IS IT TIME YET???

What time is it mama?
What the hell do you care, you can't tell time... Okay, so I don't actually say that, but hey it's what I feel like saying.  I was sitting here earlier thinking about how all of my kids have had an obsession with time, starting at about 4 years of age.  'What time is it mama' is a frequent question in this house and every time, through five kids, it drives me nuts! To them one o'clock is the same as 10 o'clock. But being the dutiful, good mama I am, I answer them.

After this initial stage of always asking what time it is, we then move on to things like 'Mama how long until we (Fill In The Blank). Well, if I tell them an hour they look at me like I've lost my ever loving mind. So we started to say two shows on TV (because most of their shows last 1/2 hour).  It's worked so far!  

The next stage?  Well it is when they are looking forward to something that is going to happen in an hour and they ask every five minutes if it is time yet because they have no idea of the concept of time passing. Even when I tell them as soon as such and such show is over, they still ask every ten minutes.

I've come to the conclusion that time passing is the bane of a mother's existence. Or at least this mother's.  What time is it, how long until..., is it time yet. I will probably hear that in my dreams, over and over again until I am dead.  And Little Butt hasn't even started that stage yet!  Mr.Insane is in the first/second stages and Miss Crazy is in the third although she seems to be able to incorporate all stages in one highly annoying conversation.

I could probably get  back at them when they are older.  About the time they turn seventeen  I can start asking. What time is it?  When are you leaving for college?  Is it time for you to go to college yet?  But no, I won't. Because I am the dutiful, good mama.

Until Next Time...When your kids ask stupid questions, just smile and answer.  But then again, you probably already knew that.

CRAZY DAYS, FUN TIMES, SILLY KIDS AND OTHER STORIES

Sorry I'm so late but I had to take Gwen to the doctor today for an ear infection and got waylaid by a lot of crap including a big box store's pharmacy. :/ And then it was family time and an early dinner so now here I am.

It was a weird weekend for sure. We had a lot of family turmoil going on around here (extended family not the ones who live here) but it was all straightened out quickly.  Thank goodness, I'm not up for fighting right now (or ever really). I said some things on facebook that were taken wrong and I really didn't think to explain to certain people about it.  I guess when they say be careful what you talk about on facebook, they aren't kidding right?

Poor Gwen is sick again.  The allergies are killing her this year.  She had an earache so I took her in today and they cleaned her ear out.  She had a piece of was in there so big that it is a wonder she cold even hear out of that ear.  And of course an infection was being caused and blocked by the wax.  It was painful, but thankfully the doctor was able to get it out and she is on the mend.

I am trying to teach Mr. Crazy to recognize his ABC's but it is hard.  He is not all that interested in writing them down and that would be a great way for him to learn. And he can't sit still long enough for flash cards.  If anyone has any suggestions, we'll take em!  He needs to know this by mid August!

Little Butt still amuses me every day with the cute little things she says, however I keep forgetting to write them down. And I have some short stories that I am reading so I can do reviews on them but she won't give me my kindle!  She stays up really late and won't let go of it until it dies completely.  Sigh....I stay up way too late reading now. I need to find the money to buy myself another kindle! (And no, she doesn't have a bed time yet. That will come down the road when she is older.  I like being able to stay up late and work and sleep in late or wake up early and work.)

The writing has been going great!!! People are loving my excerpts from my next book. Especially the one from chapter four.  It is a cliffhanger even! http://www.writerjjellis.com is my site for excerpts and the first four posts are from chapters 1-4 of my next novel. Check them out if you get a chance. I have also received some great reviews for my latest book

http://www.amazon.com/Alaskan-Ambush-Sunset-Destiny-Romance/dp/0615827942/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1373323369&sr=8-1&keywords=Alaskan+Ambush
 My books have been called witty...hehe I love that word and think it is a great compliment. LOL

As for the health and diet. I have been  off the supplements for the last couple of days and boy am I feeling it. I feel like crud, so tomorrow it is back on the supplements.  And Wednesday I will hopefully be starting the diet and you can witness the pounds melt away.  My friend who did the diet before me has been called the incredible shrinking woman!

Until next time...Watch what you post on facebook, don't argue with relatives - you love them so it's not worth it, teach your kid to recognize ABC's way before they start school (but not too early, because they are now saying that teaching them too young doesn't do any good because they don't retain it as well as if you teach them a bit later.), and for pete's sake, write down everything your little ones say (and don't give them your kindle to use EVER!!!) ;)

MY KIDS THINK I'M STUPID - WARNING WARNING - RANT FORTHCOMING

When I make a threat my kids don't believe that I will follow through with it. I guess because they usually straighten up just in time to avoid the worst.  But this time something seems different.  I don't think  they believe that I have arranged to have their phones turned off on Friday unless I cancel the order. All they have to do is keep up with their chores and catch up on the ones they are behind on.

They have until Friday and I told them about it on Monday and they have done nothing but sit on their butts and play on the computer. This is going to get fun. I will also be disconnecting wireless internet and taking the modem for myself.

It seems that I have one child who thinks she is 18 already and paying rent so she doesn't have to help out with daily tasks around the house. Tsk Tsk Tsk.  She is still under 18 and pays absolutely no rent so she helps out whether she wants to or not. So I guess on Friday she will lose her communication device to the outside world. No skin off my back, but maybe she will learn a lesson - or maybe not. Only time will tell. (Oh and the phone still has to be paid for even if service is suspended)

And it seems like I have another child who thinks she only has to help out if everyone else does their share.  I don't care if the other kids don't do their job as long as long as she does hers she will be fine. But if everyone isn't all working at the same time she has a freak fit. Frankly, I'm so tired of all this crap.  Do the job you were assigned or asked to do and be done with it.  Everybody has different schedules you don't have to all work at the same time!!!!

The sad part is, it's not that much work - some dishes, some laundry and some simple pick up divided between 5-6 people. 1/2 an hour per day if there are no chores to catch up on. And of course there is their bathroom. I can't even go in there without gagging so I insist they clean it themselves.  If they want to be pigs, they are old enough to deal with it!

