GRADUATION DAY! BUSY BUSY BUSY!

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I wasn't even sure I would be able to do a blog today. (But I couldn't stay away because I'm addicted to y'all!) The last few days have been so busy and today will be too. We had a graduation lunch and party for family yesterday.  It was fun but kept us busy and going all day.  Today will be no different.

Gwen just left, headed for a three hour long mandatory Graduation practice. (Boy am I glad I only had 78 people in my graduating class, our mandatory practice took under an hour!) When the practice is over, we all meet the grandparents at the car lot to pick up Gwen's car.  She is so excited and can't wait to go out in it with her father and get the rest of the practice she needs to get her license!

After that will be lunch and possibly a trip to the thrift store in hopes that the 'chair from heaven' is there so I can work in comfort and my hips won't yell at me quite so much. Gwen gets to head

home and try to sleep so she can make it through the night at the school sponsored all night grad party.

The Freshman and Miss Crazy still have to go to school today so after a stop home that will probably involve some cleaning, they will have to be picked up from school and then we will all have to get gussied up (do people use that expression anymore, or am I showing my age?) for graduation and then we will meet the in-laws for dinner.  The next step is the scary one. We will be taking our first baby girl to her high school graduation ceremony!

Her school has 400+ students in this graduating class so the ceremony will be loooooooooonnnnnnngggggg! And of course, The Freshman and Miss Crazy will have school tomorrow. (Have I already told you guys how much I love hate this school district, I do believe I have!) Should be a fun night/morning in our house. :/ I also wonder how loud my hips will be screaming when I wake up!

The good news is, my house was clean when the relatives and friends showed up, the kids behaved

and the dog didn't piddle on them. (Although he almost peed on Gwen's boyfriend, I wonder if The Hubs has been training him in the fine art of protecting his baby girls from boys)

I hope that now that the relatives have finally (after 8 years) had a glimpse of our lives, they realize that we are indeed safe, happy and healthy, and that moving away from Nevada was in fact the best thing we could have done for our family.

Until Next Time...When your child graduates High School either wear waterproof mascara or none at all. I know for sure I am going to be a giant, crying basket case.  My new nickname would probably be 'The Weeper' ;)

CONGRATULATIONS GWEN, WE ARE SO VERY PROUD OF YOU AND LOVE YOU VERY MUCH. MAY YOUR FUTURE BE HAPPY, HEALTHY AND FULL OF LOVE!

I CRIED LIKE A BABY

So, we've been having a lot of milestones and exciting changes around here lately. It's been crazy emotional.  Gwen (previously, The Senior) is out of high school now and graduates officially on Monday. Mr. Insane is officially registered for Kindergarten in the Fall, and Gwen is getting her first car on Monday.

The other day, after the car purchase decision was made, I realized something. We had my old van sitting in the driveway and undrivable for the last year waiting for someone (yeah, ended up being mom) to call and have it towed away to the junkyard. Where in the heck were we going to put Gwen's car? So yesterday was the day...The big old tow truck backed up to her (Sally) in my driveway, pulled her up on the flatbed, handed me some cash and drove away. And I cried like a baby.  I haven't been able to drive her in a year, but at least she was sitting there and she was still part of our lives.

We bought her when Gwen was almost a year old. We moved to Oregon soon after and of course, she was there with us. A few months later, we moved back to Nevada and of course, the van came with us. She literally saw us through four moves, one road trip vacation, one training session for The Hubs that required him to drive from southwestern WY to South Dakota every week, driving home to Nevada every Thanksgiving for the first few years we lived in Wyoming, and driving five kids anywhere and everywhere they went. This van was the scene of hugs and kisses, puke and poop, and fights and make ups. Toys and shoes were lost in this vehicle, never to be seen again.

