THE MEAN MOM

We cancelled Halloween (and most likely Thanksgiving & Christmas) in our house last night. I was at my wit's end and I wasn't sure what else to do. Mr. Insane and Miss Crazy were both being little buttheads. We tried everything - grounding, timeouts, taking away favorite things and nothing was working. It was like someone had slipped my kids some 'bad' juice.  They haven't played with the neighbor brats in days, but then again they did see one of them outside yesterday so maybe the brattiness rubbed off from across the street???  Whatever the case was, we had to go to drastic measures.

Of course it isn't going to work right away because they think "oh, if I be good for an hour, mom will give it back." Haha not this time!!! I am FED UP.  They will not be getting Halloween back unless they can prove to me they deserve it back, and a final decision will not be made until dinner time on October 31st.  This is my favorite time of year and my three favorite holidays and I somehow don't think they will be much fun this year. :( Although, I will still decorate and stuff, that will make it worse when no Santa presents show up, I think.  Yes, I am a mean mom, but I demand respect and at least somewhat decent behavior from my kids (I know all kids misbehave, but there has to be a limit)

But I am prepared to stick by my decision because I really have had it with the back talking and such. Their neighborhood friends get away with it so they think they can.  Ummmm no. If I would have talked to my parents like that I would have gotten my ass whipped and I never would have done it again. So, here is hoping that this experiment in parenting works.  - You keep misbehaving, you don't get to go trick or treating and gorge yourself on candy. Keep it up even longer and we will have hot dogs and mac and cheese for Thanksgiving dinner. Keep it up after that and there will be no "Santa Visit", no watching Christmas cartoons every night and we will have potato stroganoff for Christmas dinner. (The two kids in question here hate that dish!!!)

Until Next Time...Stick to your guns! If you give in, the lesson will never be learned. I will miss these holidays if we have to give them up, but hopefully my kids will learn a lesson and become better people for it.

TIME MANAGEMENT - MANAGING WORK AND FAMILY

The countdown has begun. The kids have been shushed and put on notice.  Mom is almost done with her next novel and she has a deadline so nobody better get in her way...except a tummy bug that has now hit everyone. The little boy who only wants me to help him with his homework. The baby girl who won't always go to others to get someone to type Barney or Talking Cat Sylvester into the Kindle. Miss Crazy who needs hugs throughout the day/evening (She's the middle child and suffers from middle child syndrome so how can I say no!). The husband who gets frisky once all the kids are finally in bed and really deserves some attention - after all he has to sit through listening to my love scenes (and others) over and over and over...

This is what I have been
working so hard on!
See note at bottom of page

So, the family has been put on notice to leave mom alone while she finishes writing, typing and pre editing. But you know what they say about the best laid plans. That is why I have given myself a three day window for publication. I have to have the book up and running by November first-third, period end of story.  I think I will be becoming an expert in multi-tasking.

Is it possible to write while being sick?  Yep! I did it the other day. You should have seen me, I would write a paragraph (for those who don't know, I hand write and can do that laying down) doze for about ten minutes, head to the bathroom, write a paragraph, doze for ten minutes, head to the bathroom etc. TASK COMPLETE! I actually got a lot of writing done!

Is it possible to write while helping the boy do his homework?  Yep!  I have successfully written a paragraph here or there while singing the ABC's. I have successfully run spell check while pointing to each repeated letter on his mixed up letter sheet. I somehow was able to type up a whole scene while listening to him read and correcting his mistakes when he made them.  Of course it helps that at five, his books are easy and I have them memorized after the first time he reads them. And I can always manage a ton of hugs and high fives EVERY TIME he gets something right!

Is it possible to write while typing on the kindle?  Well no, not technically. But it only takes a minute or two and I think I can spare that to hear my baby doll singing along with Barney (blech, I hate that dinosaur but love her singing) or laughing her Little Butt off at the antics of Sylvester the talking cat.  It keeps me going, makes me happy and lets her have a little bit of fun so I can get some work done in between typing words into the kindle!

