THE MEAN MOM

We cancelled Halloween (and most likely Thanksgiving & Christmas) in our house last night. I was at my wit's end and I wasn't sure what else to do. Mr. Insane and Miss Crazy were both being little buttheads. We tried everything - grounding, timeouts, taking away favorite things and nothing was working. It was like someone had slipped my kids some 'bad' juice.  They haven't played with the neighbor brats in days, but then again they did see one of them outside yesterday so maybe the brattiness rubbed off from across the street???  Whatever the case was, we had to go to drastic measures.

Of course it isn't going to work right away because they think "oh, if I be good for an hour, mom will give it back." Haha not this time!!! I am FED UP.  They will not be getting Halloween back unless they can prove to me they deserve it back, and a final decision will not be made until dinner time on October 31st.  This is my favorite time of year and my three favorite holidays and I somehow don't think they will be much fun this year. :( Although, I will still decorate and stuff, that will make it worse when no Santa presents show up, I think.  Yes, I am a mean mom, but I demand respect and at least somewhat decent behavior from my kids (I know all kids misbehave, but there has to be a limit)

But I am prepared to stick by my decision because I really have had it with the back talking and such. Their neighborhood friends get away with it so they think they can.  Ummmm no. If I would have talked to my parents like that I would have gotten my ass whipped and I never would have done it again. So, here is hoping that this experiment in parenting works.  - You keep misbehaving, you don't get to go trick or treating and gorge yourself on candy. Keep it up even longer and we will have hot dogs and mac and cheese for Thanksgiving dinner. Keep it up after that and there will be no "Santa Visit", no watching Christmas cartoons every night and we will have potato stroganoff for Christmas dinner. (The two kids in question here hate that dish!!!)

Until Next Time...Stick to your guns! If you give in, the lesson will never be learned. I will miss these holidays if we have to give them up, but hopefully my kids will learn a lesson and become better people for it.

AN ANNIVERSARY - OF SORTS

Okay so since I forgot that Thursday was a 'special' day until after my blog was published I guess I'll have to write about it today. 21 years ago last Thursday (October 17) was the day that not only The Hubs and I had our first official date, but also  the day we got together for good.

If I remember correctly my friends were being sneaky little buggers.  We were going to go to the football game and they wanted to invite the hubs. I wanted them to, but I didn't tell them that.  I made it seem like I didn't want to be around him. Truthfully I never thought he would come because he wasn't really into the school sports scene.  The friends even told him that it was a BIG group thing.  Yeah, they lied it was one of our friend couples and us.  But in the end it all worked out because not only was that our first date, it was the beginning of something much bigger.

The thing I remember most about the date...definitely not the game! I truthfully remember absolutely nothing about the game (I think we won). I remember a lot about the hubs though because we really got to know each other well that night. It was like a scene out of a romance novel - We only had eyes for each other :). That was also the night we had our first kiss and our second and our third...Okay nevermind about that.

And guess how much sleep I got that night?  Yep, none. Get your damn dirty minds out of the gutter, it's not for the reason you think. I was just so excited to have a boyfriend that I couldn't sleep. Sheesh, I'm not that kind of girl... ;). Anywhoo, after he left for the night I tried to sleep, I really did. But it just wouldn't come.  This was going to be my first truly serious boyfriend and I was excited darn it!

And we have been together ever since.  I wonder if we had known some of the stuff we were going to face in the future, if we would have stayed together?  I mean come on, five kids is a lot of work...and noise...and sorrow...and joy...and pain...and love. A destroyed business isn't fun and it was a huge test of our relationship.  An early midlife crisis for me wasn't a piece of cake either. Many moves, leaving family, interfering family, death, birth, depression, autism, health issues...but then again, that is what marriage is all about right - to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live.