We do have the little ones try to help a bit with general pick up after all they are part of the mess making crew. But you know they are only 5 and 6 so if I feel like letting them play outside rather than  spend ten minutes picking up then that is my prerogative.  I won't be so lenient when they are older but they will still have plenty of opportunity to be kids.  And what pisses me off the most, and I don't think the older ones realize I know this, is that they have slowly tried to turn their chores over to the little ones.  I'm sorry 5 and 6 are way too young to have that responsibility so I won't put up with it.  EVERYBODY in this house has their responsibilities and they damn sight better do it and not try to pawn it off on someone else.  And I'm sorry, if you constantly get the baby to want you so you can get out of chores, don't complain when she wants your attention all the damn time.  You need to live with it!!! You create a monster and it becomes your lover, your best friend, your responsibility....PERIOD. END OF STORY!

Until Next Time...It is natural for kids to think their parents are stupid, but that doesn't mean that we as parents can't teach them how it really is. I've been alive almost 43 years, you've been alive under 20, you do the math.

HEALTH UPDATE - Feeling good physically but still can't do the diet because of the problem with my throat.  Have to pop way too many pills and have a hard time eating sometimes.  Sigh....I'll get there someday.

MY LITTLE JOY

In a house full of misery there has been one bright spot lately. And that bright spot has a name - Little Butt.  Her facial expression, her use of sentences and her tone of voice has been a great joy to me recently.

Like the time she walked up to me and said "mama I have boobee, I need to go to doctor."  If you hadn't guessed, boobee is booboo. She was in a way telling me that we had been to the doctor way too many times in the last month!  I love it when Mr Insane and Miss Crazy are misbehaving and she will sigh as if the weight of the world is on her shoulders and then yell "Stop it beebee and brubber!
One day I just about peed myself laughing when one of the younger kids got 'hurt' and started unnecessarily screeching, Little Butt sighed that ever present sigh and said "you big faker"

And then there are the times where the kids will be listening to music and she starts singing along.  She sounds so cute singing the words in her own little two year old accent. And then I look at her and smile and she turns all shy and ducks her head and stops singing.  That part makes me sad because I want her to sing all the time, toddler accent and all. The song that she seems to like singing the most lately is In My Head by Jason Derulo. I use it to help increase my typing speed and she picked up on it and will have us play it multiple times in an hour.

And then there is the cute as hell smart assery. The other day she asked for a popsicle and I said "you don't need a popsicle" and she said "I need popsicle." and I said "why are you hungry?" and She said "No, I need popsicle cause I want one. Now! Mommy." Yeah, cute but after we had a 'being polite' talk I sent her out of the room and laughed, again, until I almost peed. (give me a break, I've had 5 kids, I pee when I breathe too deep.)

My oldest daughter and I spent most of last evening just looking at Little Butt and smiling over her antics.  I didn't' think to write down stuff she did and my memory sucks lately but I remember my smile rarely leaving my face all because of the cute little girl who steals my heart again and again every time she opens her mouth.

Until Next Time...enjoy the fun things your kids do and don't forget to write some of them down for future memories.  You'll be glad you did when you can relive the good times.

Update on my health product adventure - 

Well I've had to postpone the  weight loss stuff because I can't swallow very well with this sore throat i've developed so it will have to wait a few days.  I have started on the other supplements and boy am I glad I did.  I'm sleeping great!  My legs are strong again (hips still bad but that will be all weight loss). I can actually go shopping without pooping out after a couple of aisles.  My legs were strong enough for me to go to my son when he was crying out. I didn't have to send Gwen to do it!!!!  I can actually get up and prepare my supplements or prepare a drink without being in so much pain I can't function http://www.omnitrition.com/jjellis

afterwards.  I think I am on the right track with this product and I can't wait to try more.

UPS AND DOWNS - 19 YEARS OF MARRIAGE

Well, nineteen years ago tomorrow I had one of the busiest, yet most wonderful days of my life. I walked down the aisle and said I Do to the man I love.  Nineteen years, do you believe it?  Sometimes it seems like yesterday and sometimes it seems like twenty-nine years ago.

My memory is so bad that I often wonder if I will ever remember a lot of details from my wedding.  I remember spending the night before at my in-laws house (The Hubs and I lived together so we decided to spend the night before apart). If I remember correctly, The Hubs went to an informational meeting in north town for a police department hiring fair. I remember waking up and having breakfast. I remember at some point during the afternoon taking my bridesmaids to a salon I frequented and getting nails and hair done.

After that we headed to the church and started to get ready. I remember my stockings were the wrong kind and we had to scramble to find a different pair.  Taking pictures was next. With my mom, dad, bridesmaids etc. I remember heading up to the foyer of the church and my daddy was there.  I was worried that he was uncomfortable, he wasn't much for being out in public with strangers and he wasn't much for dressing up in monkey suits, but on that day he seemed fine.  He even seemed fine with my mom being there (they didn't talk since the divorce).

I remember walking down the aisle with my daddy at my side and seeing The Hubs waiting for me.  I was nervous about being up in front of tons of people, but not about getting married. My memory skips through most of the ceremony but I do remember a little kid saying something that made The Hubs and I laugh through some of our vows.  It really helped me break the ice with my nervousness.  All in all it was the perfect wedding ceremony for me.

I remember my new BIL driving us to our reception destination. It was in the gorgeous, huge backyard of a friend of MIL's, on a golf course. (It is this house I think of when I write about a big house on a golf course in my second novel Alaskan Ambush).  The food was flown in from the east coast by The Hubs' uncle and it was the most delicious barbecue ever.  My daddy was able to sit with friends from my hometown so I knew he was okay.

We threw the garter and I don't remember who caught it. My friend Tammy caught the Bouquet and at some point we changed clothes because my long train got in the way. I remember opening gifts and then heading to the hotel.

And guess what I remember most from the wedding night?  Yep, trying to get the pins and hairspray out of my  hair. I'm pretty sure The Hubs and I did more honeymoon activities the night after the wedding than the wedding night. But that was okay because we had lived together for a long time before the wedding.

A highlight of our honeymoon was going in to Vegas (we spent it locally to visit with family members we hadn't seen in years) and seeing the dinner show at the Excalibur.  The Hubs' whole family was there and it was a great show!!! I don't know if they still have it, but if they do and you are in Vegas, go see it!

