A WEDDING IN THE FAMILY FOR A GREAT COUPLE

Our family has had a busy couple of years milestone wise.  Last summer my in laws celebrated 50 years of marriage, BIL and  SIL celebrated 25 years of marriage, one of the Nephews (D) (a talented writer I might add) turned 21, The Sophomore started high school last year, Gwen graduated high school this year, Mr. Crazy starts Kindergarten in the fall, Another of our Nephews (J) graduates college in December, The Hubs and I celebrate our 20th anniversary next year and the most recent celebration is courtesy of our Nephew (J)

In ten short days he and his beautiful fiance, whom I will also call J (haha just realized they have the same initials - yeah, I'm slow) are getting married. I remember this time in my life, so busy and stressful and EXCITING. To be ready to commit to the one person you don't want to exist without is an amazing feeling.

And to top it off, these two are a great couple.  We don't get to see these relatives from the midwest very often, but we saw this pair (and met her for the first time) last summer.  As a couple they are stunning.  You can see that they are absolutely 100 percent comfortable together and 100 percent in love with each other.  They are simply AMAZING together. We can't be there for their big day, but I am already dying to see pictures.  They will light up the whole world on their special day and I am glad I will be able to see that glow from here.

As a romance writer you can bet I am a huge fan of love and marriage and I think that is why I love this couple so much. They've got what it takes, I only hope they never have to face all of the hardships and tragedies that couples in romance novels do, or that they glide through them holding tight to each other.

So J & J  I am right here and now wishing you the best of luck and a happy, full life together.  We love you and will be celebrating here. We hope that someday you can come on a family trip with us as our guests and we can get to know you  as a couple (and maybe some kids someday?) much better.

Until next time... Love, Love, Love - spouses, kids friends, doesn't matter. Just LOVE! <3

HEALTH UPDATE
Well, I started the diet today!  I load on the food and fats for two days and then I start the low cal diet along with the drops. Just by taking the three supplements I've been taking Omni IV, Charge and Nite Lite I dropped 7 pounds before the diet even began and my hip pain is about 1/4 better (stiffness and mobility has a way to go)  I'm on my way folks!  Wish me good luck :)

ANONYMOUS

Nowadays you sometimes wonder if there are any generous people left on the planet.  There is so much murder, self righteousness, judgement and meanness here. It is kind of sad really.  And then someone does something out of the blue to help someone, or just plain make someone's day better.  I was graced with one of these wonderful people just the other day.

I was going about my business, working on the social media blitz for my novel, (failing miserably thus far :/) when I received a notice on my Facebook. Someone I knew as a fellow February 2011 mom had tagged me in a post.  It seems that someone had anonymously bought me a portrait of my Rizzy girl. (I'd been trying to win a free one for her last two or three facebook contests!)  If you don't know about Rizzy, go check out this post about her here PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

Needless to say, I was floored!  I cried, I giggled, I was speechless (yeah I know, never happens right?) I couldn't believe someone had been kind enough to do this for me.  Someone really understood how much Rizzy meant to me and how much I miss her to this day. I thanked the portrait artist and asked her to pass along a great big thank you to whoever bought this wonderful keepsake for me. I wish there was more I could do for this person, but other than mentioning them in my upcoming book and writing this blog post, I don't know what else I could do.  But like many generous people, they probably don't need more than a basic thank you.  I know when I give from my heart, I don't need anything in return.  Seeing (or hearing about) tears, a smile, a grateful receiver is more than enough.  So to you Mr./Ms. Anonymous - I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I will often wonder who you are, one of my friends, a family member, a blog fan, a book fan.  But truthfully if I never find out who did this I will be okay, and you know why?  Because this simple thing gives me hope for the human race.  There still are people out there who love and give generously of their hearts, wallets and time.  True feel good moments are rare these days, and this old mom was just on the receiving end of one!!!

Until Next Time...Give of yourself and ask nothing in return because in all actuality you will get something in return.  You will get the satisfaction of knowing that you affected someone's life positively.  You will get the satisfaction of knowing that you have given hope to the human race.

If you get a chance, go visit Brianne's Abstract Pet Portraits on Facebook.  But don't be surprised if she isn't accepting new orders for a few days here and there because she is not only a fabulous artist who is always busy with orders, she has a two year old just a sassy and cute as Little Butt to contend with. She always re opens the 'store' for new orders though!!!  BRIANNE'S ABSTRACT PET PORTRAITS

LOVE RELATIONSHIPS

I talked to a few people online who have physical limitations about the struggles they go through in their love relationships and here is what we came up with to make a 'troubled' relationship stronger.

So, we all know the ups and downs of love relationships right? Trust, love, desire, honesty it is all about working hard to keep things going. When you factor a physical limitation into all of that, what do you get? Well, you get a lot more hard work!

The spouse who isn't physically limited is bound to, at some point, feel like they are carrying way to much of the burden. The physically limited spouse is bound to feel guilty for not being able to do an equal amount of the physical aspects of having a family and they might also feel unappreciated for doing the stuff that they are able to do. Caring for the emotional well being of a household can sometimes be just as tiring as doing all of the driving, or carrying of kids, or fixing of things around the house.

So what happens when you put a person who feels like they do everything together with a person who feels guilty, but overworked (and always in pain) at the same time? FIREWORKS!!! Things can get rough. But if your relationship is strong and you work hard, you can overcome a lot.  When you add in the whole intimacy issue, when one partner has limitations on what they can do physically, well you have to work even harder.