Until Next Time...Every once in a while, just sit there and remember that first date or that first kiss or the day you met. Memories are so sweet we can't afford NOT to visit the good ones sometimes

WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS -ER VISIT AND CAR REPAIR

Hey before we get started, could you hop on over to my friend's book blog and check out her review of book 1 in my series! It is an awesome review! (Warning her site can be adult only at times, but my review is NOT!  http://www.authorsajones.com/2013/08/review-virgin-voyage-by-jj-ellis.html

Now on with the show: Holy shizz monkeys!  The saying really is true, when it rains it pours -  and then it rains and pours some more. First off, my car broke down end of last week. It would try to start and then it would just putter out.  So we called the tow truck (79 dollars) and had it towed to our mechanic.  Tuesday we get a call from the mechanic saying it was ready and when I asked what was wrong he said: Fuel pump.  Well shizz all over again, that is an expensive repair and I knew that from previous experience.  So we go pick up my baby and the damage is.............640.22.  Crap!  Thank goodness for interest free for a year credit cards with a decent limit right???  But at least now my fuel pump should be okay for the rest of the vehicle's life (13 years old).  At least it darn site better be!!!!

And then on Friday I noticed Miss Crazy wasn't feeling top of the line and my son had a stuffy nose and so did Little Butt.  Well great, the first cold of the season brought home from school in the first week.  Lovely! Over the weekend Miss Crazy started talking about a sore throat and became a bit lethargic. Yep, she had a fever.  Oh fun!  I was thinking strep so I had plans to take her to the doctor first thing on Monday.  Her fever broke in a dramatic fashion on Sunday night and she woke up saying her throat was still sore but better and she felt fine. So, off to school with her.  When she arrived home, she was still fine but about two or three hours later, the fever was back and we started to see a rash spreading over her body.  Well, that's not good. A fever, sore throat and rash together can mean complications from strep.  So I was wondering how the HECK her fever had broken for almost 24 hours if she had strep.  So, off to the ER we went.

Now you understand I have five kids and they have all (except Little Butt) had strep at one time or another.  Never have they ever lost their fevers for even a moment and never have they ever broken out.  But the doctor in the ER told me that it isn't uncommon for that to happen.  Well shit!  I could have endangered my daughter because I didn't know... Yeah, the guilt lasted about five seconds because I truly didn't know.  Anywhoo, they offered her swallowable pills or liquid and she chose swallowable (I knew we would be changing to liquid at the pharmacy because I knew the pills would be too big but she felt like such a grown up that I couldn't say no)  but then the doctor turned back and asked if she would like one shot and she would be done.  Well as we all know, medicines can be tricky with little ones so yes, I convinced my child to get a big needle shoved in her hip.  I'm not ashamed.  They came in with two needles (oops).  They figured there would be too much medicine in one needle for her to tolerate so they broke it up. Okay cool.

She gets her shots and a popsicle and wanders the hall and stairs with daddy trying to walk off the pain and stiffness of the shot.  We head home and her fever is starting to break and the rash on her face is already looking better. She had to stay home from school for one day (I heard a lot of 'mommy my booty hurts' throughout the day) and is now back at school.  The rash on her face is gone, the rash on her trunk is barely visible and her throat isn't hurting at all anymore.  Phew!  Now we sit and wait...for the rest of the family to get it.  Poo Poo!

SIDE NOTE: My son's stuffy nose cleared up.  He brought a feather he found into the house and it seems he is allergic to feathers like his daddy is!

Until Next Time...There will always be moments when we learn something new and feel guilt because we didn't know it before but you can NOT Dwell on it! What's done is done and we can't change it, we can just
learn new things to carry us through to the next round of life!!!

BUSY WEEK/WEEKEND - RANDOM BITS AND PIECES :)

Well, today is the day!  Gwen starts college!!! I hardly believe I am old enough to have a college Freshman! But alas, there I was wishing her a good first day.  She was nervous but I know for sure she shouldn't be. She will do great!  School is her thing, she is good at it and she wants to spend her life being a teacher so I think she will be fine once she gets used to the freedom that college allows.  She is all set, she has her own car, her school, and her job. We couldn't be more proud.

We have had a sickie on our hands over the weekend. Miss Crazy had a high fever and a sore throat.  We were thinking strep, but the fever broke and she was running around and playing so we will sit tight for now and see if the fever comes back or if the sore throat persists. Don't you love school germs?  Especially when they come home the first week!!!! I am just glad that I don't have to send my sick kids to school and risk losing my job like some parents do.