We pretty much settled back into our normal lives after that and we haven't had a boring year since.  We've had a few moves (Oregon, Back to Nevada, Wyoming, Within Wyoming) and I feel like I am forgetting something.... hmmm Oh yeah, in those nineteen years we had five kids.  Five crazy, wonderful kids over nineteen years.  We've had rough times - a fire that destroyed our business and life as we knew it, a midlife crisis for me, financial problems, meddling relatives, job problems etc....but we somehow made it through and it seems that we get stronger every day.  Our marriage has recently rekindled some of the spark and I can't wait to see what happens when I lose weight and get healthy! ;)

Until Next Time....Good, bad, ugly -
work hard and you can get through it all. Relationships are far from easy, so if you aren't willing to work your ass off, don't bother getting involved in one.

THE COUGHING CRUD & OTHER HORROR TALES

So, the coughing crud has caught some of us again. Most of the second rounds of this crap are quick and done, but mine is lingering and I feel like i'm dying.  I truly haven't felt this awful in years.  I feel like pumping my house full of lysol every week in hopes of keeping this crap out.

Gwen has another sinus infection and although she has been given a clean bill of health they are still running a few tests.  We do what will hopefully be the last one this afternoon.

Miss Crazy is almost done with antibiotics for a sinus infection. Do you all remember my previous post about the intricate workings of the six year old mind?  Well, she will be seven in a couple of months and I am beginning to think the scary sixes are a permanent thing for her.  She has been hell on wheels lately.  I'm about ready to trade her in for two three year olds or three two year olds!  That's how bad it is.

I am suffering a writer's block of sorts. I know exactly what I want to write for all of the books I am currently working on.  But when I get to the main 'sexy scene' from book 4 I am coming up blank.  I literally need The Hubs to rub my back and butt while I write, to get even ten good sentences on paper. (and no, it's not that kind of rubbing, it is more of a relaxing gently touch.) I think I am just too uptight to work, so I need a massage of sorts to work. But why just with this scene!  I've written many before (granted this book is much more wild and sexy than the other two) so who knows, I just hope it ends.  The benefits of massage other than ending writer's block?  Well that's an easy one, it kinda sorta helps my hips - a tiny bit.

My son is also being hell on wheels but I think that is because the neighbor kids are back and they have been away from the good influence of their mother for too long now so they are being horrible.  I am about one step away from banning all contact.  In the last two weeks my son has become a whiney two year old (and he's five)  Worst thing is, I am trying to get him ready for kindergarten in a couple of months and all he does is whine.

So what's going good you may ask?  Well The hubs and I celebrate 19 years of marriage on Tuesday and I think we are closer than ever. Once I get healthy again with the new product I am taking and selling, our relationship is going to go through the roof and I can't wait. Despite my trouble with the one scene? I am rockin it on my books and hope to have more out soon. The weather hasn't been too bad yet so that is good for me since I hate being hot. And my new product will be here soon and I hope to start the program on my anniversary.  What better day to start.

Until Next Time...Life is good. Period. End of Story. Even with crap going on, life is still good and darn it, I'm going to enjoy it! :)

TIME FOR A CHANGE

So, I woke up this morning gasping for breath and decided that I am so glad I'm in the process of making a change for my health.  Yes, I have allergies and yes that played a huge role in why I couldn't breathe. But you know what else played a role?  My weight.  If I didn't have all this extra weight weighing down on my lungs and nasal passages, my breathing wouldn't have been as bad this morning.  I can't tell you how long it has been since I have been able to sleep on my back. I'm done folks, really and truly done.

My biggest problem ?  How do I get healthy if I can barely move.  Well a couple of years ago (I think) I came across an old friend from college on Facebook.  We would comment on each other's posts and stuff, you know, like usual facebook friends do.  But one day I saw her start posting about this amazing weight loss she was going through. Can you say jealous? OMG I wanted some of the action, but I just wasn't ready yet.  Then I saw her start posting about health benefits of the products she was using and how her WHOLE FAMILY was benefiting.  The Jealousy increased greatly and I would occasionally 'like' a post about her (and her husband's) weight loss, but I still wasn't ready yet.  I watched her post about this for months and I really wanted to try what she was doing, but something kept holding me back.  And then one day I comment one of her posts and she messaged me about how I could accomplish what her family had.  Whatever was holding me back, started to wear away.

We would discuss it occasionally and I would look at the before and after pictures she posted and I became more and more interested.  Then one day, I woke up in pain and I felt fat and useless and I wondered if I would be here to see my youngest graduate high school like i'd just seen my oldest do. And I wondered if I would even be here to finish the series of 5 books that I am writing. And I checked the balance on credit cards and talked it over with the hubs.  We decided that I had to do something and since traditional diet/exercise routines were out of the question for me, we decided to take a chance.  I could just buy the product which isn't super cheap for a poor girl like me, but i've seen worse, or I could become a distributor and save a bit of money.

In the end I decided to try to sell the product.  If it works half as good for me as it did for my friend then I will be more than willing to shout it from the rooftops ten times over every hour on the hour.  You should see my friend, the transformation she and her husband have gone through brings tears to my eyes.  It's not just the amount of weight loss (They are a very good looking pair no matter what their weight) but you can see the glow of COMPLETE ABSOLUTE HEALTH coming off of them.  It is truly amazing.  What do I want to get out of this?  1. Health - i.e. better allergies and overall health, better sleep, help for my two kids who have attention problems 2. Weight loss 3. Less pain - this one isn't guaranteed because I just have bad hips/back, but without all the extra weight there could be some improvement- minor or major I will take it. 4. That little bit of extra money that I can make by selling this product.

So what will be my next step?  Get the product (ordered today) and have faith that it will work for me.  After that? Share it with all of you and keep you updated (not every blog, but once in awhile) to let you know how healthy we are getting.  I won't mention the product yet because I myself haven't used it and I want to be able to say 100 percent for sure that it works for ME before I share it completely. I bet you I will be back on here within 3-4 weeks with a good report.

