MILESTONE - A HARD PILL TO SWALLOW (PLUS A BONUS POST!)

Today I will give you two posts for the price of one...Okay for the space of one since you aren't paying to read this. Post 1 is a normal mom's adventures with kids post and Post 2 is an article I wrote for my writer's website JJ Ellis, Romance Author that delves into the mind of a writer. I have two other articles on that site too if you want to check them out (Courage was the first and Imperfections was the second)

POST 1
Okay, so I am big about milestones right?  I talk about them a lot (remember when I was all emotional because my little man preferred more grown up kids shows to Mickey Mouse?)  Well, it seems we have hit another one.

Allergy season is upon us - hardcore and since most allergy medications are over the counter we spend a fortune on them every couple of weeks.  The little one is doing well on zyrtec so she has her own bottle of liquid children's zyrtec and the only antihistamine that doesn't turn Mr. Insane into...well, Mr. Insane times 100 is Claritin so he and Miss Crazy have a bottle of liquid children's Claritin to share.  Then The Freshman decided she was tired of refusing her medicine and wanted to feel better so she needed something to take. (Zyrtec turns her into a crazy woman too). My pocket book started to ache along with my heart in watching my kids suffer.


So, The hubs and I came up with a plan.  The Claritin pills (age 6 and up) are tiny so why not see if Miss Crazy can take them. We get those at his work in bulk for cheap!. So Miss Crazy was given a try on her very first pill.  Could she swallow it? Would our experimental work?  YES!!! My baby girl is no longer a baby girl.  She is a big girl.  She can take pill forms of medicine. She is growing up, I am feeling old, this is an exciting day, I am feeling old, what a cool milestone, I am feeling old...yeah, you get the picture.  Once again this is one of those bittersweet milestones.  (I'm not even going to think about the fact that in 22 days I will be the mother of a high school graduate, and in 26 days the mother of a high school sophomore, a second grader and a kindergartner.)

So now I am happy/sad and my pocketbook is thrilled.  We can buy 400 pills really cheap for The Freshman and Miss Crazy to share and a small bottle of medicine will last Mr. Insane a long time as does the medicine we get for Little Butt.  See, there are advantages to your kids growing up!!!  Rejoice in it :)

Until Next Time...ENJOY LIFE :) There are a lot of benefits to our kids growing up and to us getting older. Embrace it or you might just drive yourself crazy. I have had to learn that lesson the hard way but I finally did. Yes, I get a bit teary eyed at milestones, but I no longer dwell on them to distraction.  There is too much fun to be had, too much life to live to dwell on how old my kids and I are getting.

POST 2

A few weeks after I published my first book, Virgin Voyage, I came to a realization that really stung, but in a way made so much sense. The story I had practically lived, and loved like a child, would never bring me reading pleasure like it did others.

In the first few weeks after publication I truly can not tell you how many times I read the book. I had this urge to see if it was a pleasurable, enjoyable read. I wanted to enjoy it (or hate it) the same way a stranger who purchased it would.

There were short periods of time where I could blank my world out and get caught up in Mari and Graham's, but my world always came crashing back in. (And I'm not talking about  my kids bother me or the phone ringing or someone knocking on the door)  You see, I can never not be the author of Virgin Voyage. I will always read it with a critical eye. 'Should I have done this, or written that, or left that out. Or will my readers enjoy this or that better.' Truthfully I just wanted to live in Mari
and Graham's finished world for fourteen chapters. I guess you could say that I was craving the ability to just be a reader to my book.

I couldn't help how I felt. I knew I shouldn't feel that way but I did. It almost felt like a betrayal to the characters. I created them, I loved them, I nurtured them,  I put them to paper and I enjoyed it thoroughly. But I couldn't experience them as they were meant to be enjoyed.

And then my first reviews started to come in. Not only on Amazon, but through people contacting me personally to tell me how much they loved the book. All of a sudden, everything I've mentioned above didn't seem to matter anymore. Friends, family and strangers were reading my book the way I wanted to, and I realized something, the whole reason I wrote the book in the first place was so people could live it, love it and enjoy it.  Low and behold, they actually were!!!!  I never betrayed Mari and Graham, I gave them a happy life, in more ways than one.

