BROTHERS, SISTERS, BEST FRIENDS

No matter how much my kids drive me nuts there are times when I just get this overwhelming feeling of love (Eh, maybe it's just PMS - but i'll take it).  For the last few weeks, during the day the three little ones are like a cute little train following each other everywhere Miss Crazy is in the lead, Mr. Insane is next and the Little Butt is the cutest Caboose you've ever seen.  CHOO CHOO and this time does get loud, sometimes the train is chugging along an sometimes it is full boar racing down the tracks.

My favorite times though are when they are all sitting on the loveseat playing quietly together.  The older two are on the outside and the baby is smack dab in the middle.  They play pretend, they listen to music on the kindle, the snuggle - Yes, my kids love to snuggle each other and watching them just absolutely completely warms my heart.

Just the other day, they were playing princesses and bad guys and then Little Butt wanted the kindle so they started listening to music and she was laying there with her head on brother's lap and big sister was rubbing her leg.  I was almost in tears, but I didn't want them to notice so I kept the wet little buggers at bay. Then they decided to get up and run through the house in an imitation of a bullet train. That was fun except the headache I had throbbed even more.  I did my mom duty and asked them to calm down for a while until my pain pills took effect.  They kinda did...NOT. They kept running and I kept threatening and finally just about the time my headache went away they sat down and started to play quietly and watch an episode of Good Luck Charlie together on youtube.  Ahhhh bliss (even though it was about a half hour too late)  And then I heard the first screech and then a scream and then various versions of get off of me, don't do that, get away.

I usually ignore it at first and see if it resolves itself, but this time it didn't and it kept getting louder.  When I finally look over hair is being pulled, legs and arms are flying, claws are out and I'm having to get The Sophomore to help me separate them.  This happens at least once (okay twice) a day.  But you know what? The sweet, quiet, snuggly, choo choo times are all worth it.  My two oldest kids hate each other and their little siblings, but the little ones truly do love each other. They are friends and I get the feeling that they always will be.

Until Next Time...Your kids aren't always going to grow up to be friends, I'm sad to say. But when it seems that it just might happen, enjoy it, foster it and let them know that there is no better friend than a sibling. I still haven't figured out how to get my oldest two to stop being so selfish when it comes to their siblings, but when I do figure it out, you can bet I will be writing about it. :)

NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS
No new news on the health front, but if you want a copy of the book I wrote that has some of my blogs and some new commentary in it, now is the time to get it.  FREE ON KINDLE UNTIL THE 7TH!!!!! http://www.amazon.com/Until-Next-Time-ebook/dp/B00BRA7SK2/ref=sr_1_3_title_1_kin?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1373040334&sr=1-3

LIFE LESSONS - FOR MY CHILDREN, FOR EVERYONE

Lately, I have been in a lot of pain and pretty much feeling more useless than normal.  I feel like I have been holed up in a little cocoon more than usual lately. So when I am pretty much home bound, what do you think my favorite part of the day is? Any guesses?  My favorite parts of the day are after everyone is safely at school and it is just Mr. Crazy, Little Butt and myself.

 If Mr. Crazy hasn't had a run in with one of his bossy older sisters yet that morning he is an absolute angel and when he isn't playing games on the computer, playing fighting games in real life or playing with one of his multitude of toys, he will sit by me and snuggle with me.  Sometimes he even begs me to let him use my computer so he can sit by me while I write.  He is such a good kid....until others come home and then he can turn into the devil (we figure, he has a new audience to get attention from so he works it, just not in a positive way.  He knows that if he tries to cuddle them like he does me they will shoo him away but if he acts up they give him exactly what he wants - attention.) 

Little Butt is a complete snuggle bug. She likes to sit with me and play games on the Kindle Fire or listen to music on YouTube. And best of all she likes to rock - a - bye in the rocking chair.  That is her favorite thing to do ever. And she will only do it with me if her oldest sister isn't home. (Hey, it's not my fault she started calling Little Butt up on her lap to avoid doing chores and now she is stuck with a mini shaddow who has turned into a typical two year old screamer if she doesn't get what she wants - I know it's mean to say, but I told her so...You can't complain about something your brought on yourself)

So what is my least favorite part of the day?  When all of the kids are here and the fighting and complaining starts.  OMG it drives me nuts.  They fight over the stupidest stuff.  God forbid one of them has slightly more chores than the other that day or gets slightly more food on their plate at dinner.  And the littler ones like to fight about personal space issues.  So I have come up with a list of stuff that my kids need to learn so we can all live in peace together and enjoy each other more when live goes to shit. (And they are good lessons for the future too.  You can't live life complaining, whining, waiting on others or being in control at all times, or your life is going to be awful.)

