old, my hips went completely out. I couldn't move from my bed and even ended up in the ER with severe upper back spasms. My oldest had to help me take care of her (The Shooter worked odd and varying hours). When Miss Crazy woke up for a middle of the night feeding, The Senior was sleeping in her room and fed her for me. When she needed held or nursed she was brought to me in bed. It suddenly felt as if my whole world was crashing in on me. I couldn't move, my baby wouldn't nurse unless I practically forced her to, and she seemed to love my 11 year old more than she loved me.

Once I healed and was able to take over mothering duties, I sat late one night in Miss Crazy's room feeding her a 2 a.m bottle. I felt useless and removed from everything. Then it happened. I looked down at this baby that I felt no bond with and her eyes popped open and at that very fragile moment, I knew that being an older mom was what I was meant to do. I cried, holding her for an hour. Our bond formed strong and hard that dark early morning.

For the first four months of her life, I often wondered how my mistake of becoming a mom over 35 would affect the child (notice I said 'the' child and not 'my' child). Plain and simple, I figured I was too old and set in my ways to love a new baby. But that cold January night, my thoughts and beliefs changed in an instant.  I realized that if I had gone though the same difficulties with my older kids (when I was 25 and 28), I would probably have gone over the edge. I would literally have lost my mind. Being an older mother had brought patience I hadn't had with The Senior and The Freshman. In turn, it further developed my ability to love, forgive and manage. And best of all it gave me the ability to be a better mother to all of my kids. I'm not saying that I was a horrible mother to the first two, I just wasn't functioning to the best of my ability.

The addition of Mr. Insane and Little Butt were joyous occasions with no doubts about my parenting. I was more confident in all of my abilities. My harried over reactions to a sick child became calm decision making in a crisis or not so much of a crisis. And my ability to enjoy my kids was heightened. I no longer worried so much about how I was raising them, but about how much we were enjoying each other.

Should everyone wait and become an older mom?  No, absolutely not. I wouldn't trade my time as a younger mom for the world. But if you do become an older mom, don't fear it. Enjoy it and use the wisdom you have gained through the years to not sweat the small stuff. And by all means if you show even minor signs of Postpartum Depression do not be afraid to ask for help!!!

Until next time...Have a wonderful and blessed Christmas <3

SHARING MY HOLIDAY TRADTIONS

I absolutely love hearing about other people's holiday traditions so I thought I would share our family's with you. From October 31-December 25th our lives are filled with the joy of the holiday season. Now that we have our little family finalized (Little Butt IS our LAST child!!!) it is time to start reveling in the traditions we have built for our family.

I am sure our Halloween traditions will hinge on where we live. When The Senior and The Freshman were little we lived in Nevada where the weather was nice late into October. We didn't have much of a neighborhood so we went to the Shooter's parents house where my MIL and I would take the kids around their neighborhood.

Once we moved to Evanston and added two new kids to the mix, we didn't have family to team up with, so one adult stayed home to give out candy and one took the kids out around our quaint little neighborhood. But you know, it was mighty cold for the littlest ones so when we moved to Casper and hardly anyone was home in our neighborhood, we decided to try the trick or treating at Wal Mart and the mall. All of a sudden we had our newest tradition. So now every year we head to the retail section of town and go Trick or Treating.

It seems that just as soon as the excitement of Halloween calms down it is time to prepare for Thanksgiving. Our celebration is usually pretty low key but still fun.  We spend all day hanging out and preparing dinner. When dinner time rolls around we sit down as a family and, luck being on our side, we have a great family meal. (We can be flexible too though because this year dictated we go out for dinner and it was fun but very expensive!)  After dinner, The Senior and I partake in early Black Friday Shenanigans, but only if by doing so we help the family financial situation by finding stuff we really need on super sale.  When money is tight you do everything you can to save money and make Christmas great for the little ones. Otherwise we wait until Friday to brave the mess.

The day after Thanksgiving is not only spent shopping, but decorating for Christmas too.  We spread it out throughout the whole day, singing Christmas songs and making sure everything looks perfect.  We end the day with a repeat of our Thanksgiving meal And...before we know it, it's Christmas!

I think our Christmas traditions are probably my favorite and Christmas Eve is the best day. We spend it together, cooking and watching Christmas shows while we fix our big Christmas Dinner of turkey, stuffing, potatoes, cranberry sauce, sauerkraut, peas and pies. This  one was quite foreign to me and I wasn't sure if I liked it at first . . .but then I had kids and now I love it. It became very hard with my physical limitations, to manage all of the excitement of Christmas day festivities when it involved cooking all day too. I discovered it was nice to just play with the kids and their new toys.