Lil miss Little Butt is coming down with a cold but so far no fever thank goodness.  I'm just waiting though, waiting for it to spread through the house. :(

My car broke down the other day.  We aren't sure what happened to it yet, but I sure hope it isn't anything too expensive! On top of everything else, my wallet went missing.  I'm pretty sure I left it at the dentist's office on Thursday, but they say it isn't there.  I've checked everywhere else it could have been left. Now we have to tear the house apart to see if by some chance it isn't lost in the big bad world, but in our very own house.

I had my book release party the other day and it was really fun!  I hope some of you were able to join us.  We had contests and giveaways and sneak peeks at the next book.  I also had book 1 of the series set for free on amazon.  We had a great response and I even sold my first book overseas! I mean actually sold, not given away!!! And we actually had a bestseller rank to be proud of - click on the picture to see what it was!!! :)

I want to share a facebook post I made today because this means so much to me and kind of rejuvenated me after I had the depressing time after finishing my book. I hope you will check it out.

Have you ever had a review that made you cry? A review that reminded you why you became a writer? A review that let you know that you accomplished exactly what you set out to do with that particular story/book/article? This is one of those reviews. One that I will cherish forever! Could I please get some YES votes on it? Thanks!

http://www.amazon.com/review/R1QLHAP976O3E6/ref=cm_cr_dp_title?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B00EP01L2W&channel=detail-glance&nodeID=133140011&store=digital-text

Until Next Time...Don't fret when your oldest starts college (or gets married or has kids) because if they are at that milestone it means that you have done something wonderful.  You got them to where they are and they are alive!!! ;)

THE CUTE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU SMILE :D

I've got links for my books!!! They became available early! I'll post them at the bottom.

Did missing Sam and Abigail make me cry?

Today has been rough. My car broke down and we were out in the heat forever, which means I am now sick as heck.  Blah!!! Yesterday was rough too. I was having some sort of breakdown.  I am thinking it was based on writer's self doubt but I'm not sure.  You see, my book is done and available on Amazon early. So that means that this particular chapter (pun intended) of my life is over. I lived and breathed those characters for years and then especially over the last two months. It makes me sad :(  And then I found out that a 'friend' was lying about having read my books. Sigh...If you don't want to read them just say so, don't lead me on thinking that you are reading and enjoying them, right????

So I was in a horrible state yesterday. I was about ready to throw out the five or so chapters I already have written for Wild Waves and give up writing for good. I felt like I had been made a fool of and that I was a horrible writer etc. etc. etc. But I have a great group of online friends who supported me through it. Thanks ladies, you know who you are! I was still down all night, but one thing that could put a smile on my face was Little Butt.

You know how kids do the cutest damn things that just warm your heart?  Yeah, she does that a lot lately, but there was one instance yesterday that could actually almost make me laugh when I thought back on it after my meltdown.  We were at breakfast and there was a baby across the way from us (about 10 or 11 months old I would guess) Little Butt thinks all babies are hers. So she was sitting there yelling "hi baby, hi my baby" but she would not wave at the little girl.  She would turn red and look away. So what did she do?  She would pick up my hand and say she was waving at her baby. I have seen kids shy of waving and talking at all to strangers, but I haven't seen one that would be totally fine yakking away and then turn all shy when she was expected to wave. LOL. I spent breakfast waving at a stranger's baby and I'll tell you one thing, Little Butt is strong, my wrist still hurts!!!

It has been a rough couple of days but with the help of my sweet baby girl I have come through it just fine!

Until Next Time...Give little ones credit. Just because they are small and not worldly doesn't mean they can't totally enhance your life in a positive way when things are going wrong.

PAPERBACK OF STORMY SEAS BY JJ ELLIS: http://www.amazon.com/Stormy-Seas-Sunset-Destiny-Romance/dp/0615873111/ref=sr_1_11?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1377288379&sr=1-11&keywords=Stormy+Seas

KINDLE OF STORMY SEAS BY JJ ELLIS: http://www.amazon.com/Stormy-Sunset-Destiny-Romance-ebook/dp/B00EP01L2W/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1377288477&sr=1-1&keywords=Stormy+Seas

A HUG IS ALL I GET

First day of school for the boy!!! All I got was a hug.  I stopped him and his sister on the sidewalk outside the entry and asked if they were okay just going in and he said yeah and started to walk toward the doors.  "Um, can I get a hug," I asked.  "Oh yeah," he replied and they both hugged me and were gone to eat waffles for breakfast in the school lunchroom.  He is the one kid I figured would have a huge crying fit before I left him.  He is just so emotionally off since the episode with the Singulair and it may take years for him to get back to normal again. 