I think the key thing in a relationship like this is UNDERSTANDING.  They physically able partner must absolutely understand what their partner is going through.  If they ever doubt their partner's physical capabilities that is going to ruin things right there. Understand and accept that they can not help you drive across the state, pull up carpet, carry the baby to the car. And for goodness sake  do not compare the physically limited partner to others.  Just because friend A has bad knees/hips/feet/back/eyes too and can do some physical stuff doesn't mean your partner can.  They may have different problems or different symptoms.

As for the physically limited partner, they need to realize that their significant other might need a bit more emotional support when they take over the physical duties of the house. An extra (or 100) 'good job!' can go a long way.  An extra hour break from doing the physical stuff (play on game console, taking a walk, watching TV, reading....) can also do wonders.  Don't be so hard on them if they don't finish a task right away.

Most of all, if there is only one person in the house bringing in income because of the physical limitations, do not hold that against the non working person.  There are plenty of things they do in  life to earn their share of the money brought home.  Money is one of the top problem causers in a relationship as it is, so don't make it worse in an already challenged relationship.

What is a good way to keep things going good in a challenged relationship?  Time alone is great.  Take a weekly, or even monthly date ALONE together.  If you have no one to babysit kids (if you have any) then by all means just let the kids play (or sleep) while you sit/lay alone in your bedroom and talk.  Talking is great for a relationship.

As for my relationship, I wouldn't say it's been easy because it hasn't, but we've done something right because in June we will be celebrating nineteen years of marriage and in October we will have been together 21 years!

Until next time...no matter what the challenges of your relationship are, if you want it to work then make it work. Relationships aren't easy, they are all about hard work!

MY BOOK COVER

Here you go folks! I promised a sneak peek of the book cover, so here it is.  Keep your eyes and ears open this coming week for release info.  When it happens it will be immediate!

I MISS YOU DADDY

Tomorrow is a very sad anniversary for me.  It will be 12 years since my father passed away. I can't believe he has been gone that long. My first two kids were just little and never really got the chance to get to know him as well as I'd hoped.  He never did get to know about the last three. I can only hope he can see what beautiful children they are.

My mom, dad and I

My father raised me. It was my choice and it wasn't because I didn't love my mother. She is the most awesome person on the planet.  I don't know why I chose my dad when the divorce happened. Maybe it was because I just knew that he needed me. Or maybe I wasn't completely comfortable with my mom's new husband. Or I guess it just could have been as simple as I was a daddy's girl from the beginning.  I often wonder if I will ever know.

Growing up, my biggest fear was losing my daddy.  He and I were really close. We were equally proud of each other I think. He was my favorite person on earth. He was so strong despite a sometimes debilitating back problem. He always just kept pushing on no matter how bad he hurt.

He wasn't able to work or he would lose his disable vet benefits, so to make extra money to make ends meet he would collect aluminum, copper and many other metals to recycle for money.  I tell you, that man put his all into it too! He would literally work from sun up til sundown some days.  He put me through college with money he got doing this. I remember one time I wasn't going to have enough money to pay a car payment and insurance one month so he took in a load of 'junk' as we called it, and sold it so I would have the money.  He'd been planning on buying something special for himself with that load.  My daddy would do anything for me and I would have done anything for him.

I will never forget January of 1999.  I got a call from my dad, the call that every child dreads.  He told me that there was something wrong with him and he had to go get some special tests to find out what was going on.  Within a month he had his diagnosis.  ALS - Lou Gherig's Disease.  I knew what it was, one of my favorite Soap Opera actors had it. I also knew it was fatal.  There was no getting around it, My precious daddy was dying. I wouldn't have him anymore.

I wish I'd been in a better financial situation at the time so I could have let him come stay with us, but I wasn't.  He needed constant care and with two small children and a very small condo that we were already outgrowing it would have been nearly impossible to have him come to us. We weren't even paying our own mortgage at that point so it would have been very rough on everybody, but especially on him.  He wouldn't have been happy living anywhere but in the town he loved.  In the end he was worried about the little ones seeing their grandpa deteriorate and die, so I doubt he would have come even if we could have asked.

My daddy as a baby

He found a caretaker in his town (that turned out to be a nightmare in and of itself.  I will someday find a way to talk about it without ruffling feathers and being threatened with a lawsuit). I felt helpless during this stage of his illness because I knew things weren't right but there wasn't much I could do about it. I visited when I could and took joy in the fact that when I would visit his outlook would be much better for a week or so and he would actually start to eat well again!

I remember getting a call telling me that my dad was at the Veteran's hospital in Las Vegas so I rushed over there (only about 20-30 miles from my home)  I was devastated with what I found.  He was barely coherent (morphine) and his speech was almost impossible to understand. I knew it would soon be the end.  He didn't want the lifesaving measures that some get--the feeding tubes, the breathing tubes etc.  He didn't want to live like that.

While I was there he kept saying Kitty and I couldn't understand why. He hadn't had a cat in probably ten years and his caretaker didn't have one so I was stumped.  Years later, I found out that my aunt Kitty had passed away back in the mid nineties and I have always wondered if he was seeing his sister calling him to come be with her.  A couple of days after the hospital visit I received the dreaded final call.  The social worker who'd been working with him called to tell me my Daddy was gone. It was February 21, 2001.

For years I had regrets and many what ifs about my dad but I think I have finally come to accept that things were the way they were for a reason. I truly believe that he is looking down on us and keeping watch.  If I ever miss him really bad, I just look at my son. He looks exactly like his Grandpa did when he was a kid.

Until next time...hold your loved ones tight and never forget to tell them you love them. You never know when giving them your all might not be possible so you have to settle for giving them comfort from the love in your heart.