Is it possible to write while hugging Miss Crazy?  Well no, not really. But dang her hugs are so sweet and it gives me a nice little break to remind me that I do have great kids who love me.

Is it possible to write while giving attention to The Hubs. No, not at all, but then again...I guess it could be classified as research. You know, my characters are ONLY famous for hugging and snuggling a lot :p

Until Next Time...It's hard but not impossible to show your kids love and do what needs to be done in your life at the same time.  You can do it!  If I, with the messed up mommy brain, can do it, so can you!

NOTE: Sorry the pic isn't great but for some reason when I upload it to blogger it washes it out. It looks better on my facebook page - stop on over and checkit out http://www.facebook.com/writerjjellis

SICK DAY AND OTHER STUFF!!!

They share everything
Including tummy bugs :(

Guess how many people left my house today?  Two.  The Hubs and Miss Crazy. Miss Crazy was sick Saturday and yep, the boy was throwing up all day yesterday, the baby all evening and although they feel better and aren't technically sick anymore, they are worn out.  Myself, Gwen and the Sophomore have tummy aches but haven't gotten 'sick' yet. Gwen has an earache and The Sophomore has a sore throat.  Allergies and the stomach flu have taken over our house.  What is with all of the tummy bugs this year.  This is my third in about three months!  It's crazy.  Of course my stomach is pretty ruined form the supplements I was taking and it could be another six months before I am back to normal but still, enough is enough!  I hate it when my tummy is sick!

And I hate watching my poor kiddos are retching. :(. I stayed home with Mr. Insane because he wanted his mommy (aww <3) while the rest of the family went out to eat.  Well before their dinner could even get there, Little Butt got sick so they packed up the food and came home. What a fun Sunday evening it was...haha (You know I'm just kidding right?) Although, the snuggles were so sweet!

At least the Hubs, Gwen and The Sophomore got some great volunteering in  yesterday before the puke hit the fan. (um sorry about that, have been wanting to say that for years). They all headed out to Sam's Club to get support for Operation Shoebox - care packages for the troops. It was a great experience for the younger ones.  Gwen was able to see the joy of helping people while getting credit for a class assignment in volunteerism and The Sophomore was able to get out and get some socialization (9 times out of ten when I mention a family activity, she isn't there because it is hard for her, like going out to dinner above, she was with me and Mr. Insane) This was good for her though. She lasted longer than everyone thought AND she had a good time!

Oh hey, do you want an update about Mr. Insane and his fall festival happenings?  He did so much better this year.  He still had trouble with the face painting and ended up not doing it. He got a hand tattoo instead. But he did a lot of other activities and even won some vampire teeth and made some sketch it things. The festivities weren't as good this year, but they were still fun.  The little's had a blast which is the best thing. And I got to eat nachos which I don't get to eat at home often because I'm pretty much the only one who likes nacho cheese. All in all, I think my little boy will be just fine. He truly is coming out of his shell!

Until Next Time...When your kiddos are sick snuggle them close. Yeah, you will probably get sick, but the snuggles and loves are so worth it!

COMING OUT OF HIS SHELL

Shy smile :)

My son is a shy one. He always has been. At first he was painfully shy and then he started coming around a bit. And by a bit, I mean just a tiny tiny bit. Last year his sister's school had a fall festival (Miss Crazy) and literally all he did was eat and walk through one of the rooms (with me) that had interesting things to see/touch/smell etc.  You could see he wanted to go to the bouncy house, but there were just too many other kids there.  His sister got her face painted but he refused. We spent a lot of time in the hallway just sitting there waiting for everyone else to have fun. I didn't mind really because I have dealt with shyness my whole life whether it is with one of my kids or myself.

