STRUGGLES WITH IMPERFECTION

So, over the last week I've been struggling with something that i just had to share as I think a lot of people struggle with it. IMPERFECTION.  I have learned to live with it in my house, with physical limitations and five kids there is no way I am ever going to keep my house perfect. I get it. I really do.  I've accepted it (for the most part). There will always be a dish not washed, clothes not washed/folded, toys not put away and dirt tracked through the house. (Unless of course I hire a maid to live in and follow the kids around with her cleaning supplies. Hmmm, wish I could afford that!)

My most recent struggle with imperfection came last week with my book Virgin Voyage. I finally got down to doing more than just skimming and reading my favorite parts. I was absolutely mortified to see that somehow my group of five people missed 15 mistakes in the Proof (me being one of them :/).  Things like know instead of known, child instead of children, improper indents that were made while formatting the book for publication, stray punctuation, improper punctuation.  Really really mortified!!!  (Not to mention the formatting issues of my Kindle copy that DID NOT show up on the preview I did before publication)

I had people tell me that I should just forget it and move on 15 mistakes in 312 pages wasn't bad. I had them tell me to just apologize and move on.  I tried, I really did. But I just couldn't ignore it or move on.  It haunted me, awake and asleep.  I had something that I loved so much, that was flawed, out and about and people were reading it.  After a few days, I just couldn't take it anymore I had to do something about it.  So I did.

I had been told that you couldn't re submit it once published but I did some research and found out that in fact you could. So this weekend I re uploaded my work for both the paperback and kindle versions. (I had a perfect copy already so I'm thinking that I uploaded the wrong copy or they used one of the previous copies I had uploaded when trying to make formatting perfect) I learned that if you upload a version and it needs corrections, to completely close out your browser and reopen it before uploading a new copy. So, anyway, I uploaded and republished my book without mistakes.  The preview of the Kindle showed it being perfect so if I notice on the actual Kindle that it isn't i'm going to be one upset mama. I ok'd the proof of the book this morning and am very happy with how it turned out.

I can not tell you how much better I feel now that I know that the product out there is as close to perfect as I could get it. A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  Much of the depression I had been feeling is gone. (read my blog from Friday about my Depression). It is amazing how something can bother you so much, but when you really sit down and think about it, the solution is easy.  Do whatever you have in your power to fix it. My book was off the market for awhile and that could have hurt sales (haha not really with me, because no one has reviewed my book yet so I don't have an abundance of sales although my free weekend was amazing!) and it was a lot of work to make sure everything was perfect.  But the peace of mind I now have is indescribable. I wouldn't change it for the world.  I don't feel like a pretender anymore, I feel like a real author!!!

Until Next Time...If you want something to be perfect, then do whatever you have to do to make it that way, whether it be the first time or the tenth.  If you are not satisfied, try try try again until it is. Don't settle for second best just because it is easier!

SOCIAL NETWORKING

I really had no idea, I mean no idea!!!! There are so many social networking sites out there now and until I published a book on my own, I had no idea how many.  I was part of facebook, twitter, tumblr and I had an unused myspace account. Now I have a linkedin, amazon book club, bookblog, IAN social network and probably a dozen others that I don't visit every day. What I will do to sell copies of my book has become absolutely nuts.

I can't tell you how many times a day I copy and paste my URL's, links, book synopsis, author bio and type in my email address.  You would think I memorized everything right?  Oh hell no.  I'm too lazy to do that.  Copy/Paste is my best friend! One of these days when i'm not working on the next book, hanging with the kids or social networking I will get all of the info I use on those sites and put them all in the same document to make copying easier.  As it is now, I have a million tabs open on the computer at any given time so I have access to all of my stuff.

Is it a waste of time?  I have no idea yet.  I guess we will find out if in a couple of months none of my efforts have resulted in sales.  I will definitely have to consider cutting back if it all seems for naught. It takes a lot of work to get the word out.  I'm really afraid that I won't get the 'hang' of it and I will end up spending more time networking my first novel than I will writing the second one.  I literally marketed all day for two days.  And it seems like every day I find a new way to do it and that just adds to my workload.

I hope to get into a routine.  7 am -10 am marketing and networking, 11 am - 6 pm writing, 6:30 pm-7:30 pm marketing and networking and then 8:00- bedtime writing.  We'll see how that goes.

At this point I am willing to do just about anything (free) to get my book out there and noticed.  I"m not looking to sell a million copies, but I would love to have a loyal following and know that people like what i've done!  In the end, I know the hard work will be worth it and if I ever get discouraged (or bored with the marketing) all I have to do is remind myself of this.

