FUNNY PICTURE CAPTION PT 4

Haven't done one of these in a long time!  Here are some cute and funny pictures that I edited when I was in a lot of pain and had nothing better to do. (Before I took up writing again)

ENJOY!!!!

That's where my chapter 4 went!

Sisterly love - Too bad only one sister still has that love now :(

She was so fascinated with her feet there for awhile!

Love her look! She does that a lot.

Used to be her favorite meal!

Chocolate lover!!!

Like I said above - loves her feet  (and Ramen)

She's a little cookie thief!

Memories of the PAST :/

haha she hates headbands!

Sister was actually yelling, but hey. ;)

Actually I think it was kweem (ice cream)

Classic wake up!  

LET THE FIGHTS (AND LAUGHS) BEGIN!!!

First, some business to take care of. If you want easier access to my favorite blogs you can pick up my book Until Next Time...The Blogging Adventures of  a Broken Housewife. Just follow the link 6.99 for paperback and .99 cents on kindle

Second, if you have bought one of my books whether it be the blog book or my romance novel, please, when you are done with it head on over to Amazon and leave a review!  That is how us indie authors survive in this business. Thank you so much for your support! :)
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Do you have those moments when your kids do something and you just want to laugh but it just wouldn't be appropriate. You know the times when one does something to another that is 'bad' and instead of laughing you must punish the offender. Of course with five kids we have a lot of that.

Do I always succeed at not laughing? No! But I sure do try (I really do, just ask anyone) But you know, sometimes it is hard not to laugh. Really, really, really, really hard. Okay, so sometimes it's just damn impossible.

The first time a child cusses is a prime example. But some recent episodes in our house go like this :
Un named sibling: Wah wah whine whine tantrum tantrum
Little Butt: Sut up now!Un named sibling: You shut up
Little Butt: SUT UP!!!!!!!! Screech

I didn't laugh at this one, but I sure wanted to. The rule in our house is that we don't say shut up to each other because I am sick and tired of my kids being rude to each other. (and yes, both kids were properly reprimanded)
Another instance - and of course you know this has to be a really bad one that I couldn't help but let a laugh burst out the first time so it has become a regular problem.
Mr. Insane: Go away Little Butt.
Little Butt: Pay me brubber (play with me brother)
Mr. Insane: GO AWAY I DON'T WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU (yelled and getting right up in her face)
Little Butt: {{{smack!}}} right on his cheek.
Mr. Insane: Mom Little Butt hit me!
Little Butt: {{{smack}}} on the leg and run away
Mr. Insane: Tears and screeches Aaaah aaaaah she's hurting me.
Little Butt: Runs back to brubber and {{{smack}}} on the leg.
If we don't seperate them, they could do this over and over for hours. But of course we don't want Little Butt to develop a habit of hitting even if she just thinks it is a fun game that brubber is playing with her.


Okay, so the first time this happened, before I knew what was going on I laughed (hangs head in shame) But really, when people get angry and all up in your face don't you at least have a little bit of a fantasy of smacking them? And when someone has the 'balls' to do it, it kind of hits your funny bone (besides, a little girl making a big boy cry like a baby is just well....funny (Okay, maybe i'm warped, but I know some of you out there find it funny too!). You do know that once that first laugh comes out, the two year old is going to think it is okay and that you are encouraging him/her to play the new 'game' with their sibling.


Well shit. I've done it again, I've totally warped one of my children. (Okay, I know it would have happened anyway, but still.) So we do the calm talking to her thing, the no you don't hit thing, the redirection thing. It works...eventually. In the mean time my poor baby boy is traumatized by being beat up (she doesn't hit that hard really, but he is a drama queen and I love him very much) by his baby sister. Alright, alright he probably isn't really traumatized because he just likes the attention, but still, I don't want him thinking that I enjoy watching his little sister get back at him for all of the sibling torture he puts her through. (Shut up! Don't even say it!) At least he knows that he isn't allowed to hit his baby sister right?


Okay so now that we've got a handle on that problem (I think, otherwise they are going to end up beating the shit out of each other by the time they are 7 and 10) we can move on to the next one. Hopefully it is a lighthearted as this one because I hate it when those occasional serious problems crop up.
Until Next Time...When you have one of those parent moments where you say to yourself 'shit, I shouldn't have done that because now my kid is going to be a no good delinquent', don't stress yourself over it so much. It is fixable! You just have to patient, calm and consistent. And in the meantime, enjoy the laugh at the expense of your children because goodness knows they will be getting many at your expense through the years. ;)

PRETTY COLORS AND SWIRLIES OH MY

I have a new addiction/obsession. I didn't plan on it, but it happened and it slowly taking over my free time.  You see I received a Kindle Fire as a gift and I thought I would be spending a lot of time on it catching up with my midnight reading or playing four pictures one word types of games and maybe watching the occasional movie with my free month of Amazon Prime.  Well you know, I've done a bit of that stuff, but how do I spend a majority of my free time these days???