I am wondering if this year will be different and if it will be majorly different or just a little bit.  This year, the boy is part of the school. This is his turf and he loves going there everyday. He has become a bit more brave, he will actually play with other kids and go into the tubes a bit at McDonalds on the very rare occasion we go. So this year we could have a very fun, very busy fall festival.  I hope we do.

I love seeing him come out of his shell bit by bit. He used to walk out of the school looking like he was all alone in this world and scared to death.  The last couple of times I've picked him up he has come out like he owns the place.  Yesterday he got one of his weather related bloody noses, which usually means a freak out and I often wondered how he would handle it at school.  Well he basically calmly walked to the office and let the kind ladies take care of him (The nurse was gone). I'm so proud of him. But then again I'm proud of him even if he doesn't participate in things with other kids and even if he freaks out sometimes. But oh the feeling of watching him do things he was afraid to do before is just amazing. It's really like a high that can't be beat.

Storm damage -
like this all over town :(

I know he says he is excited about the fall festival and the bouncy house (if they have one this year). It's all stuff I've heard before.  But this year there is a good chance it could be true. I guess we'll find out this afternoon, after school when all of us pack up in the car (except the Sophomore - those situations are just a bit too much for her sometimes) and head out to the school for Dinner, games, and a pumpkin patch.  It's really starting to feel like fall around here. The leaves are changing and it is beautiful out (But MANY of the trees in town were damaged by the recent snow storm so there is a sadness over the area). Here is hoping that this will be the first of great fall activities for my little man. Whom I hope someday grows into a
confident, handsome big man...but I hope he keeps just a smidge of that shyness, an inkling of that innocence.

Until Next Time...Watching our kids grow and change is amazing and we need to remember to step back and enjoy it.  Don't just let it pass by or we might miss something important.

SNUGGLES, LOVES AND BOOBIES

I was able to do something last night that I haven't done in a long, long time. I was able to snuggle my baby girl. We used to co-sleep but then my poor hips just couldn't take it anymore so I moved her in with two of her siblings. Last night my baby doll woke up crying and wanted me so Gwen brought her in. Her poor nose was all stuffy and I think her throat was dry to the point of being a bit sore. (It's allergy season in our house!) As soon as she came into my arms and I laid her next to me she snuggled right up and it felt so good. My baby doll hasn't been too lovey with me since I weaned her. (Yeah, if you remember those blogs, she wasn't too happy about it.) She hasn't done this snuggle thing to me in so so long. I was overjoyed and I wrapped my arms around her. We dozed together for hours. She kept waking up crying, saying ouch ouch but then my rubs would calm her down and she would doze again.  Then at one point I woke up startled and when I opened my eyes she was staring at me smiling.  She moved her head over and put it on my chest. "I miss mommy's boobies," she said and fell quickly asleep. She slept peacefully for hours after that. (I can hardly walk now, but it was worth it I think. :) )

So, the point of this story...Yeah, I was all thinking my baby doll was starting to love me again but it turns out that she never loved me, she only loved my boobies. ;)  hehe. Actually because she loves my nourishing body parts, I know for sure that I am loved by her. It might only be for that small window of time, before kids start to 'hate' their parents, but I'll take it.

I can't believe how much I adore this little girl. The pregnancy was rough...no, beyond rough. It nearly destroyed me. I didn't want another baby and I didn't think I could handle another baby and I was sick from day one to the final day.  I was terrified of another c-section and had plans to trick our local hospital into letting me have another VBAC which was against their policy.  And then I got even sicker...pre eclampsia and those plans went down the tube so I was faced with a surgery that terrified me and that I didn't want.  But as soon as the anesthesiologist adjusted my pillow beneath my neck properly and I felt like I could breathe again, I just suddenly knew. I knew everything would be okay. I would love this baby, I would be able to handle this baby and this baby would always be welcome in our lives.