I know I will most likely have the same feelings about future books, but now I will know how to handle it - just sit back and wait, someone will enjoy it and tell me they did, and then
the world inside that book will be complete.

NEW MOMMY BLOGGER BOOK!!!

I have a new book about my blog coming out this weekend.  It will be available from create space, amazon and kindle!  I am giving you all a sneak peek at my cover right here and now.

THE LINE BETWEEN GOOD MOM AND BAD MOM

First off I have a huge favor to ask of all of you. If you have a facebook could you go to the link I post below and vote for my Rizzy girl. She was the special live saving dog I told you all about in the blog PLEASE FORGIVE ME! It would mean a lot to have an abstract portrait of her to help keep her memory alive. Thanks :)

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151344455704086&set=a.10151344453419086.455557.163898744085&type=3&theater

Now for the major story. I know we all have days where we feel like great parents and days where we feel like awful parents.  This is one of the situations where the line between these two get blurred.

I let my son be corrupted and I can't say I am proud of what I did, but truthfully, I can't regret it at this point. You see, Mr. Insane has a crazy history. He was the sweetest most helpful child you had ever met. Then I stopped breast feeding him and the allergies hit hard. We took him to the doctor and they put him on Zyrtec. When the allergies would get really bad a couple of times of year they added Singulair too.

The freshman never could take Zyrtec. It caused her to have really bad behavioral problems on top of her Autistic meltdowns.  It wasn't fun. We started to notice some of the same symptoms in Mr. Insane so we pulled him off of it and they put him on Singulair full time. By now, he still had some temper issues but we figured it was because he had learned bad habits while on the Zyrtec.  Something just seemed off though so I had him tested for Autism...twice. He didn't have it.  They chalked it up to attention seeking because he was having to try to swim his way out of a sea of estrogen in our house.  We went about our way for the next 2.5 years  or so and the behavioral problems came back.

We would take the kids off of the medicine off and on for various reasons. And then one day not too long ago the kids had been about three weeks without it and when we put them back on, Mr Insane started to literally act insane.  It was like he was driven by a machine. constant moving, hitting, swinging and kicking (thank goodness not toward people most of the time.) I was about to take him to the hospital one night when he got really bad and it all suddenly came together in my mind. Every time we put him back on the singular he got worse. We pulled him off of the medication and he has gradually gotten better although he still has some attention seeking tantrum problems and is a hitter to family but not friends.

Okay so now on to how I was a bad mom (although not noticing my son was a wreck because of medicine for 2.5 years is pretty bad). When I had him tested for Autism the doctor recommended that I let him socialize more.  We don't really have any friends locally and he was only used to being around his bossy sisters.  Well, an older couple across the street suddenly had their grand kids living with them. This was an answer to my prayers.  There were two little boys for Mr. Insane and Miss Crazy to play with.  (We tried pre school but they ran out of room.)

These little boys were awful!  They were show offs, liars, undisciplined, sometimes mean, bratty, I could go on but I'm not sure what other words to use.  Thanks to them my kids started saying words like sex, and sexy. And they started cussing a lot! They tried to backtalk and not do what we said but we put a quick stop to that!

I wanted to stop them from seeing these two so badly, but the socialization was doing Mr. Insane a world of good. He started to come out of his shell.  He would actually speak to people in public now. He seemed to be a brighter light in this world suddenly. I had to weigh the pro's and con's of letting the relationship continue. The good these two little devils were doing far outweighed the bad in my mind. They are gone now, moved to Texas or California...thank goodness. And there are two sweet little boys who come around to play now.

I will have to re train them not to curse.  It's getting better but we still have some work to do.  I am up for the challenge though!  Would I have let the relationship continue if I thought they would turn my kids into serial killers or something?  Absolutely not.  I seriously was contemplating ending the relationship by the time the oldest one reached 9 though because he was learning thing that no 8 year old should know. I'm so glad I no longer have to worry about this! I had to chose between the lesser of two evils to help my son and I believe I made the right decision.

Until next time...Sometimes we have to make decisions we are uncomfortable with but as long as we believe it will help the one we love, and stay on top of the situation, we can feel good about what we've done.