The most exciting part of this whole process is meeting some great new people!  You have the people you follow on twitter who won't follow you back because you are possible competition  yet they have no problem periodically DM ing you to remind you to buy their stuff. :/ and then on the exact opposite side of that you have the ones who offer to do interviews or spotlights of your work free of charge!  I've already had my first author interview because a gentleman (and fellow author) was willing to give me a chance.  I will forever be grateful to him for that.  I will link later to his site so you can check out his work.  I can't wait to get my first copy of one of his books! You also find people who are excited to have a new author in the field and they give you many websites and much great advice to help you succeed. I must say, I have met some wonderful people through social networking/marketing and for that I am grateful and it makes me want to be just like them and help others succeed in their goals.

So for now, I am busy busy busy, a bit overwhelmed, and wonderfully happy with the way things are going.  For once, I am actually enjoying my job! (Yes you can enjoy it and be annoyed/flabergasted/overwhelmed by it because that means you are being challenged!)

Until next time...If you start a new endeavor, be prepared to work very hard!  In the end it will be well worth it and hopefully you will have the time of your life!  :) If you want to buy my book, I have links on the side!  Check them out :)

Please visit http://rcbonitz.com and check out his work.  He did my first author interview and I hope to have him on here soon in an author interview!  :) and if you hurry you might still be able to read my interview! :)

SPRING BREAK...FUN AT HOME!!!

Well, spring break is over and I am still alive, as are all of the children and the husband too!  We actually had a nice break.  We have a new living room floor and will soon have a new kitchen one too.  We have new furniture that we got at a great deal.  A couch, love seat, and rocking chair for six hundred dollars.  I'll tell you right now, I don't know what I will do without tax refunds once the kids are gone and we don't get much.  This year we got enough to do our floors, replace our stained tattered furniture, pay off some debt and publish my books.

NEW LIVING ROOM FLOOR (AND LITTLE BUTT)

What was the funnest part of our little vacation?  Just doing nothing too important!  I didn't make the kids do too many chore projects (laundry is still behind but we'll catch up...eventually). About 3/4 of the way through we decided that maybe we shouldn't put off the flooring or furniture any longer so the last few days were really busy but the rest of the time included lots of x box time,  reading time, social networking time.  It was really fun!

The weather was great most days so the little ones got to go outside and play which was a life saver for us.  Cabin fever can kiss my a**! This is not to say that there still aren't some lingering effects. The kids fought like crazy.  The Senior and The Freshman, Miss Crazy and Mr. Insane, Mr Insane and Little Butt.  Those are the times when I am tempted to have that dungeon built under our home...but then they start getting along again and we start to have fun. There were lots of family dinners (lunches and breakfasts too)  And The Shooter took the time to have a father/child date with each of the kids.  Doesn't happen often with his work schedule, that's for sure!

I published my two books and have done a lot of social networking. I see words like twitter, linkedin, facebook, etc. floating before my eyes while I sleep now. :/  But the kids are back in school.  The Shooter is back at work and as soon as I am done typing up this blog I will be starting work on book 2 of the Sunset Destiny Romance series.  I am excited to get back to work, but I wish spring break was just another week long!

THE FRESHMAN AND MISS CRAZY ON THE NEW LOVE SEAT

I didn't get much chance to sleep in because I had so much networking to do and we had so much work the last couple of days (floor and furniture) but that's okay because when I got home from dropping Miss Crazy off at school this morning. I laid back down and fell back to sleep for a bit and then the shooter took me out for breakfast.  So all is now good with the world...except...I have to drive daily again...blech  and I have to do it in the snow today.  The forecast said high forties, partly cloudy and chance of rain showers in the afternoon.  By nine o'clock it was snowing like crazy.  We aren't supposed to get much, but it was totally not what we'd been expecting.  I had shorts picked out for Little Butt to wear around the house and I think The Senior was planning on wearing a dress. So, the winter coats came back out and we are eagerly looking forward to the sixty degree weather coming up later in the week.  After writing all of this, I think the key word for this last week was....RELAXING.  I finally had a chance to relax a bit.  Not totally because after all, I am a mom, but some.  That's fine by me!  I enjoyed it thoroughly!!!

Until next time...Sometimes breaks aren't for seeing how much fun you can get into a short period. Once in a while when you get that break, just enjoy it.  Just relax and be grateful that you aren't super busy for once. <3

NEW MOMMY BLOGGER BOOK!!!

I have a new book about my blog coming out this weekend.  It will be available from create space, amazon and kindle!  I am giving you all a sneak peek at my cover right here and now.

COURAGE

Yesterday was a huge day for my family. Something we had all been working toward finally came to fruition. I became a published author. Everybody is so happy for me and I am grateful for the support.

So the day was all a giant celebration right? Nope. It was at first.  The family went out for lunch and they gave me peace and quiet while I finished up the marketing and kindle publishing. But then as usual  mama started to get a bit overwhelmed. Still excited - absolutely. Still grateful - absolutely. Absolutely one hundred percent overwhelmed - Oh hell yeah!

The Shooter and I decided to go out for dinner alone to celebrate and I perked up a bit, but as soon as we got home I started to slide again.  What the hell had I gotten myself into! People on my Facebook groups were talking about reading what I'd written. Crap what had just happened? Just a couple years ago it was almost impossible for me to let anyone read what I wrote. I had to literally force myself to let my own husband read it, and here I was putting it out there for everyone to read.