I'm glad she is so attached to her siblings. After all, they will hopefully be around a lot longer than I will. But I am also glad that she knows who her mama is but realizes that I'm not the only one in the world who loves her.  This baby will always be so incredibly loved because she has a group of people surrounding her that are family, that will make sure she is on the right track.  Do you think my baby doll is lucky?  I sure do! The joys of being the baby of the family...<3

Until Next Time...Love is shown in many ways. You just have to be receptive to what isn't always obvious to be able to see it. (Yep. I know my baby loves me when she talks about my boobies. :/)

BEAUTIFUL DAY OUT? WHAT'S YOUR OPINION?

It is such a beautiful fall day here in Casper, WY. This weather we've had lately is typical of fall, hot, cold, in between. The leaves are starting to change too which I think is one of the most beautiful things in the world. We woke up to a beautiful landscape this morning. Would you like to see it?  I hope so because I'm going to  show you anyway! LOL

Got tired shoveling the front porch

My daughter's car!

Miss Crazy and Mr. Insane in their new winter jackets

Cars, homes and trees covered

Can't see into the side yard because of our barrier of snow!

Poor tree losing branches all night and snow falling off to shake the house!

The makeshift walkway to the street

The plows actually came through early

I wish I had someone to shovel my walk like my neighbor does!

I'm cold are you?

Kids playing with the neighbor!

My poor car!  She is buried!

My neighbor's back steps!

I don't think we will be grilling tonight! ;)

Well, we got a snow day today as you can probably tell.  The school district that hates calling snow days didn't have a choice because the whole town is under a code red - no unnecessary travel.  But the Hubs still had to go to work because you know, shopping at a bulk store is a necessity when the roads are nearly impassible. haha! So I am settled in to a nice day with ALL of the kids. Hey, it's Friday and now we have a three day weekend!  Let's have some fun...or do chores...or both!

FUNNY PICTURE CAPTION - TRIBUTE TO SIBLINGS!

I Just had to do a Funny Picture Caption blog tribute to siblings because I think they are very important people in your life! Just look at these five and tell me that someday their relationship will mean nothing. I don't think you can.  I know I sure can't. Some might try, but they will fail. <3 If you have a sibling in your life, why  not give them a call today just to say hi and I love you. :D

AUTUMN - A SEASON OF BEAUTY

Fall is definitely here.  You know, that time of year where the temperature bounces up and down and up and down and the sun shines bright, the wind howls, the snow/sleet flies occasionally  (at least here in WY).  We have been having those crisp cool evenings and mornings for a while now. My kids have been wearing sweaters/light jackets to school off and on for a few weeks.

But heloooooo we are about to get a taste of what this fall thing is all about. Yesterday was near 80 and then the storms moved in and by ten p.m. we were in the forties. Today we aren't supposed to get over 55 with rain moving in and then we will have freezing rain overnight. Then tomorrow we aren't supposed to get above 43 with a frozen mix.  And then over the next few days we are supposed to climb back into the seventies. Yep, fall is here!!!

We will have the heater on one day and the a/c the next and EVERYONE will be getting sick.  Yep, weather changes bring on the sickies whether it be colds or allergies. I am so looking forward to that...NOT!!! But just like every year, we will manage.

Now here is the kicker...FALL IS MY FAVORITE SEASON! I bet you thought I hate fall didn't ya? All of the weather changes, the sickies etc. is enough to drive a mom insane right! But no, I love it.  I hate the heat so when I get that nice gentle (at first) cool down. And those nice cool breezes on still warm days I am happy as a clam<<< Where did that saying come from anyway?  And now that I don't live in the deserts of Southern Nevada (HOME) I get to experience the wonder and beauty of leaves changing colors. It's starting already, just a bit here and there. But after this cold snap, those colors are going to be popping out everywhere and Casper is going to be a beauty lover's paradise. And then pretty soon the leaves will drop and the permanent cold will settle in and then the first real snow will fall and my beautiful Autumn will be over. But then there is spring to look forward to...those first gentle (at first) warm afternoons. And those nice warm breezes...Ah!