After Christmas Eve dinner we open up one present each (sometimes more. if between relatives and Santa, we have too many) No matter how many we open early, one of them always has to be the one from Uncle G.  It just wouldn't be Christmas Eve without our Uncle G. presents being opened :)

We actually let the kids stay up a bit late in hopes that they won't wake up so early, haha. It doesn't work usually, but they enjoy watching Santa on NORAD while they wait for bed time so it is worth it anyway. Santa's gifts then get put together and put out before it is bedtime for the adults and bigger kids.

You see, for our family, Santa doesn't wrap the gifts he gives (and Mom and dad don't get gifts from him so the kids can get more) He just puts them near the tree. But he does wrap the stocking stuffers to spice things up a bit.

As soon as the kids wake up, usually between 7:30 and 8:30, our day begins and the kids get some time to enjoy the unwrapped 'Santa' gifts. Once things settle down again it is time to open the stocking gifts. Of course the kids tear through this in no time even though they have to patiently take turns. Breakfast is next on the agenda - always something out of the ordinary. Might be a decadent cinnamon roll or a full breakfast. It all depends on what the breakfast chef (The Shooter) decides he wants to do.

While the kids are still somehow sedated by the big, filling breakfast, we tackle the presents under the tree. We each take turns and if someone wants to stop to play with a new toy or add songs to their new MP3 then that is what we do and then resume opening gifts when everyone is ready (little ones are always ready) It doesn't really matter how long it takes though because we just hang out and play all day. Some of us even get the chance to nap before we have an 'instant repeat'  of the previous night's dinner.

There is one tradition that we used to have that we miss very much. Driving around town to look at Christmas lights was so easy in Nevada, we didn't have to worry about the weather or work schedules interfering. In Wyoming we have had one or the other putting a dent in our plans.  I wanted to go on Christmas Eve this year since The Shooter is off work, but low and behold, the weather is supposed to be crap. So I guess we will see what happens.

Until next time...If you send me some of your traditions I will compile them in a blog post to share. (No names necessary) Any holiday from any culture or religion will be wonderful.  Just email me at brokenwifeandmom@gmail.com

THE COMPLICATED MIND OF A 6 YEAR OLD

You hear much talk about the 'terrible' twos/threes or the 'freaky' fours and yes they all have some major bad points, but to me the 'scary' sixes are the absolute worst year. It is a major threshold between little kid and big kid.  One minute he/she might be screaming and throwing a fit to rival any two year old and the next  they are sneaking make up and their sister's clothes to try to look older. Every six year old I've had (3 now at this point) has been moodier than a teenager on her period (or me when I'm pregnant, haha).

My crazy 6 year old

Truthfully my six year old, Miss Crazy, is about to give me a serious case of the roller coaster pukes.  A typical day for us involves a mean cycle of snuggles, screaming, pouting, anger, defiance and extreme joy.  I love waking up in the morning to hugs and I love you's because they are the best.  But it quickly turns into defiance as she decides she doesn't want to listen to me and either go play quietly so others can sleep or go get her clothes to get ready for school. There have literally been times when she has come into my room or her older sister's room and bothered us repeatedly just to see how much she can get under our skin. Can I have this, can I have that, can I have the other thing, can I do this.  It's enough to drive you nuts.  

Then, especially if her brother is awake too, the defiance is quickly followed by loud extreme joy at play. I'm talking running, screeching, smiling, and laughing so much that you wonder how she doesn't pass out from lack of oxygen (and you secretly wish you had ten percent of her energy)

Next comes the anger when she and her siblings get into it over something stupid. You know when she 'accidentally' steps on her brother's foot and he gets mad and a screaming fight ensues.

This phenomena is quickly followed by a screaming tantrum when either she gets in trouble for starting a fight or she doesn't get what she wants.  I tell you, that girl can really give my almost two year old a run for her money in the tantrum department, and she has that typical six year old girl high screechy voice that makes your ear drums bleed. 

When she doesn't win and have us bowing to her every whim, she quickly moves onto pouting.  And boy does she have the cutest damn pout face that is very hard to resist.  She has literally pouted for 2 hours before.  She's got it down! Then of course, the cycle starts all over again with the snuggles, which have I mentioned, are the best ever!

If you look closely, these aspects pretty much describe a two year old too.  So why why in the hell does it bother me so much more in a six year old than in a two year old? Well, I have come to a few conclusions. First of all, a two year old doesn't really know any better and a six year old is starting to learn better behaviors because they have started school.  (And believe me, you hope and pray that they act better at school than they do at home!) Second, a six year old can talk much better than a two year old can. And for me, the words 'no' or 'shut up' are much worse than just crying.  Oh, and the six year old can add crying on top of the words and it is just horrid to listen to. Third, the glare of a two year old is actually cute and sometimes very amusing (yes, I laugh at my child when she glares at me)  but the glare of a six year old can be serious business.  It can actually kind of  make you sad that your child could be that mad at you. (But don't give in of course!)