Playing with the Kaleidoscopic drawing app.  I basically sat there for hours the other day when I was under the weather running my finger over the touch screen again and again and again.. (See and you folks didn't think I had an exciting life...haha!) How can it not be fun right?  Colors and swirlies and mirror images oh my!

It used to be when I would come home from going somewhere I would get on the computer to market this blog or my books and check all of my stats obsessively (Yeah, I talked about that last time I think).  Well, the last few days I head straight for my kindle and my kaleidoscope app. Who cares if I'm going to sell books right? Umm well I actually do care and I have kept up with the marketing, just maybe not as religiously as I should.  I am proud to say that I haven't been checking my stats obsessively :)  (Are you proud of me?).

So how did I realize that I was addicted/obsessed or whatever you call it?  When one of my kids asked if they could have a turn on my kindle (yes I downloaded stuff for them and in fact the kaleidoscope was supposed to be theirs). I grabbed the damn kindle and held it to my chest and cried..."No! Leave me alone, I'm drawing!"  Um yeah, I think it's time I revisit my priorities here.  I have vowed to let my kids use the kindle more (okay, once  day each if they behave) The rest of the time it is MINE!!!  I must see the colors and pretty swirlies, I must see the colors and pretty swirlies, I must see the colors and... Oh um, sorry about that.  I am hoping that some day I can put the kindle down and get back to life as I know it....Kids, Husband, Marketing, Writing and REPEAT. ( See, I told you that you didn't think I had an exciting life!)

Until next time... We all have our little obsessions/addictions but they usually go away with time.  So I guess I'm trying to say enjoy it while you can because eventually life will come back to you and intrude...and then it is onto the next one! ;) (And check out the kaleidescope app, it's hella fun! )

NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT...EXCEPT...

I have no clue what to write about so I just opened up a post and started typing.  It isn't that I am not inspired today, because I have had a wonderful day and am inspired by a lot.  I have received the electronic proof of my book and am waiting for the hard copy to get here.  I have found things I didn't like and have made the changes that are needed. If I like the cover and other physical aspects of the book I will be publishing sometime in the next week.  How exciting is that! And quite inspiring.

I MIGHT GIVE A HINT (IN PICTURES) ABOUT MY UPCOMING ROMANCE NOVEL AT THE END OF THIS POST

My kids are being, well, my kids.  They aren't doing anything out of the ordinary - good or bad.  They are just being themselves.  You know, The Senior and Freshman are fighting all the damn time as usual and I'm about ready to kick them both to the curb (okay not really, but it makes me feel better when I actually use the words.) Miss Crazy is suffering from Middle child syndrome, which she has been for awhile and we are doing what we can to ease it. (see child attached to my side whenever possible)  Mr. Insane is being, um, insane?  He is loud (extraordinarily so) He loves all things weapons, fighting and superheroes and for once I wish I didn't have to listen to him do weapon sound effects! (I want to banish him to his room until he is ready for college, but that just wouldn't be nice.) And Miss Little Butt is driving me up a wall with her attitude (Jeez older girls, I wonder where she got that from! Knock it off or I'll kick you to the curb! Dang it felt even better to say that a second time) And do you know what the worst part of her attitude is now?  It is the speech.  That girl can talk back now!!! The moment all parents dread.  I am spending most of my time these days being disciplinarian. (Okay, most of my time is spent working on the novel, but the rest of it is spent disciplining my kids so maybe, someday, they will grow up to be civilized adults)

What inspired me to write the paragraph about my brats wonderful darling children?  Well you see, Spring break starts at 3:45 tomorrow and I am going to have to be with them all day every day for a week (I won't mention that my wonderful husband will be on vacation and home the whole time too -- oops, I just did!) All I can say is that the weather better be nice enough for them to go outside sometimes or I'm gonna flip my Shiz. Really, try being locked in the house with six other people for a week because you can't afford to go anywhere to get away. We have our spring break so early here that we usually still have snow on the ground and freezing temperatures.  Who the hell ever thought of that?  NCSD has their heads so far up their hineys...but that is another story for another day.