Until Next Time...What is your favorite season? And why?
Leave a comment or drop me a note!

THINGS THAT GO MISSING IN THE NIGHT...OR DAYTIME...OR ANYTIME

I know at one point I had a blog about dryers eating stuff or some such and this is NOT another one of those.  This is about things that go missing that are so important (at least in our own minds) that when you realize they are gone you are in the middle of that whole slowmotion Nooooooooooooooo scene.  I've had two of those recently.  You see first, my Kindle Fire decided it was going to overheat and the screen was going to shatter.  And well, you see, that simple device is what makes me tick these days. I do reviews for books over on my author blog and yeah, I can't get any work done if I can't read the books to review them.  So my daughter offers me the use of her 'normal' kindle and guess what???? IT WENT MISSING. Well crap that's not good and once again I find myself living in slowmotion world. Fast forward a few days>>>>>>>> I finished chapters 1-5 of my next novel and am ready to start typing up chapter 6, which is handwritten (that's how I roll if you didn't know) in a green spiral bound notebook that is sitting next to my couch in a storage tub. So I lean over to reach for the notebook and noooooooooooooooo IT'S GONE. I freak out, we all scatter and start roaming through the house in search of a chapter that was so hard to write. I don't want to write it again, I can't write it again - it's just one of those difficult pains in the ass kind of chapters. Well, after much discussion (and constant searching) come to find out Miss Crazy took it but can't remember where she put it.  She swears she put it on the counter but obviously it's not on the counter so where do we go from there. An hour plus spent looking and it is nowhere to be found. We even went over to the neighbor's house to make sure my kids didn't give it to their kids (haha that would be quite a discovery for an 8 year old, finding a scene from
a romance novel :p). No luck.  So we give up for the night and Miss Crazy is prepared to take her punishment (which I hadn't decided on yet).
I am devastated.  I just do NOT want to have to redo that chapter again.  I just want to curl up and cry. But I don't, I go about getting ready for bed. When I pull some clean clothes out of the clothes basket guess what falls out. A green spiral bound notebook.  Did I not ask my kids to check under the clean clothes??? I did, but they insist I only asked them to look under the ones that were waiting to be folded.  But if they would have been listening they would have heard me say and in the baskets. Sigh...I think the obsession with video games we've been experiencing in this house has gone a bit too far and it is keeping us from focusing on the real issues in life...but that is a story for another time.
Until Next Time...When you lose something, the best thing to do is keep a cool head.  It's gotta be there somewhere right...except for the times we've found it in the trashcan outside the night before trash pickup. But don't focus on that.  Just know that it will turn up...sooner or later. <3

I'M A BAD PARENT BECAUSE -- SHE DIDN'T BRUSH HER HAIR!!!

So, Miss Crazy wakes up in the morning and puts her hair up in a ponytail and when I go over the checklist (potty, hair, teeth, etc.) she says she has brushed her hair and although I know she lied, I'm not going to fight her over it (and oh boy would it ever be a huge fight!).  You see, my philosophy on it is that kids need to learn things for themselves.  If I am constantly hovering and making them do stuff then what do they learn from that? Sometimes life lessons are hard and I think that we have to learn them that way  to REALLY LEARN. You know, the one where the child refuses to take a bath...until their friends (and strangers) get on their case for smelling bad.  Do I fight it and put up with screaming, crying, physically hurting myself trying to get them into the tub or do I let them not take a bath for a few days and let them learn the consequences of not bathing?  In our house we are mean parents and we let them learn for themselves because truthfully, kids don't like to listen to their parents.  Sometimes moms and dads need to learn to CHOOSE THEIR BATTLES! Everything doesn't have to be a battle in life and you will be much happier if you know when to fight and when not to.