I wasn't sure how he would find his way to his classroom since on back to school night they went to a different classroom to meet the teachers (not sure which one he will get yet, won't know until end of the week).  I can only hope that either his sister was able to help him or the teachers would come to the playground (after breakfast) to pick the kids up. I didn't get a call saying that he was inconsolable from getting lost (school is so small, not sure if it is possible to get lost) so that is a good thing.  I leave here in about an hour and fifteen minutes to pick him up - early out day for Kindergarten today. I can't wait to see him and give him a big hug.  I miss him! And I realized that I had forgotten to warn his teachers about the whole singulair thing and ask them to watch for behavioral issues so we can know what needs to be corrected. So I guess I will be sending an email tonight and hope I get a good report. He is a good boy when he isn't around his siblings and I am hoping that he will be good at school and with other kids.  Because basically, his siblings are brats and he is overwhelmed by all of the estrogen.  Ah crap, now I wish there was a school in town with a male teacher...hmmm. He'll be okay right???

Right now, for the first time in years, it is just me and one of the kids.  I do not know what to do with myself!!!  Here is an example of our conversation after daddy left for work.

Conversation with Lily
Me: Hey Dee, do you want mommy to stop working and play a game with you?
Lily: No mama, me play by myself
Me: Are you sure, Mama wants to play.
Lily: No mama me play by myself.
Me: Want to rock a bye with me?
Lily: No mama, me do myself after I play school

Well, I know where I stand now don't I. My kids have always been independent so I might actually get work done during the day now.  Or maybe she will decided she wants to play after all.  Nah, I wouldn't count on it. ;)

After dropping the little's off at school, I took Gwen to get her drivers license.  Talk about nervous, it was crazy, nausea, shaking the whole nine yards.  That was me, not Gwen.  I was so damn nervous for her I could barely sit still.  But you know what?  She passed and now I have a licensed driver and a kindergartner in my hoard of kids.  Oh and a two year old who doesn't want to play with me.  Sigh...this parenting thing is so emotional. Can I cry yet?  Might not be a good idea until all the kids are tucked safely in their beds.  I hope I can wait that long!!!

Until Next Time...I've probably said this before, but enjoy those milestones no matter how much you want to cry, because someday they will be moving out and getting married and having kids of their own and you will wonder what happened to the years that just seem to slip away. 

KIDS PLAYING IN THE BACKYARD

When a young family goes shopping for a house many times you hear that they are looking for a large, safe backyard for their family to grow and play in.  I was the same way. That was a definite requirement, a decent sized back yard for the kids to play in.  When I was first starting out, we didn't have a yard in the condo we lived in but we always dreamed of one. Everyone else always sent their kids to the back yard to play. When we would take the kids to the grandparents house, if they wanted to play, they went to the back yard.

Fast forward to April 2004. We moved to Wyoming and had  an okay sized, fenced in back yard where our then 2 kids could play. We soon discovered that no one in our new neighborhood or town for that matter played in their backyards.  Every child in the neighborhood was in the front yard. We actually noticed that when we were there on vacation the year before and stopped in the town we would eventually move to.  But we didn't pay it much mind, thinking it was probably a fluke.

Fast forward to August 2008 when we moved to a new town, same state. I thought 'ah ha maybe it was just the town we lived in'  Nope everyone plays in the front yards here too. Trying to get my children to go into the fenced in back yard is like pulling teeth as they say.  I just don't understand the difference.  

And kids in the front yards aren't the only things we've witnessed here in the cowboy state.  Everyone does everything in the front yard - BBQ's, Family gatherings, Those nice evenings when you just want to sit outside and enjoy the weather. It is all done in the front yard, within the view of at least 8 neighbors.  A good thing about it is that it helps you get to know your neighbors and that is awesome, knowing that there are people so close if your family ever needs something.  But I am just so used to the whole backyard/privacy thing that it was/is very hard for me to adjust.