Believe me, In the end I won't complain too much (more) because I will have help at home and I won't have to get my aching hips in and out of the car to chauffeur them to or from school. But seriously, if they fight all. the. damn. time. I am going to lock them myself in a dungeon and they  I will not be seen until they are old enough to move out and get married (was thinking college, but then they tend to come back too often)

Wish me luck folks!  This next week will be a true test of my endurance (and sanity)

Until next time...During spring break, winter break, summer break etc.  Remember you love your kids and hopefully you will survive, and if you don't, at least you will get a nice, happy, quiet place to be :p

Aspects, themes and ideas about the novel! :)

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES

I have had kids home for a five day weekend and there is constant talking going on here (and usually driving me nuts) So I started to think about things that kids say. You know those silly, crazy, funny, scary, insane little gems we all know and love.

 I list this stuff into three categories:

1. Words they make up themselves as they learn to talk:

• Beenum Beenum - In our house this started out as peenum peenum first uttered by The Senior when she was first learning to talk and she wanted to say peanut butter.  Pretty soon, anything that was close to the consistency or look of peanut butter was called this. Eventually it morphed into beenum beenum.  The official definition now?  Diaper rash ointment. 
• Tampertakes- This was the word for pancakes when The Senior was little. We make sure the kids know the proper way to say stuff but once they do, pancakes become tampertakes again.
• Cooper-pons. This one I can't credit to my kids.  One Halloween we were handing out coupons for free donuts instead of candy and a little one asked what it was. When we told him a coupon for free donuts, he ran to his parents yelling Cooper-pon, Cooper-pon in the most excited little voice ever.  It was one of those super cute moments that makes you smile even years later. 
• Pupcakes - One of my oldest and dearest friends has a little girl Miss Crazy's age and she has always called cupcakes, pupcakes.  It is the cutest thing ever! 
• I think you could also put into this category things like how Little Butt calls Mickey Mouse hot dog because of the hot dog song. Instead of saying Gangnam Style she calls it Opp Opp again because of the word Oppa in the song and she is always asking us to play it again. 

2. Things they say that they aren't supposed to or that you aren't expecting them to:

• You know when a bird craps on the windshield and a child yells Bird Shit and it turns out to be there first real words.
• Or how about when my darling husband's brothers teased him that if he could ask for a cookie they would give him one (thinking he couldn't say it) and he said plain as day' Cookie Brubber'
• Or when a two year old is having trouble carrying something and drops it on their foot and instead of crying they drop an F bomb. Yeah, that's a fun one.

3. Things they say when they are trying to act grown up:

• Kids can be quite philosophical at times, without meaning to be. I've had a child tell me not to be sad because life was too short and I needed to get on with things. This was a 4 year old, and the thing I was supposedly sad about was that there was no more milk in the fridge. 
• The other day Miss Crazy was playing a game where she was an adult and she said: I'm old, i'm 105 but i'm dead now. Umm okay.  Not sure what she really meant, but at least she was having fun right? 

Until next time...Enjoy every minute of what your little kids say because they are only little and cute once. Before you know it they will be back talking, brooding, grumpy teens.

FUNNY PICTURE CAPTIONS PT. 3

Here we go again! These seem to be popular posts so here is the next batch :)

GET TO KNOW ME - 13 PICTURES

 Well, I have run out of pictures of Alaska to share so I thought I would just post some pictures to help you get to know me better.  Some of my family and some of the likes that make me who I am :)  Enjoy!

Me and my Little Butt (the baby, my butt IS NOT that little)

The gang! The Senior holding Little Butt, Mr Insane, The Freshman, and Miss Crazy - I love them!!!!

My favorite book of all time. Read before it got popular :)

I love reading all different kinds of books but if I just want to relax and read a fun book Janet Evanovich and Setphanie Plum are where I head first!

I am definitely a child of the 80's. My favorite music is from that decade and my fondest memories are too :)

I don't have  current favorite movie, but this is one that I loved for many years. I think Julia Roberts was my biggest girl crush!

I love love love to read.  I read all kinds - serious, funny, fiction, non fiction, contemporary, classics.

My favorite color - if you hadn't guessed already by the amount of it I like on my Blog backgrounds. :)

My favorite food - Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream and probably the reason my butt is so big (we won't blame it on the hormonal imbalance this time. haha)

My favorite drink - Iced tea with Lemon. I don't do alcohol so this has to be my drug.

My favorite animal.  I love me some Otters :D

My favorite TV show although I haven't watched it in quite awhile because of the kids. I have a huge nerd crush on Matthew Gray Gubler (Spencer Reid)

And of course, my passion, my hobby, my life - writing (and my kids too but hey, I talk about them ALL THE TIME ;))

Until next time...Stay warm, I'm sure we aren't the only ones about to have a cold snap!