So, back to Miss Crazy, I figure she will either get teased/asked about it by teachers or the school nurse or the knots will get so bad that it will take us an hour and a lot of tears to get them out.  Well from what I understand, a teacher may have noticed and was going to talk to the school nurse, so guess who let me brush her hair this morning??? Yep!  Lesson learned?  Probably not yet, but we will get there. (if worst comes to worst I will threaten to cut it and that would throw things in my favor)

Ever present ponytail!

In the meantime I hope I don't get calls from the school/visits from DFS for not properly taking care of my child.  I mean it is easy enough to explain.  I'm old school.  I am not a helicopter parent and I will never be one.

FYI if you didn't know a helicopter parent is: A parent who is overly involved in the life of his or her child. Helicopter parent is a colloquial, early 21st-century term for a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions.

Until Next Time...No matter what your parenting style is, just remember that some things are just not worth fighting over.  If your kid doesn't want to do something and it isn't detrimental to their health...let them learn the consequences. They will be stronger and more independent in the long run.  Remember the key words there are DETRIMENTAL TO THEIR HEALTH.

COMMON COURTESY

ANOTHER LIFE LESSON POST BECAUSE YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO LEARN THEM!

By the title you are probably thinking 'uh oh, she's going to get on her soapbox again'. But dang it, I'm really tired of people not having common courtesy anymore.  I think this world would be a better place if people would just be considerate of each other.

This is a life lesson that I make sure to teach my children. And it had worked until about a year ago when one of them was convinced that they were the only one in our family worth the air we breathe. After that, common courtesy has all but disappeared in this house. :( And it is spilling over into his/her outside life too. The others still have it at school and in public which warms my heart. (I know the whole sibling rivalry thing erases a lot of it at home normally, but this is EXTREME) It kind of burns my butt to witness this. I know where losing consideration for others leads, I have witnessed it first hand. I really don't want to see one of my children end up alone, miserable and bitter, you know, when not even family will come around because you have alienated everyone. If you are lucky you have a spouse who is the same and you can be miserable together, but that still is no way to live life when PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU DEARLY are missing you but can't stand to be around you.

You go out into public and be loud, obnoxious and take up space when others are waiting for it, you feel entitled to everything you want....which reminds me. We had another RESTAURANT INCIDENT!!! the other day that I just have to tell you about. It was sunday, which in this town means a busy breakfast time for local restaurants.  There will be a wait and you'd better get used to it because that is just the way it is.  All morning our favorite restaurant had had about a 25 minute wait (I overheard the manager). We waited our twenty-five minutes and sat down to have a great family
breakfast together.  The table next to ours had eight adults with an average age of fifty sitting there.  OMG these people were ten times, yes literally ten times, louder than my kids ever are. The waitresses literally could not hear to get orders taken.  And this group, who had waited an average of twenty-five minutes, sat there for goodness knows how long after their food was long gone and their dishes cleared away. These people, who another patron told us had complained about the wait, were making others wait while they sat there and yacked loudly, disturbing everyone in the place. Finally, one lady, sitting in the corner of their group started to get really antsy and she ended up putting on her jacket to try to give them the hint.  Finally it did and they left. The noise level dropped by over 3/4 and everyone in the room was relieved!  Please don't let me end up like that when I'm older.  I don't want to feel entitled to anything.  I want to earn every last damn thing I have.  And please don't let one (or any) of my children end up like that. I would be sad, mortified and embarrassed.

Until Next Time...Don't believe everything you hear. Have your own mind and find out for yourself how life should be. How YOU want it to be, not how some interfering buffon wants it to be for you. Because if someone is interfering, they probably have only their best interest at heart not yours. <3

ARE THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE FREE?

So, we went out for dinner last night and low and behold the kids were well behaved!!!  Gasp!!!  But that isn't what this post is about. This post is about people who are always trying to get something for free...no, something is the wrong word because free things are good sometimes...the right word would be everything.  This post is about people who are always trying to get everything for free.