If my insane son (Mr. Insane) is running around screaming the new expletive the neighbor boys taught him, well then I don't want the whole neighborhood to see it. If my two year old decides she wants to follow her older siblings outside and she is wearing nothing (as she usually is these days :/) I don't want the whole neighborhood to have to deal with it.  (People here are also very weird about naked babies but that is a whole other story). If I decide to give the Hubs a quick kiss over the porch railing while he is grilling, well I don't need three neighbors saying awww.  (And it seems you can be a lot louder and more obnoxious in the privacy of the backyard.)

I remember some great times in the backyard when I was younger. It was so much fun. Eating great food and enjoying refreshing drink while hanging out with friends and family.  I even remember a few backyard birthday parties that were great fun. My big question is, why the difference.  In the winter I could see it sometimes if the snow drifts are too high in the back yard, but in the summer it still makes me wonder what is wrong with the back yard.  

Maybe because it is a smaller population here and it is generally safer so people don't insist on their kids being corralled in the back yard?  I mean this is the wild west and if anyone were to dare hurt a neighborhood kid there would be half the street with their guns drawn catching the person before they even got halfway out of the neighborhood, so I guess that could be it.  I just don't know though.  My neighborhood growing up in Nevada was the same way and yet if we played outside it was at a park or in the backyard.  

I'm thinking this is just one of those things I may never know the answer to and that's okay.  I will still be trying to get my kids to play in the backyard with the dog and they will still probably refuse but hey, at least I have a yard for the kids like I always wanted!!! :)

Until Next Time...Embrace cultural differences whether they are from state to state or country to country.  Everyone is different for a reason, life would be boring if everyone was the same.

PINCH ME I MUST BE DREAMING

My two oldest beauties and my only little man <3

Despite a horrendous headache, I've had one of the best days I've had in a long time.  First I got to sleep in a bit and then I took Gwen to the doctor where her heart was given a clean bill of health.  Talk about relieved!  And then we came home to a relaxing afternoon.

The two oldest played a new game that Gwen bought on the xbox (Hey, they took turns and got along for the first time in forever, what mom wouldn't be happy!)

I went into my room where it was comfortable (i.e. freezing cold!)  to write and I got a decent amount done before falling into a semi sleep.  It felt wonderful because I haven't really napped in a long time.

Then when I woke up we had one of our signature dishes for dinner. (Egg noodles w/gravy, salad and veggies) and the kids started chores.  They got a lot of the outside done (We have to be done by the 29th so we won't be fined) and the inside is looking somewhat decent - Is it time for a room re-arrange so I can feel the house is clean again?  Just might be! But shhhh don't tell the kids ;)  And if you have no idea what I am talking about, read this blog http://www.brokenwifeandmom.com/2012/11/clean-living-room-eh-who-needs-itme.html

Cheesy smiles and missing teeth :)

After chores, the older two were working on some top secret project together - I'm thinking it might have been a writing project which makes me proud! And then Gwen started giving Little Butt a piggy back ride and of course that means the other two littles had to have some too.  They all had such a great time but poor Gwen was exhausted!  I wish I could do that with the kids, but at least I have someone who is willing. :)

Once we determined that Gwen was done for, they settled down to play with her hair.  Poor girl had three different kids pulling on her head in three different ways so eventually it became a hair party.  One was working on Gwen, one on The Sophomore, and one on me.  I tell ya, my hair hasn't felt this smooth in a long time. :)

So now tempers are starting to flare and I'm sure my good day is about to end, but hey we had fun while
it lasted right???  I haven't seen much of this fun and camaraderie in my house lately so I will take it when I can get it and right now I'm the happiest mama in the world!

Always on the go and good for making everyone smile :)

Until Next time...Don't ever give up hope, things you think aren't possible anymore really can be!

IS IT TIME YET???

What time is it mama?
What the hell do you care, you can't tell time... Okay, so I don't actually say that, but hey it's what I feel like saying.  I was sitting here earlier thinking about how all of my kids have had an obsession with time, starting at about 4 years of age.  'What time is it mama' is a frequent question in this house and every time, through five kids, it drives me nuts! To them one o'clock is the same as 10 o'clock. But being the dutiful, good mama I am, I answer them.

After this initial stage of always asking what time it is, we then move on to things like 'Mama how long until we (Fill In The Blank). Well, if I tell them an hour they look at me like I've lost my ever loving mind. So we started to say two shows on TV (because most of their shows last 1/2 hour).  It's worked so far!  