Until Next Time...So, will you still love me if i'm no longer broken?  I sure hope so because my sense of humor will be intact and the antics of my kids will be the same (just most likely more healthy antics, less icky sickies!)  and I will still be a wife and mom who isn't perfect, but is doing the best she can to share ideas with you and entertain you.  Take care and be healthy!!! <3

5 KIDS = SAVE MONEY ANY WAY YOU CAN!

Today we celebrate an occasion that we go trough every 2-4 years.  We change television service.  When we first moved to Casper we had the local cable/phone/internet company and although their prices raised every year (first year locked in low rate) they didn't get too bad until the last year, so in order to save money we took advantage of a deal dish network was having (we are kind of DirecTV shy because of some previous problems so we figured we would give dish a try.).  We cancelled our cable and phone (kept internet though because they had a better price than Dish's partner company) and got our Dish hooked up.  The kids were so happy because we had Boomerang finally, but sad because we didn't have Disney Jr. when it came out. Well, after our first year, the price crept up by about twenty bucks.  After the first year and a half it crept up another thirty and we decided to get rid of it when our two years were up. Well, that time is now!!! I am so excited. I will miss boomerang if they haven't acquired it yet, but I will love Disney Jr. when I am home alone with Little Butt next year. :)

I often wonder how many people have done this.  We did it in the last place we lived too because we needed to save money.  You would think these companies would want a loyal customer base, but if you think a bit more you realize they like this happening because they can charge set up fees every time you switch and that is where they make a lot of money.  That is why we make sure to say we won't sign up for their biggest package unless we have no setup fees. It usually works, sometimes it doesn't though.

We don't really like having a landline phone, but it was part of the package we got.  We now get phone, tv and internet for less than we were paying for just Dish which is cool.  And even when the price increases in a year, we will still be playing less.  But the year after that, why do I have a feeling that we will be changing back to dish or even directv.  When you don't have much income, you do what you can to save money and so far it has worked for us.  (And in this case I actually like the channels and service I get with the local cable company better than with either of the satellite companies.)

Until Next Time...If money is low, do everything you can to save on your bills.  Someone told me I wasn't playing fair by working the system but you know what?  They work it to so I don't feel bad in the least. :)

FUNNY PICTURE CAPTION PT 4

Haven't done one of these in a long time!  Here are some cute and funny pictures that I edited when I was in a lot of pain and had nothing better to do. (Before I took up writing again)

ENJOY!!!!

That's where my chapter 4 went!

Sisterly love - Too bad only one sister still has that love now :(

She was so fascinated with her feet there for awhile!

Love her look! She does that a lot.

Used to be her favorite meal!

Chocolate lover!!!

Like I said above - loves her feet  (and Ramen)

She's a little cookie thief!

Memories of the PAST :/

haha she hates headbands!

Sister was actually yelling, but hey. ;)

Actually I think it was kweem (ice cream)

Classic wake up!  

GOOD NEWS, GOOD TIMES, GOOD DAYS!

So, I was sitting here on the couch fuming because I am not getting the drive free summer I had planned, and no one was listening to my directive that I would not be giving rides, when my phone rang.  I had no clue who it was, but I answered it because the first three numbers indicated it was from the school district. Boy am I glad I did answer it!  They were calling to let me know that they now had room for my son in our school of choice!!!  Woo hoo, that means I don't have to drive all over the place next year getting both of my smaller kids to different schools and different activities at the exact same start and end times. (You know it would have been painful having to get Little Butt in and out of the car an extra time when I would have to take my son into the school because he's not quite ready to just go himself.

I cried tears of joy. Really, I did. You guys don't realize what a relief this is to me.  With the snowy roads that aren't plowed worth a crap, and having to drag a sleepy, cold two year old everywhere, my life will now be so much better and easier and better, and did I say easier?  :D :D :D :D Oh yeah, and less painful too!

And in other great news, Gwen got a clean bill of health from the doctor. We are thinking her feeling 'off' is caused by stress and low blood pressure, which she is treated for.  That is a huge relief and weight off of our minds.

So now that the family is (maybe) finally getting healthier, we can move on to have a good summer.  I am going to be busy getting Mr. Insane ready for Kindergarten and writing my books - I have decided that I am completely insane.  I am writing the last three books at the same time.  I wrote chapter one of all three books and then onto chapter 2 of all three books and so on.  Oh, and I am also still writing that book with my daughter.  Did I mention that I am completely insane?  I do believe I did above and have many other times. :)

I am also starting a new program to try to get healthy.  I will tell you more about it when I get everything finalized, but I must say that the change I have seen in my college friend who is helping me get involved in this, is amazing.  I think she is down 121 pounds now and is feeling great. Her whole family is much healthier and that is exactly what I am hoping for my family too.  Stay tuned for details!!!

Overall things are going good now...thank goodness. I'd hate to have to bore you with my complaining again. ;)

Until Next Time...Please, please, please, enjoy the good times to the fullest!

COMPLAINING ABOUT A BAD DAY, WHY YES, I WILL

I had two kids at the doctor today. And of course the day I have to be out and about a lot, it is supposed to be 95 degrees, which means I will be getting sick. Runs to the doctor, the lab, the store for prescriptions and then to pick Gwen up from work means I will probably NOT be enjoying dinner tonight. Then this evening, we will be babysitting the neighbor kids again so I will have aching hips, an upset and hurting stomach, and a very annoyed temperament.  Oh joy!  The good news - This will be the last night we have to watch the neighbor kids.  It seems my kids overheard us talking about not doing it anymore and they told the neighbor kids who told their grandparents and woo hoo, we are free again!

I was kind of hoping that getting out of babysitting would be a punishment for my older two children who volunteered me, but hey, it's too hot to hold a grudge right now. I'm sure someday, somewhere, somehow I will punish them for their bad deed. hehe. But until then I will be trying to keep cool.

We never should have complained about winter lasting so long, because now summer is here early.  Casper, WY in the mid nineties in early June...yep we are being punished. And rightly so, I will never complain about long winters again...maybe...probably not...ah hell, I'll complain, but then I will suffer. At this point, I really don't care. I'm just trying to get through this day without hurling. So, a note to my kids - if you need to go anywhere or be picked up from anywhere tomorrow, you're on your own.  When it's hot, I stay inside so I can survive. Period. End of Story.