The people we were sitting in front of at the restaurant were these kind of people.  And I think I've seen them around town pulling their scam before.  First there was one small thing wrong with one of the kids orders. Then it took too long to get the replacement out (not long at all, I was there watching). Then there was something else wrong and so on and so forth.  They complained so much, and so rudely that the manager comped their meal.  Okay, shit happens and meals get comped in restaurants but dang, do you have to be such a rude bi^%$ about it?

So things had seemed to calm down and they were eating away and complaining and bitching about everything (not just dinner, but life in general) Okay, by this point they were really getting on The Hubs' nerves.  He worked in restaurants for many years and knew this scam inside out.  Even my kids were getting annoyed at their loud bitching! And oh my did I feel sorry for the kids that were with them (two adult women). Those poor kids must have been mortified, but I can see them pulling the same thing in a few years unfortunately.

So as soon as the manager got busy again and the waitress came to check on them, they had another complaint (or twenty, who's counting). They asked for the manager again.  By this time, The Hubs was about to jump out of his seat and beat the woman down! Okay not beat her, but give her a tongue lashing she wouldn't soon forget.  These people ended up getting coupons for five free meals!!! (there were five total in the party).

Okay, it's one thing if you truly have bad service, bad food, bad experience to expect to have it made right, but come on they had absolutely nothing wrong with their food, or the service and they were so flippin rude about everything! One day at the same restaurant they had a cook go home in the middle of an order so ours took extra long to come out.  We mentioned it POLITELY to a member of management and they gave us 20 percent off.  Perfect! Everyone was satisfied and nobody made a scene.

How much do you want to bet when that 'family' goes out to eat there again, if there is a different management team on duty they will pull the same trick even with their free meal coupons?  Yep, I can see it happening. I kinda hope I'm not there though because if I am, I might just have to say something. And at this point in my life I could care less what people think of me and boy oh boy would I have fun.

Until Next Time...free things are good, but scamming to get them is just wrong. If you have a legitimate complaint then by all means say something, but do it politely and if you still aren't satisfied be firm but not rude and then if you still aren't satisfied, take it higher or leave the situation and don't go back!

ANOTHER NIGHT IN THE ER

So, guess where I spent my evening/night?  Yep, back in the ER.  But this time it was me who was in need of  medical assistance.  I went on a date with The Hubs after he got off work.  I had the best Tuna sandwich I had ever had and I started feeling like I had to go potty really bad and I kept losing my breath as I drove home.  I thought maybe it was something I ate, or perhaps I was coming down with a tummy bug.  I made it home but by then I was in full on panic mode and I just felt awful.  I went potty and discovered I had diarrhea and figured that was the end of it and I would ride out the tummy bug/food poisoning and be fine.  But then I kept having these episodes of shortness of breath and then my left shoulder started to hurt and I felt intense pressure near my ribs.

I figured it was time to go in.  After all, I am an overweight 43 year old and I figured maybe my lack of exercise had finally caught up with me. They took me right in and the first thing they did was an EKG to rule out heart attack.  The EKG came back good with no heart attack, but the doctor was concerned by my heart rate I guess so they took me back and started to run tests.  First was blood tests, then came a chest x-ray.  And of course the wait for results.  The doctor came in and listened to everything. And he said because of the elevated heart rate and the trouble breathing he wanted to do a CT Scan to rule out a blood clot in my lungs. The pain started to move from my shoulder down to my back/shoulder blade area and was lasting instead of intermittent so I called the nurse in and told him and he said he would tell the doctor.  I finally got really uncomfortable  and sat forward and belched twice. Ummm I felt better for about twenty minutes and then it started all over again. I was thinking that maybe I should try to delay the CT Scan to see if maybe it was just gas.  But then I was whisked away  halfway back from my trip to the bathroom and I ended up getting the scan anyway.  They took me back to my room and we waited for the results.  It appears that my right rib cage is out of whack or something but they weren't concerned about that and I was low on magnesium so they started an IV with fluids and magnesium. I burped a couple of more times and my heartrate dropped and my pain went away.