Is it possible for one vehicle to see so much of a person's life.  It doesn't seem possible, but it is.  Many people trade in cars every few years, but we try to use em til they are dead! And that is exactly what we did with Sally. Just think about it, we got rid of her a few days before Gwen graduated High School, the car and Gwen were a year apart in age. That is a lot of life lived right there and Sally was there the whole time.

Now what?  Well, I don't think the mourning will last long although I will ALWAYS have piles of memories. Now a new vehicle will take her place in the driveway. Come Monday, Gwen's car will be jockeying for position with mine. I only have one word to describe this time in our lives. Bittersweet, but then again, much of life is bittersweet.

Until Next Time...Remember that the objects that represent or symbolize our lives may leave us, but the memories live on in our hearts forever.

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6 QUALITIES I WANT MY KIDS TO HAVE AS THEY GROW

Now that my first child is graduating from High School, I figure it is time that I write down life lessons that I hope they learn.

• 1st: Have a mind of your own, do what needs to be done and not what outsiders/trends/or takers push you to do 
• 2nd: Listen to authority, always. Whether it is teachers bosses or parents. Even if you feel grown  up or better than someone, always do what is expected of you.
• 3rd: Have the ability to admit when you are wrong. Being wrong doesn't mean you are stupid or unworthy. If you are wrong, admit and and move on. In the end you will be a better person and others will notice that.
• 4th: Don't lie because it is what you think others will want to hear, or just to get attention. Always tell the truth and anyone who truly loves you won't care that you are honest. Bottom line is, lies alienate the people who love you the most and you don't want to drive away your support system by lying to or about them.
• 5th: Don't be ashamed of the people you love. They do what they do and can't or won't change it. If you are proud of them, others will be too.
• 6th: Be as nice to family and friends as you are to strangers because in times of need, if you've treated them right, your family WILL pull you through, strangers won't because they don't know you.

These are all things I've seen teens and young adults struggling with and I hope that by putting them in a list, others can use them and maybe teach kids some good life lessons to make their lives easier. I know my kids can learn from some (or all) of these lessons. 

Until Next Time...I know growing up is hard, but it can be done with grace and kindness, we just need to give our children a push in the right direction.  I have yet to find out if my parenting will be a success or a failure, but within a few years, I will know and I just hope that everyone will be happy healthy and well rounded.

CLEANING MY HOUSE AND OTHER RANDOM RAMBLINGS

So, we've been trying to get the house done for guests coming up here in about twelve days.  I don't know what the hell we've been working on, but there is only one room that I consider sufficiently clean and that is my bathroom. It looks so good, you could eat off the floors (okay, maybe not - ICK, but you all know I like using those cute little sayings that in all actuality make no flippin sense)

My kitchen is trashed, there is stuff everywhere like laundry and toys and an old Christmas tree. (yes, the laundry is being dumped in a tub in the kitchen instead of being folded. Don't ask, because I have no clue.  You could always call my laundry folders if you are super curious though) And unfortunately our floors, that we are re doing, aren't even done yet. The Christmas tree box needs to go somewhere, but we aren't sure where yet.  It started off as a thin, nicely packaged box and now looks like my muffin top. (Sorry I know, ICK but after five kids, there isn't much about the human body that I'm shy about anymore)

My living room is trashed too, but with such a small house, and no playroom I don't think I will ever really like how my living room looks. It is the room that is cleaned 4-5 times a day and still, when I wake up in the morning,  it is like nightmare walking out there. Sometimes I want to cry (well, I guess not really, but I do feel like screaming sometimes).  I think that will be the last room we do the deep cleaning in too, because it just won't last.

My bedroom is halfway done, which is a good thing, but our timeline was to have it done today.  NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! You see, my room is storage for the house. We have a closet the size of a postage stamp (okay, maybe 1/2 a postage stamp) so our stuff is stored in boxes and storage tubs in the bedroom. They must all be contained and stacked neatly. ( I sometimes wonder if anyone but me knows how to do that though. I am really trying to remember if I took a class like that in college - ORGANIZING A SMALL HOUSE 101?)