1. Do not complain about stuff your bring on yourself.  If something you do has consequences  live with it and learn to deal with it. If you created a monster, you need to work on taming it, not making it worse because it annoys you.

2. Life is not fair, not always even.  If you did more chores for a few years, that does not mean that for the next ten the others have to do more than you! It all evens out in the end and all you have to do is what your parents tell you to do and we will all be fine. (Kind of insulting that they would think I would favor one over the other. :/)

3. Worry about yourself! Just because you are

working on a project/homework/chore does not mean the other person has to do it too, at the same time.  They will get theirs done or the will get into trouble. Worry about getting your own stuff done whether the other person is working or not.  

4. You don't have to be in control all of the time. You are children, enjoy it.  Do not always think you have to be in charge of everything because eventually someone is going to get sick of it and call you on it. People don't like to be dominated all the time. If you try to take over someones life, they are going to fight back eventually and the relationship is going to suffer greatly.

So what brought this line of thought on?  With all of the bad stuff going on lately - Boston, West, TX, N. Korea etc., I feel the need to find a way to make our lives better so we can enjoy the good times more and deal with the bad times easier when they come.  We never know when a day will be our last or when someone we love will see their last day, and regrets are really hard to live with.

Until Next Time... Hold your loved ones tight and don't make life so difficult. Enjoy your time together because you don't have forever. <3 Our hearts go out to those affected by the tragedies in Massachusetts and Texas.

LET THE FIGHTS (AND LAUGHS) BEGIN!!!

First, some business to take care of. If you want easier access to my favorite blogs you can pick up my book Until Next Time...The Blogging Adventures of  a Broken Housewife. Just follow the link 6.99 for paperback and .99 cents on kindle

Second, if you have bought one of my books whether it be the blog book or my romance novel, please, when you are done with it head on over to Amazon and leave a review!  That is how us indie authors survive in this business. Thank you so much for your support! :)
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Do you have those moments when your kids do something and you just want to laugh but it just wouldn't be appropriate. You know the times when one does something to another that is 'bad' and instead of laughing you must punish the offender. Of course with five kids we have a lot of that.

Do I always succeed at not laughing? No! But I sure do try (I really do, just ask anyone) But you know, sometimes it is hard not to laugh. Really, really, really, really hard. Okay, so sometimes it's just damn impossible.

The first time a child cusses is a prime example. But some recent episodes in our house go like this :
Un named sibling: Wah wah whine whine tantrum tantrum
Little Butt: Sut up now!Un named sibling: You shut up
Little Butt: SUT UP!!!!!!!! Screech

I didn't laugh at this one, but I sure wanted to. The rule in our house is that we don't say shut up to each other because I am sick and tired of my kids being rude to each other. (and yes, both kids were properly reprimanded)
Another instance - and of course you know this has to be a really bad one that I couldn't help but let a laugh burst out the first time so it has become a regular problem.
Mr. Insane: Go away Little Butt.
Little Butt: Pay me brubber (play with me brother)
Mr. Insane: GO AWAY I DON'T WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU (yelled and getting right up in her face)
Little Butt: {{{smack!}}} right on his cheek.
Mr. Insane: Mom Little Butt hit me!
Little Butt: {{{smack}}} on the leg and run away
Mr. Insane: Tears and screeches Aaaah aaaaah she's hurting me.
Little Butt: Runs back to brubber and {{{smack}}} on the leg.
If we don't seperate them, they could do this over and over for hours. But of course we don't want Little Butt to develop a habit of hitting even if she just thinks it is a fun game that brubber is playing with her.