About an hour or so later the doctor came in and said the x rays and CT scan showed very healthy heart/lungs/gall bladder etc. And when I told him about the burping episodes he asked for the second time if I suffered from GERD.  When I told him I did he said that is what he thought it was because I was very healthy otherwise.  When I first went in  I didn't' feel gassy or acidy, but now I can feel that pressure and gurgly acid.  I now have a script for medicine to control the GERD and am downing gas pills like crazy to try to get rid of some of the pressure.  I hate that it pushes up on my lungs and heart and makes me feel like this but at least I know I'm not having a heart attack and I will start exercising even if it kills my hips and I become even less mobile because I need to keep my heart and lungs healthy so I will be around to see Little Butt turn 18 etc.

WHICH REMINDS ME - HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY GWENDOLYNN!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT NO MATTER WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY, I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH AND EVEN IF I DID GROW UP POOR AND DON'T 'FIT IN' WITH THE REST OF THE FAMILY, I STILL KNOW YOU BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE AND I KNOW  THAT IF YOU LET GO OF THE BAD THAT HAS HAPPENED OVER THE LAST YEAR AND LISTEN TO WHAT YOU KNOW IS TRUE IN YOUR HEART, THAT YOU WILL BE THE MOST AWESOME WOMAN, TEACHER, MOTHER, WIFE OF ANYONE I HAVE EVER MET!  KEEP YOUR HEAD UP KIDDO, YOU CAN DO THIS! <3

ULTRASOUNDS AND PEE :/

And no, it is not for me.  I am not going to become a mom of 6 thank you very much!

Shall we talk about pee for a bit? The ultrasound was for Little Butt. As most of you  know, she had the UTI a few weeks ago and any kid under age 5 who gets one needs an ultrasound to rule out structural problems in their system.  So early this morning (because they can't eat or drink for 4 hours beforehand) We loaded her up and took her to the radiologist office and got her ultrasound.

My super shy baby girl was taken in with me and put on a table. She doesn't like strangers at all so she clung to my hand.  The tech was awesome though she let her feel the wand that was used to 'take the pictures' and she talked soothingly to her throughout. My shy baby that used to cry around strangers just laid there and did as the tech asked without me having to help her or ask her.  I was so proud!

My pee holder when she was in ER for infection

The ultrasound was quick and easy and we were out of there in no time. She got a juice box, a sucker and a 3D butterfly sticker.  She was one happy girl!!! LOL Now we wait for the results.  My gut tells me that everything is developed properly because now I know why she got the infection.  I never thought about it before, but this little girl holds her pee way too long.  She isn't afraid of the toilet but sometimes refuses to go on it as is usual with potty training. She hates peeing in diapers for the most part but sometimes will only use the diaper (pull up actually) so she just holds it until she absolutely has to go.  She can literally wake up with a dry diaper and not go for hours, but it isn't because she is dehydrated, because when she finally does go, she floods everything!!!

I don't know how to get her to stop! If I force her onto the toilet she becomes afraid of it and I can't force her to go in her diaper. Running water doesn't even help.  And all of my kids have been champion pee holders for absolutely no reason. I literally had 3 month olds wake up dry and finally flood the diaper three hours later...I truly think it is genetic though because I was like that my whole life (until after kid 3) I would literally hold it for up to ten hours (Sometimes without really realizing it) and the only time I ever had infections was after I had the kids. So, if the tests come back okay I will have to get together with the doctor and see if he knows ways to get her to stop holding it or ways to prevent infections if I can't. I am grateful that she likes cranberry juice so maybe that will be a solution.

My son has already had two accidents at school because he doesn't realize he is holding it in the morning and won't go. I literally have to force him to go before school every day. I guess it is safe to say that my family is pee challenged. LOL

Until Next Time...Don't hold your pee! It's not good for you. :p