I started to second guess myself. What if it sucked.  What if the feedback I got from friends, family and strangers was all a lie.  What if I disappointed my friends when they read the book.  What if, what if, what if.  I had a lot of that going on last night! By the time I went to bed, I was about ready to crawl into a hole and hide forever so I wouldn't have to see the faces/hear the voices/see the posts of people who were reading my book.  I convinced myself that I didn't have any talent whatsoever and that I had just embarrassed myself on a global scale.

I read for a bit before bed - another self published author who I wont' mention by name, and checked Facebook on my phone one last time.  There I found out from a friend that my kindle version was finally available so of course I had to drag my big butt out of bed to get online to check. And there it was, in all it's glory, with a preview of the prologue, chapter 1 and part of 2. I read it and truthfully it was good. Much better than the book I'd just been reading (and it wasn't that bad really). I know I am nowhere near a great writer, I will probably never be the next Steven King, or Nora Roberts, , Edgar Alan Poe, or Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens). But you know, I could be worse and I think I wove a great story. And I know I will get better with time and with each book I write and each bit of studying I do.

So, what did it take for me to be a published author?  Courage. Plain and simple it took courage.  But how did I get that courage?  I am the biggest chicken s**t in the world when it comes to putting myself out there.  I hate criticism and I hate negativity. Well, truthfully I will never know what gave me the courage.  I had a lot of support and great people to work with, but I don't think that would have been enough to get me over my horrible fears.  All I know is that I am grateful for the courage I was able to come up with because this is absolutely the best feeling in the world right now.  I can't count on both hands how many books I've sold so far and the rush is incredible.  I know I will have more moments of self doubt (probably many more) but I am prepared to combat them.......with COURAGE.

Until next time...If you finally find the courage to do something you've always wanted to do but were too afraid to pursue it, then go with the flow!!!! Don't question it, just do it! Courage can pop up in times when you least expect it and for that I will be forever grateful.

MY BOOK COVER

Here you go folks! I promised a sneak peek of the book cover, so here it is.  Keep your eyes and ears open this coming week for release info.  When it happens it will be immediate!

I DID IT!!!

So, guess what I did on Friday?  Yep!  I finished the romance novel I was writing. I think the only thing I've ever been that thrilled about in my life was getting married and giving birth. If my hips hadn't been hurting, I think I could have done some sort of end zone dance or maybe jumped off the roof in joy.  But I just kinda danced around the house and got a lot of hugs from my kids.

These kids (characters in my book) were conceived eight years ago and I just now finally gave birth! Now we are in the editing stage right now.  The senior is an aspiring English teacher so she is doing all of the punctuation/grammar editing and then I and my friend will do content editing. Someday, hopefully, I will be able to hire someone to do the editing because I hate hate hate doing it myself. Layout is pretty much set (and I must say the interior is going to be pretty), we just have to plug in the finished project when I type in all of the changes.  Sigh....Someday I will hire a typist. I used to love to type, but I just can't sit and do it like I want to, because of my hips.

So what's next?  Well, I have to decide on a cover. I never thought this part of the project would be so hard! I want it to be super special though because I can't afford to buy rights to a lustful couple picture to put on there. I have three options right now that I love, but I JUST CAN'T DECIDE!  I have been asking for opinions and it still doesn't make it any easier, because once my friends chose one, I find another style I like.  So, my point with this? It might take another eight years to publish because I can't chose a damn cover! Haha!

So, after the cover is picked we will wrap up all loose ends and it will be time to publish.  I am so excited I can't even concentrate sometimes. lol  It looks like the book will be 5 x 8 and about 313 pages or so (not counting title, copyright etc. pages)  I thought I was going to be lucky to get 200 pages out of it.  So that was a pleasant surprise. This book has a little bit of everything; drama, love, passion, heartbreak, comedy, fun and SEX, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised at how long it is.

So, would you all like to read the synopsis that will appear on the back of my book?  Okay, here it is:  VIRGIN VOYAGE

Example of interior layout

"I've waited a lifetime to touch you like this"

Mari Mannon and Graham Blake always loved each other, but life kept getting in the way. An Alaskan cruise vacation might be just the place to overcome their demons and rebuild the love they once had--to discover a passion they’ve never known. But first, Mari must cast aside her inhibitions to become the independent, carefree woman she once was. And Graham must  learn to believe in love again. Can they find their way, or will everything fall apart for good?

And the good news? There will be four more books in the series. One about each of the Mannon Children - Next up is Alaskan Ambush! If you want to read excerpts of Virgin Voyage visit my other site http://www.writerjjellis.com 

Coming soon: Sneak peek at the cover! (If I ever chose one :/)

Until next time...Follow your dreams no matter how long it takes.  Keep at it, and no matter what, you have to work hard!