You may be wondering what is wrong with my two who were at the doctor. Well Miss Crazy has developed a sinus infection and sores on her throat (no strep though) thanks to the nasty coughing crud we had.  And Gwen went in for testing to see why she is feeling a bit off. They are testing for diabetes, thyroid, hemoglobin and a few other things.  Hopefully it is just a normal cycle of stuff for the end of her major growth.

Until Next Time...I just felt like complaining today.  I have had some pretty good days here recently with the release of my new book and stuff so I figured if I have a bad day thrown in here and there it's okay to complain.  It's okay for you too. Sometimes bad days are just plain hard to take. Let it all out and be happy again!!!

MY WEEK IN A NUTSHELL - 10 STEPS TO INSANITY

Okay, so I have a favor to ask. If you have bought one of my books, please leave a review somewhere - on your blog, on goodreads, on amazon, anywhere they will let you.  If you haven't bought it (I understand money can be tight) but would still be interested in reviewing it, I am willing to provide 10 PDF copies to people if they will review it on their blog (and any other site that will let them without having purchased it there).  If you are interested, please let me know at my email. To find out more about my books go here.  I only want my romances reviewed (I have two) I will warn that they are said to be sweet (romance) and spicy (sex). They are by no means erotica, but they do have their fair share of sex.  Thank you all so much!  Now on with the fun.

10 STEPS TO INSANITY

1. My 6 year old is driving me nuts.  She will not behave, she is relentless in teasing her siblings, no matter what punishment I dole out, she is driving me mad. So I send her to the neighbor who has a little girl she likes to play with. She behaves there. :/

2. My 5 year old boy has been hanging around girls too much.  He has turned into a complete cry baby whiny butt. I have got to get him out of this stage quickly - he  starts school in a couple of months!!!

3. My pain has been through the roof because of my wonderful coughing fits.

4. My two year old has also become a whiny butt.  If she doesn't get what she wants, she freaks out and can cry for an hour. If you finally offer her what she wants, she changes her mind and wants something different. (We don't give in, but sometimes when we misunderstand what she wants and finally offer her the right thing, she changes her mind.)

5. Allergies are going to kill us, all of us, dead as can be. They need to go away and leave us alone.

6. Thanks to my older daughters we are babysitting the neighbor boys five hours a night, five nights a week and I really don't want to.  I was almost in tears by the time they left the last time. I hate babysitting for one and for two when you get both of them together with both of mine, they don't know how to behave, or be quiet, or stay outside or.... yeah. I am thinking that since the teens accepted the job for me, I might have to make them go over and break the news that we can only do it for this one more week and then they will have to find someone else.

7. I had a release party for my newest novel. It was fun and we are seeing a smattering of results, but only time will tell if it was worth the work it took.

8. The hubs and I are still working on a top secret project (and hell no, it is not another damn kid).

9. I discovered that I hate hate hate marketing my book.  I'm so tired of it. This is something you don't get immediate results from usually so I will be doing it for years to come until I build my fan base. What happened to my patience....oh I covered that in another blog didn't I. ;). I guess it is a good thing I didn't follow my degree to a career (PR- business) Ah crap! I did follow it in the end. Only this time I added writing to the mix.

10. It's hot outside, the kids are driving me nuts, except for my writing, I'm bored out of my mind. Yep, sounds like a typical summer week to me!

Until Next Time...TGIF  We all need a break from a crazy week. But then my weeks lately run from Friday to Friday so I don't get a break. Sigh.....Enjoy the weekend anyway. :D

SUMMERTIME FRIENDS

I was looking forward to having the two elementary school kids out of the house, playing outside for the summer, and then...they won't go outside! They don't want to be outside without anyone to play with. Um, these are the kids who can think up the most amazing games to play together inside - so why not outside? 

The bad news is, their friends don't live here anymore. So I had to resort to making them go outside if they wanted special snacks or computer time. And what do they do? Walk around beside the porch  and sit on the steps. :/  It is like the fresh air dampens their imagination or some stupid thing like that. 

Well now for the good news.  We found out the other day that their friends are coming to visit their dad and grandparents for 2-4 weeks. I have never beens so happy to hear that trouble making kids are coming back to the neighborhood!  WOO HOO  my kids are finally going to play outside all day! Another bit of good news is that the neighbor kids are much better behaved now that they live with just their mom so maybe I won't have to work to undo any damage done this summer.  At this point, I don't care as long as my kids go outside and enjoy their vacation!

Another good bit of news is that we will be babysitting them for about five hours a night a few nights a week and will get a bit of extra money coming in to cover meals and snacks for them. Extra money is always good right?  And did I say I'm happy about my kids going outside to play without having to bribe them and listen to them whine all day?  

Gwen works all day, The Sophomore can take care of herself, the littles will be outside so that leaves me with Little Butt to cuddle while I write my next great masterpiece...umm I mean Romance Novel, erotica short story or blog.  ;)

Until Next Time...Sometimes, in this day and age, it seems you have to force kids to be kids and enjoy their free time. When I was a kid, you practically had to tie me down to get me to stay inside during the summer and I lived in Southern Nevada where the temps often topped 110!  But then again, I didn't have a computer, tablet, mp3, xbox, playstation etc.  

WE ARE HAVING A PARTY! We are celebrating the release of my latest novel - Alaskan Ambush.

Join us at http://www.facebook.com/writerjjellis for giveaways, contests and sneak peeks at future books. We would love to have you stop by

KINDERGARTEN - MY KIDS ARE DROPPING LIKE FLIES ;)

Today I am happy. Today I am sad. Today I signed my son, my one and only boy, up for Kindergarten. :'( 

We usually do online enrollment here in this open district but I forgot. Then I had them send me the paperwork, then  it got lost, then I called and asked them to send it again, then they never returned my call. So, we trudged across town and filled out the paperwork.  The good news?  It's an easy thing to do. The bad news? The school we wanted him to go to is full so he will be going alone, without his sister. This is the one thing that I was afraid of, he is a shy boy and doesn't like people very much and now he won't have his sister there to back him up...yet.

We signed him up for a different school relatively close to our house and put him on the waiting list for the one his sister goes to. 