The next stage?  Well it is when they are looking forward to something that is going to happen in an hour and they ask every five minutes if it is time yet because they have no idea of the concept of time passing. Even when I tell them as soon as such and such show is over, they still ask every ten minutes.

I've come to the conclusion that time passing is the bane of a mother's existence. Or at least this mother's.  What time is it, how long until..., is it time yet. I will probably hear that in my dreams, over and over again until I am dead.  And Little Butt hasn't even started that stage yet!  Mr.Insane is in the first/second stages and Miss Crazy is in the third although she seems to be able to incorporate all stages in one highly annoying conversation.

I could probably get  back at them when they are older.  About the time they turn seventeen  I can start asking. What time is it?  When are you leaving for college?  Is it time for you to go to college yet?  But no, I won't. Because I am the dutiful, good mama.

Until Next Time...When your kids ask stupid questions, just smile and answer.  But then again, you probably already knew that.

GERMS AND BUGS - AND WE THOUGHT OUR KIDS DIDN'T SHARE

Well we have reached that point again.  What point you may ask?  The point where Miss Crazy is at the age when life is all about lending, borrowing and sharing stuff with friends at school.  Now, I know we all tell our kids not to share drinks, brushes and other 'personal' things because of the possibilities of bugs and germs, but there are also the harmless things like Miss Crazy letting a friend wear her precious Hello Kitty ring until the last bell, or her friend lending her a bracelet until that same last bell - harmless stuff.

Now if you have a child that is perfect and does everything mom or dad says, I commend you for being a super parent.  But in my experience, THEY DO NOT LISTEN, especially about the 'personal' stuff. The senior came home with strep in third grade.  I asked her if she shared food or drink with anyone and she said no. I asked her again and she said no. Come to find out she and her best friend had swapped gum because they each didn't like the taste of the gum they had. SMDH.

I can't remember which kid it was, but one of them came home with lice. I asked them if they had shared a brush or hat with someone and they said no.  I asked again and they said no. Turns out they had swapped jackets with a friend and wore the hood.  (Although I am pretty sure this case of the nasty bug started elsewhere - here in Wyoming in the younger grades Jackets, hats and scarves are an absolute necessity and they are all kept in close proximity so those little suckers just jump on over to everyone) My point is, the little devils don't listen (kids and lice), they are sneaky little buggers that know every which way to get around the rules. ;)

Here are some of the excuses I've heard for blatantly not following the rules. But mom my hair was a mess and tangled.  I didn't want to look like a dork so I used  'so and so's' brush.  Or how about But mom, my head was cold and she had an extra hat in her locker. And then there is But mom I was so thirsty and my drink was gone so she shared hers. And of course being the smart ass I am my responses are - haven't you ever heard of using your fingers as a brush, well maybe next time you shouldn't lose your hat and haven't you ever heard of a water fountain.

But in the end, I have just kind of learned to go with the flow.  If something serious comes out, disease or bug wise, I will strictly enforce and punish for breaking the 'rules' but until then we just have to go with the flow. I can't be with my child 24/7 and I will never know everything they do when I'm not there.  But I now expect the occasional strep throat or lice outbreak or cold or stomach bug because it really is a part of life (x7 for our family :/) Remember, severe sore throat, a sore throat that doesn't go away quickly, or sore throat with a fever should always be looked at by a doctor!

Eventually the kids will develop their own sense of what is okay to share/borrow and that will be brought on by my constant nagging when they were younger. Although I know for girls, that special group of best friends doesn't seem to apply to the no share personal stuff rule because you know, they are immune. It doesn't matter if they are hacking up a lung, they are a best friend so it doesn't count. And the same applies to boyfriends (And if you are lucky you end up with a kid who thinks everything is gross and you don't have to go through any of this. Right?) Perhaps we should rejoice in the fact that our kids are actually sharing??? Or not. ;)

Until Next Time...As long as kids are allowed to roam free in public, whether at school, the mall, sports practices, dance lessons etc. they are going to come across some unsavory things and we as parents just kind of have to deal with it as it comes and keep reinforcing what is safe/safer/safest.  Most of them will get it eventually. Aside from reinforcing, just keep a box of lice treatment in the cabinet and the doctor's phone number in your phone and you are doing what needs to be done.