By the time the child turns seven things rapidly get better over the next few years.  Even pre-teens and teens are much better to me, but that is another story. I believe I am of the minority out there who love the 'terrible' twos/threes and even the 'freaky' fours compared to the 'scary' sixes.  If I could skip that year and come out at 'settling in' seven I would gladly do it.  Of course I am right in the middle of all of this right now and I do often wonder if some of Miss Crazy's  quirks are caused by the fact that she is the middle child which means she is the much younger sibling to two and the older sibling to two.  It is a wonder she isn't really crazy yet! But then what explains my older two girls going through the. same. damn. thing. at that age.  My kids are either screwy or it is a natural part of growing up.  Either way, I'll take my six year old any day.  She was my fist kid as an older mom and is sweet, happy, and crazy wonderful...when she wants to be.  I just keep reminding myself that she won't be six forever.

Until next time...I once had a respected educator tell me that a child who misbehaves at home and behaves at school has parents that are doing everything right.  If that is the case, I'm the best mom ever!!! ;)

BOARD GAMES BANNED! Why I banned them.

So I bought my 6 year old a board game for Christmas. I vowed never to bring another one of those things into my house again because every time I bought one (since having kids) the pieces have been lost, or the board broken, or the box destroyed, and some times all three. (Any game or toy with small pieces really) But I just can't fathom a child not experiencing Candy Land, Chuttes and Ladders, Sorry, or Clue at least once. Candy Land is sitting in my closet waiting for Santa to put it under the tree on Christmas eve night. . .and I am waiting for the game to be completely destroyed by New Years.

The Shooter's parents still have board games and toys from when he was a child and when I was young, I would have my games for many years. So that means either my parenting sucks or my kids can't physically put games away for some unknown, probably unscientific reason. Let's explore this a bit further. The shooter and I were taught that when we played a board game we put it away immediately. Plain and simple, if we didn't we were in big trouble. We did what we were taught to do every time.

I thought I had been teaching the same to my kids, but somehow, it didn't turn out the same.  The kids would ask if they could play a game and we would get it out for them with strict words to put it up properly before moving onto their next adventure. While I was busy doing my own thing (cleaning, going potty, writing etc) they would move onto a new activity and when I would check on them, the game would still be scattered all over the table or floor. They would be made to pick it up and punishment would ensue and then. . .just hit repeat about a dozen times.  I tried everything, including holding my need to potty until they were done playing so that I could supervise clean up, and even not letting them have the games unless an adult was playing.  But first of all, with every kid it gets harder and harder to trick the bladder, and second, what kind of fun is it to have to play with your parents when you don't want to.  Actually what kind of fun is that for parent or child. (My children were kinda quirky and didn't like adults during play.)  I also tried grounding and probably just about a dozen other things to no avail. Eventually I would either find the creative little devils using (and losing) the game/toy pieces in ways in which they weren't intended or I would find them sliding through the kitchen using the game board and box as skate boards. Eventually I gave up on having games in our house even though I knew I would really miss the family game nights - the rare occasions when the games were treated properly. Besides, there was no way we could afford to keep buying new games every few months!

I guess I could have watched the kids closer, but that really isn't how I parent and it isn't how they have fun. Yes I think it is very important to engage and interact with your kids a lot, but I can't do it all day, every day. I had things I needed to get done and the kids needed to learn to be independent. You see, my kids are kind of a strange breed in that they have to want me to play a specific role in their game play adventures. If I organize something or they don't specifically invite me to play, they don't want me around.  So what was a mom to do? Keep buying board games over and over or completely ban them?  I chose to ban them. . .until I had three more kids. Unfortunately I didn't ban other toys with small pieces so I soon realized the younger three kids are the same as the older two when it comes to these things.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving night 2012. I figured I could try one last time this year to see if we could keep one bard game intact for more than a week. Do I expect it to happen?  No! We are talking about kids who can't be bothered to put their books back in their backpacks when done studying, toys in the toy box when done playing, or dishes in the sink when done eating. No matter how much I teach them to or punish them, they just don't learn. But then that leaves you to wonder how the kids are turning out so good.  They have learned to be independent, strong, polite and kindhearted at my hands so why can't I teach them to put small toys/game pieces in a box when they are done playing with them!  I don't know.  I think this one is beyond even me, maybe it is just one of those things. (Cue Twilight Zone music)

Until next time. . .hold your loved ones tighter <3