We thought about transferring his sister to the school he is going to, but their second grade is full.  Not only is this a pain in the ass because they will be receiving two totally different educations, but now I have to drive to two different schools and I HATE DRIVING KIDS TO SCHOOL DAMN IT!!!!!. I love school busses. ;)

He can be bussed, but I would have to drive him to the nearest bus hub which is about as far away as his school is.  So there goes that idea.

So here is what we know:

 Mr. Insane will be going to school A but is on the waiting list for school B

Miss Crazy will be going to school B but is on the waiting list for school A

One way or the other the kids will be going to the same school eventually!!!! 

And this is important not only because I want older sister to help younger brother to acclimate  but because both schools start at and end at the exact same time so one will always be left waiting.  So annoying! 

I need to put all of this aside and focus on the fact that my baby boy is GOING TO SCHOOL FOR THE FIRST TIME SOON!!! Oh my, it is one of those mommy moments that brings tears to the eyes, especially since he is my only boy. I will stop the proud tears from The Senior's graduation just in time for the proud tears for Mr. Insane going to Kindergarten to start.  My head is going to be stuffy a lot this year. :/

We have so much to do. Make sure he knows his ABC's properly and his first 15 numbers and make sure he can write his name and know his address and phone number.  Dang!  This will be a busy but fun summer I think.  Come August I will only have one child still at home, it will be bittersweet. I will get to have alone time with my last baby, which will be great, but I'm going to miss my son. We've had some great times together the last five years!

Until Next Time...Do not take things for granted when it comes to your kids..  Children  hit milestone after milestone so quickly that we blink and they are grown up, married and have kids of their own. (It seems like just yesterday The senior was starting Kindergarten and now she's graduating!) 

Also, if your kids go to an open school district, if you can't run away screaming, do not ever miss the open registration days or you may be spending your whole life driving your kids to different schools, which when they are involved in activities, is such a pain in the butt.  And bussing will be a nightmare too. On second thought....JUST RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!! ;)

MILESTONE - A HARD PILL TO SWALLOW (PLUS A BONUS POST!)

Today I will give you two posts for the price of one...Okay for the space of one since you aren't paying to read this. Post 1 is a normal mom's adventures with kids post and Post 2 is an article I wrote for my writer's website JJ Ellis, Romance Author that delves into the mind of a writer. I have two other articles on that site too if you want to check them out (Courage was the first and Imperfections was the second)

POST 1
Okay, so I am big about milestones right?  I talk about them a lot (remember when I was all emotional because my little man preferred more grown up kids shows to Mickey Mouse?)  Well, it seems we have hit another one.

Allergy season is upon us - hardcore and since most allergy medications are over the counter we spend a fortune on them every couple of weeks.  The little one is doing well on zyrtec so she has her own bottle of liquid children's zyrtec and the only antihistamine that doesn't turn Mr. Insane into...well, Mr. Insane times 100 is Claritin so he and Miss Crazy have a bottle of liquid children's Claritin to share.  Then The Freshman decided she was tired of refusing her medicine and wanted to feel better so she needed something to take. (Zyrtec turns her into a crazy woman too). My pocket book started to ache along with my heart in watching my kids suffer.


So, The hubs and I came up with a plan.  The Claritin pills (age 6 and up) are tiny so why not see if Miss Crazy can take them. We get those at his work in bulk for cheap!. So Miss Crazy was given a try on her very first pill.  Could she swallow it? Would our experimental work?  YES!!! My baby girl is no longer a baby girl.  She is a big girl.  She can take pill forms of medicine. She is growing up, I am feeling old, this is an exciting day, I am feeling old, what a cool milestone, I am feeling old...yeah, you get the picture.  Once again this is one of those bittersweet milestones.  (I'm not even going to think about the fact that in 22 days I will be the mother of a high school graduate, and in 26 days the mother of a high school sophomore, a second grader and a kindergartner.)

So now I am happy/sad and my pocketbook is thrilled.  We can buy 400 pills really cheap for The Freshman and Miss Crazy to share and a small bottle of medicine will last Mr. Insane a long time as does the medicine we get for Little Butt.  See, there are advantages to your kids growing up!!!  Rejoice in it :)

Until Next Time...ENJOY LIFE :) There are a lot of benefits to our kids growing up and to us getting older. Embrace it or you might just drive yourself crazy. I have had to learn that lesson the hard way but I finally did. Yes, I get a bit teary eyed at milestones, but I no longer dwell on them to distraction.  There is too much fun to be had, too much life to live to dwell on how old my kids and I are getting.

POST 2

A few weeks after I published my first book, Virgin Voyage, I came to a realization that really stung, but in a way made so much sense. The story I had practically lived, and loved like a child, would never bring me reading pleasure like it did others.

In the first few weeks after publication I truly can not tell you how many times I read the book. I had this urge to see if it was a pleasurable, enjoyable read. I wanted to enjoy it (or hate it) the same way a stranger who purchased it would.

There were short periods of time where I could blank my world out and get caught up in Mari and Graham's, but my world always came crashing back in. (And I'm not talking about  my kids bother me or the phone ringing or someone knocking on the door)  You see, I can never not be the author of Virgin Voyage. I will always read it with a critical eye. 'Should I have done this, or written that, or left that out. Or will my readers enjoy this or that better.' Truthfully I just wanted to live in Mari
and Graham's finished world for fourteen chapters. I guess you could say that I was craving the ability to just be a reader to my book.

I couldn't help how I felt. I knew I shouldn't feel that way but I did. It almost felt like a betrayal to the characters. I created them, I loved them, I nurtured them,  I put them to paper and I enjoyed it thoroughly. But I couldn't experience them as they were meant to be enjoyed.

And then my first reviews started to come in. Not only on Amazon, but through people contacting me personally to tell me how much they loved the book. All of a sudden, everything I've mentioned above didn't seem to matter anymore. Friends, family and strangers were reading my book the way I wanted to, and I realized something, the whole reason I wrote the book in the first place was so people could live it, love it and enjoy it.  Low and behold, they actually were!!!!  I never betrayed Mari and Graham, I gave them a happy life, in more ways than one.

I know I will most likely have the same feelings about future books, but now I will know how to handle it - just sit back and wait, someone will enjoy it and tell me they did, and then
the world inside that book will be complete.