The kids rooms should be quick, most of it is just toys and clothes, but keeping them clean until after guests leave will be the hard part. Our next big thing is the kids' bathroom.  I trusted them to keep it clean by teaching them how (and having two older kids who are allowed to use strong cleaners) but I ventured in there one day and....Can I have my own house condemned?  Well anyway, let's just say they have their work cut out for them.  I know they can do it, lets just hope they do.  All I can say is I will now be doing weekly inspections no matter how hard it is for me to maneuver down their hallway (our dressers are in the hall so they have more play room in their rooms, but it makes for a relatively narrow walkway, and with my hips....) And I'm sure I will be in there, sitting in a high backed support chair, with a pumice stone in one hand and a magic eraser in the other for as much as I can handle.

My biggest problem is that I used to be the one to handle most of the big cleanings like this.  But now I just can't do it.  I can do bits and pieces and help out here and there, but I just can't get busy and bust this out in two days like I used to. (If anyone can cure my hips and my sinuses I would appreciate it and then I could have this place spotless in no time at all.)  This is one of those times I post about occasionally, where I feel very inadequate because of my limitations, but I'm not gonna dwell on that so I'm just going to say -

Until Next Time...I don't have anything profound to say today so I will just say that I have enjoyed having you all here for the last 6 months (our anniversary was on the fourth!) and I hope to see you all here for the next six months and longer. :D

 

BURNOUT - JUST ME? - AND A HEARTFELT THANKS TO MY READERS

Why is everyone burning out?  It seems that everyone I know is on a burnout course right now.  I know I sure am, not with my writing thank goodness, but because everyone around me is burning out.

 The Senior has just about had it with the stress of being a graduating senior (and other stresses she tends to put onto herself). She is losing weight because of it all and she's had it with that. She was perfect the way she was before. She loves school, she always has, but she is ready for it to be done.  I know she will miss her friends and teachers at her school, but she is done with this year.  I hope she is/will soon be excited about the new life she is starting!

The freshman is burning out.  She had a teacher who completely undermined her confidence (and that teacher will be hearing from me.) so now she has pretty much given up on this semester and I am having to play the bad guy to get her back on track for the last three weeks of school.  She is so ready to be done done done.

Miss Crazy loves school and is good at it and has a great time with her classmates, but she is also ready to be done. More often than not she would be totally willing to stay home (and yes i've checked to make sure nothing is going on at school to make her feel that way) 

Mr. Insane is pretty much done with being stuck in the house with his bratty sisters and can't wait until his friends arrive for the summer so he can have male companionship. 

Little Butt thank goodness hasn't burned out on anything, but then again she is only 2.  As long as she has my Kindle Fire and youtube she is happy as can be.  

The hubs is also burning out, on his job and where we live and everything else. Hell, even our friends seem to be burning out.  A lady I know lives for taking her kids to school and driving them anywhere they need to go, and for some reason, this year she just can't wait for summer so she gets a break.  She has even ruled out anything but home play for the first two weeks of Summer Vacation.  She is done this year!

So, what is causing this burnout?  I guess it could be anything really, but why so many people experiencing it at the same time. The crazy weather? The economy? Life circumstances? Something in the water? I really just don't know.  I figured for us it is a bit of the crazy weather (just a couple weeks ago we still had a foot of snow and on May 1st we had 3 inches.) a bit life circumstances (We really just want to move away from here! One kid is graduating! Family is visiting! One kid is starting Kindergarten in the fall! Our lives are about to change forever because of ages and milestones!) But that doesn't explain why so many people are experiencing it too.  

So, here is what i've come up with. It is social media. You see, before I started doing this blog and selling my books, I had a very limited view of the world and limited contact with others, but now I am exposed to so many different things and different people that I just notice this stuff more. It's probably always happened off and on, but I never noticed until I became saturated in social media. I will not complain though because I truthfully don't know what I would do without you guys. This is my new life and I love it.  I'm sad that people seem to be burning out but other than being there for them (as a mom, wife, email recipient if any of you would like to chat, blog reader, online friend etc.) there isn't much I can do.  I will continue to keep trying to inspire, humor and relieve everyday pressures for my readers and fans.  I hope you will continue to join me three times a week to get some stress relief!