Okay, so the first time this happened, before I knew what was going on I laughed (hangs head in shame) But really, when people get angry and all up in your face don't you at least have a little bit of a fantasy of smacking them? And when someone has the 'balls' to do it, it kind of hits your funny bone (besides, a little girl making a big boy cry like a baby is just well....funny (Okay, maybe i'm warped, but I know some of you out there find it funny too!). You do know that once that first laugh comes out, the two year old is going to think it is okay and that you are encouraging him/her to play the new 'game' with their sibling.


Well shit. I've done it again, I've totally warped one of my children. (Okay, I know it would have happened anyway, but still.) So we do the calm talking to her thing, the no you don't hit thing, the redirection thing. It works...eventually. In the mean time my poor baby boy is traumatized by being beat up (she doesn't hit that hard really, but he is a drama queen and I love him very much) by his baby sister. Alright, alright he probably isn't really traumatized because he just likes the attention, but still, I don't want him thinking that I enjoy watching his little sister get back at him for all of the sibling torture he puts her through. (Shut up! Don't even say it!) At least he knows that he isn't allowed to hit his baby sister right?


Okay so now that we've got a handle on that problem (I think, otherwise they are going to end up beating the shit out of each other by the time they are 7 and 10) we can move on to the next one. Hopefully it is a lighthearted as this one because I hate it when those occasional serious problems crop up.
Until Next Time...When you have one of those parent moments where you say to yourself 'shit, I shouldn't have done that because now my kid is going to be a no good delinquent', don't stress yourself over it so much. It is fixable! You just have to patient, calm and consistent. And in the meantime, enjoy the laugh at the expense of your children because goodness knows they will be getting many at your expense through the years. ;)

LOVE RELATIONSHIPS

I talked to a few people online who have physical limitations about the struggles they go through in their love relationships and here is what we came up with to make a 'troubled' relationship stronger.

So, we all know the ups and downs of love relationships right? Trust, love, desire, honesty it is all about working hard to keep things going. When you factor a physical limitation into all of that, what do you get? Well, you get a lot more hard work!

The spouse who isn't physically limited is bound to, at some point, feel like they are carrying way to much of the burden. The physically limited spouse is bound to feel guilty for not being able to do an equal amount of the physical aspects of having a family and they might also feel unappreciated for doing the stuff that they are able to do. Caring for the emotional well being of a household can sometimes be just as tiring as doing all of the driving, or carrying of kids, or fixing of things around the house.

So what happens when you put a person who feels like they do everything together with a person who feels guilty, but overworked (and always in pain) at the same time? FIREWORKS!!! Things can get rough. But if your relationship is strong and you work hard, you can overcome a lot.  When you add in the whole intimacy issue, when one partner has limitations on what they can do physically, well you have to work even harder.

I think the key thing in a relationship like this is UNDERSTANDING.  They physically able partner must absolutely understand what their partner is going through.  If they ever doubt their partner's physical capabilities that is going to ruin things right there. Understand and accept that they can not help you drive across the state, pull up carpet, carry the baby to the car. And for goodness sake  do not compare the physically limited partner to others.  Just because friend A has bad knees/hips/feet/back/eyes too and can do some physical stuff doesn't mean your partner can.  They may have different problems or different symptoms.

As for the physically limited partner, they need to realize that their significant other might need a bit more emotional support when they take over the physical duties of the house. An extra (or 100) 'good job!' can go a long way.  An extra hour break from doing the physical stuff (play on game console, taking a walk, watching TV, reading....) can also do wonders.  Don't be so hard on them if they don't finish a task right away.

Most of all, if there is only one person in the house bringing in income because of the physical limitations, do not hold that against the non working person.  There are plenty of things they do in  life to earn their share of the money brought home.  Money is one of the top problem causers in a relationship as it is, so don't make it worse in an already challenged relationship.

What is a good way to keep things going good in a challenged relationship?  Time alone is great.  Take a weekly, or even monthly date ALONE together.  If you have no one to babysit kids (if you have any) then by all means just let the kids play (or sleep) while you sit/lay alone in your bedroom and talk.  Talking is great for a relationship.

As for my relationship, I wouldn't say it's been easy because it hasn't, but we've done something right because in June we will be celebrating nineteen years of marriage and in October we will have been together 21 years!

Until next time...no matter what the challenges of your relationship are, if you want it to work then make it work. Relationships aren't easy, they are all about hard work!