FIVE AND A HALF MONTHS OF WONDERFUL!

So, this weekend we hit a huge milestone here at Adventures of a Broken Housewife (and Mom).  We hit 10,000 page views.  When I started this blog five and a half months ago, I thought I might see ten or so a day which would put us at about 1,650 page views. Here we are with 10,000+ and I couldn't be happier.

This blog has literally been a life saver for me. If I hadn't started this I don't think I would be much more than a shell sitting on the couch hurting my life away. (Well, I still sit on the couch hurting a lot, but I am much happier and not feeling as sorry for myself most days) This blog also got me off my butt and working on my novels again.  These novels are things I loved dearly and couldn't imagine not finishing, but somehow I kept avoiding it. Fear, kids, boredom, shyness all kept me from acting on my true desires. 

So Five and a half months ago I was a wreck, not knowing what I wanted to do with my life (besides being a mom), and now I am a self confident blogger and published author.  My life has changed for the better in so many ways.  I have met a bunch of great people, I have become confident, I am finally living the life I want (except for the money which still hasn't come in, and may never come in) without having to go out into the world and worry about not being able to do a good job in my career because of my physical limitations. I feel emotionally, and intellectually fulfilled for the first time in many years.  I always felt fulfilled with love and family because, well, I have a big family, but never in those other two areas. 

So what is next for me?  Well, I'm not sure if it will ever work, but I am determined to make a living at this blogging and authoring stuff!  Most of the places that provide ad revenue for blogs have requirements that I don't meet so I hope to eventually meet them. And as for my books.  I know people love them, I just have to get the reviews coming in to Amazon! Hopefully that will all fall into place with all of the social media hell I put myself through every single day! I also want to expand the blog and my writer's site to include author and  blogger interviews!  That will hopefully not only benefit me with page views, but the writers with publicity.  After all I studied public relations in college so it's about time I used it right?!?! And after that, I just hope to have fun doing what I love to do.  I have many more novels in my future and probably a few non-fiction titles too. 

Thank you all so much for all of your support.  I am so glad you enjoy what I do and I hope that you keep coming back to see what the future holds. If there is something you want to see here on the blog, do not hesitate to let me know MY EMAIL. Also if you are interested in being interviewed please let me know and we can arrange something.  I will be thinking up questions over the next week and then will start the interviews the week after.

Until Next Time...It might take awhile, but you will eventually find something you love to do, whether it is a career, a hobby or just something to take your mind off of things.  Work hard, have fun and live your dreams.

LIFE LESSONS - FOR MY CHILDREN, FOR EVERYONE

Lately, I have been in a lot of pain and pretty much feeling more useless than normal.  I feel like I have been holed up in a little cocoon more than usual lately. So when I am pretty much home bound, what do you think my favorite part of the day is? Any guesses?  My favorite parts of the day are after everyone is safely at school and it is just Mr. Crazy, Little Butt and myself.

 If Mr. Crazy hasn't had a run in with one of his bossy older sisters yet that morning he is an absolute angel and when he isn't playing games on the computer, playing fighting games in real life or playing with one of his multitude of toys, he will sit by me and snuggle with me.  Sometimes he even begs me to let him use my computer so he can sit by me while I write.  He is such a good kid....until others come home and then he can turn into the devil (we figure, he has a new audience to get attention from so he works it, just not in a positive way.  He knows that if he tries to cuddle them like he does me they will shoo him away but if he acts up they give him exactly what he wants - attention.) 

Little Butt is a complete snuggle bug. She likes to sit with me and play games on the Kindle Fire or listen to music on YouTube. And best of all she likes to rock - a - bye in the rocking chair.  That is her favorite thing to do ever. And she will only do it with me if her oldest sister isn't home. (Hey, it's not my fault she started calling Little Butt up on her lap to avoid doing chores and now she is stuck with a mini shaddow who has turned into a typical two year old screamer if she doesn't get what she wants - I know it's mean to say, but I told her so...You can't complain about something your brought on yourself)

So what is my least favorite part of the day?  When all of the kids are here and the fighting and complaining starts.  OMG it drives me nuts.  They fight over the stupidest stuff.  God forbid one of them has slightly more chores than the other that day or gets slightly more food on their plate at dinner.  And the littler ones like to fight about personal space issues.  So I have come up with a list of stuff that my kids need to learn so we can all live in peace together and enjoy each other more when live goes to shit. (And they are good lessons for the future too.  You can't live life complaining, whining, waiting on others or being in control at all times, or your life is going to be awful.)

1. Do not complain about stuff your bring on yourself.  If something you do has consequences  live with it and learn to deal with it. If you created a monster, you need to work on taming it, not making it worse because it annoys you.

2. Life is not fair, not always even.  If you did more chores for a few years, that does not mean that for the next ten the others have to do more than you! It all evens out in the end and all you have to do is what your parents tell you to do and we will all be fine. (Kind of insulting that they would think I would favor one over the other. :/)

3. Worry about yourself! Just because you are

working on a project/homework/chore does not mean the other person has to do it too, at the same time.  They will get theirs done or the will get into trouble. Worry about getting your own stuff done whether the other person is working or not.  

4. You don't have to be in control all of the time. You are children, enjoy it.  Do not always think you have to be in charge of everything because eventually someone is going to get sick of it and call you on it. People don't like to be dominated all the time. If you try to take over someones life, they are going to fight back eventually and the relationship is going to suffer greatly.

So what brought this line of thought on?  With all of the bad stuff going on lately - Boston, West, TX, N. Korea etc., I feel the need to find a way to make our lives better so we can enjoy the good times more and deal with the bad times easier when they come.  We never know when a day will be our last or when someone we love will see their last day, and regrets are really hard to live with.

Until Next Time... Hold your loved ones tight and don't make life so difficult. Enjoy your time together because you don't have forever. <3 Our hearts go out to those affected by the tragedies in Massachusetts and Texas.

LET THE FIGHTS (AND LAUGHS) BEGIN!!!

First, some business to take care of. If you want easier access to my favorite blogs you can pick up my book Until Next Time...The Blogging Adventures of  a Broken Housewife. Just follow the link 6.99 for paperback and .99 cents on kindle

Second, if you have bought one of my books whether it be the blog book or my romance novel, please, when you are done with it head on over to Amazon and leave a review!  That is how us indie authors survive in this business. Thank you so much for your support! :)
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Do you have those moments when your kids do something and you just want to laugh but it just wouldn't be appropriate. You know the times when one does something to another that is 'bad' and instead of laughing you must punish the offender. Of course with five kids we have a lot of that.

Do I always succeed at not laughing? No! But I sure do try (I really do, just ask anyone) But you know, sometimes it is hard not to laugh. Really, really, really, really hard. Okay, so sometimes it's just damn impossible.

The first time a child cusses is a prime example. But some recent episodes in our house go like this :
Un named sibling: Wah wah whine whine tantrum tantrum
Little Butt: Sut up now!Un named sibling: You shut up
Little Butt: SUT UP!!!!!!!! Screech

I didn't laugh at this one, but I sure wanted to. The rule in our house is that we don't say shut up to each other because I am sick and tired of my kids being rude to each other. (and yes, both kids were properly reprimanded)
Another instance - and of course you know this has to be a really bad one that I couldn't help but let a laugh burst out the first time so it has become a regular problem.
Mr. Insane: Go away Little Butt.
Little Butt: Pay me brubber (play with me brother)
Mr. Insane: GO AWAY I DON'T WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU (yelled and getting right up in her face)
Little Butt: {{{smack!}}} right on his cheek.
Mr. Insane: Mom Little Butt hit me!
Little Butt: {{{smack}}} on the leg and run away
Mr. Insane: Tears and screeches Aaaah aaaaah she's hurting me.
Little Butt: Runs back to brubber and {{{smack}}} on the leg.
If we don't seperate them, they could do this over and over for hours. But of course we don't want Little Butt to develop a habit of hitting even if she just thinks it is a fun game that brubber is playing with her.


Okay, so the first time this happened, before I knew what was going on I laughed (hangs head in shame) But really, when people get angry and all up in your face don't you at least have a little bit of a fantasy of smacking them? And when someone has the 'balls' to do it, it kind of hits your funny bone (besides, a little girl making a big boy cry like a baby is just well....funny (Okay, maybe i'm warped, but I know some of you out there find it funny too!). You do know that once that first laugh comes out, the two year old is going to think it is okay and that you are encouraging him/her to play the new 'game' with their sibling.


Well shit. I've done it again, I've totally warped one of my children. (Okay, I know it would have happened anyway, but still.) So we do the calm talking to her thing, the no you don't hit thing, the redirection thing. It works...eventually. In the mean time my poor baby boy is traumatized by being beat up (she doesn't hit that hard really, but he is a drama queen and I love him very much) by his baby sister. Alright, alright he probably isn't really traumatized because he just likes the attention, but still, I don't want him thinking that I enjoy watching his little sister get back at him for all of the sibling torture he puts her through. (Shut up! Don't even say it!) At least he knows that he isn't allowed to hit his baby sister right?


Okay so now that we've got a handle on that problem (I think, otherwise they are going to end up beating the shit out of each other by the time they are 7 and 10) we can move on to the next one. Hopefully it is a lighthearted as this one because I hate it when those occasional serious problems crop up.
Until Next Time...When you have one of those parent moments where you say to yourself 'shit, I shouldn't have done that because now my kid is going to be a no good delinquent', don't stress yourself over it so much. It is fixable! You just have to patient, calm and consistent. And in the meantime, enjoy the laugh at the expense of your children because goodness knows they will be getting many at your expense through the years. ;)

APRIL (SNOW) SHOWERS

You know, sometimes I wonder why in the heck we moved to Wyoming  9 years ago.  (See my blog We Be Hicks) On April 6th is was exactly 9 years since we pulled up in front of our new home 505 miles from our old one. When it is summer and the temps are in the high seventies and low eighties I am loving my life here (i.e. I'm not getting physically sick because of the heat). When I walk outside in October and I don't sweat and I actually breathe in cool, clean, fresh air, yeah those are the times I love it.  But when I woke up this morning and checked the weather I was like "why the f#$% did I move to this godforsaken place? Why? Why? Why? :'(  You see, the weather forecast says snow today and tomorrow - winter storm warning. This in and of itself is not unusual. It happens, usually this time of year it melts quickly and the roads stay clear because we've had a few days in a row of sixty degree temps.  So what did it say today that made me react so differently?  13-16 inches of flippin' snow!!!  What the heck, we rarely get that much snow in one time during the middle of winter!!!! Why in April are we getting a foot of flippin snow when my kids have finally started to get outside and leave me the hell alone to get to go outside and play a bit?

And when I read that we were getting strong winds with it, I almost cried some more.  I hate the wind. I've always hated the wind. I will never like the wind. I was almost crushed by a shed when I was a kid because the wind picked it up and brought it towards me (then thankfully changed direction and blew it back). And what happens when you mix wind and snow - blizzard like conditions. And then I remembered that the hubs has these two days off so at least I wouldn't have to drive in that shiz alone. But still people, come on, it is April and I want spring.

The only good thing I can see coming out of this is that maybe it will tramp the allergens back down for a few days and my poor family can get a break. Maybe. Little Butt and The Senior have both been sick from all of the blasted weather changes and allergens and wind. We need a break here right?!?!

So, we went to the store and stocked up on everything we might need to last us through a possibly big storm and now we are just waiting for it to start. I'm sure the kids will have to go to school tomorrow even if there is a foot of snow on the ground and blizzard like conditions (my kids don't need visibility to cross a somewhat major street to get to the bus stop!) You see, if our district has too many inclement weather days the football players would have to miss the private football camp they are sent to every year and God forbid that would happen. Who cares if parents and students aren't safe certainly not the Natrona County School District #1!!! Sports always must come before safety and academics right?  Wow, I've been kinda sitting on that piece of info for years and it feels

good to shout it out from the roof tops!!! (or the blog tops).

So, what is my point in today's babble?  I really don't have one.  I just wanted to write about things that have bugged me recently so I thought since it was all related to the weather, I would give it a go. :)

Until Next Time...????? Enjoy the good weather when you've got it?  Yeah, that's it.  I'll have something more thought provoking next time.  <3 and love to you all!