Until Next Time...If you find yourself burning out hang tight. Find one thing you can do (even if it is only for ten minutes) to relieve some of the monotony in your life. You could also talk to friends or family, or write things down in a private journal or public blog.  It won't last forever if you can just take a short moment to breathe and realize how lucky you are.  That's what i've been doing for years.  Thank goodness I have this blog or I would be a crispy shell of the woman I am now - you all are my stress relief, my way of not staying burned out. THANK YOU ALL!!!

THEY LIVE ON, IN YOUR HEART

Tomorrow would have been my daddy's 74th birthday.  Some years, I don't think about it until it's over but this year I think it popped up in my mind because of The Senior's graduation.  My daddy actually got to meet her, I remember he held her when she was a baby - her head in his hand and her butt in the crook of his arm, as comfortable and safe as she could be, cradled in his large hands. I really wish he could be there to see it, or at least to receive pictures of it when it is over.  I wish he could know what is going on, but then again maybe he does know and my sadness comes from not being able to be the one to tell him.

I'm sure I will feel the same way when The Freshman graduates too. He was able to see her a few times before he passed. I remember once, after he was already sick and the strength in his arm was really bad.  He was afraid to hold her, but she was old enough to sit on his knee and balance herself. I remember her sitting there giggling as her grandfather's big shaky hand held onto her as best it could. This was a child who wasn't super smiley or giggly and she was very uncomfortable with people she didn't know well, but she was happy as could be sitting on her grandfather's knee.

And when my other kids graduate I'm sure I will think of him too because he never got to meet them and this is one life event where I will wish he could come back long enough to see their big day. Do you ever think about your lost loved ones on special days? I think for me it is the really special ones that bring up the memories.  Things like graduations, engagements and weddings.

I don't have a whole lot of beliefs about spirits and Heaven and Hell, but the one thing I do believe for sure is that my father knows his grandkids.  No matter how many times he saw them in real life, he knows them well.  He knows the struggles, triumphs and pretty much everything else in their lives. I don't know that he would be proud of them, I know that he IS proud of them.  The Senior had an award ceremony the other day the celebrated her being in the top 10 percent of graduating seniors in our district.  Her grandfather knew this and he was so proud of her.  I know that on Grad night, he will be there somewhere, the proudest grandfather ever as his Granddaughter graduates high school in the top ten of her district and as a member of the national honor society and the Japanese honor society, as he will be there and proud of all of his grandkids when they graduate.  And get engaged, and married and have kids of their own.

So on my daddy's birthday I try to feel happy and celebratory because it reminds me that he might be physically gone, but I truly believe he is still here with us, loving us and being a huge part of our lives. I save the sadness at his loss for the anniversary of the day we lost him physically.

Until Next Time...Only you can keep someone alive...in your heart. They might not be here physically, but they can still be a part of you, a part of your life if you open your heart and let them live in a tiny part
of it.  There's plenty of room, the heart is unlimited in every way. <3

MILESTONE - A HARD PILL TO SWALLOW (PLUS A BONUS POST!)

Today I will give you two posts for the price of one...Okay for the space of one since you aren't paying to read this. Post 1 is a normal mom's adventures with kids post and Post 2 is an article I wrote for my writer's website JJ Ellis, Romance Author that delves into the mind of a writer. I have two other articles on that site too if you want to check them out (Courage was the first and Imperfections was the second)

POST 1
Okay, so I am big about milestones right?  I talk about them a lot (remember when I was all emotional because my little man preferred more grown up kids shows to Mickey Mouse?)  Well, it seems we have hit another one.

Allergy season is upon us - hardcore and since most allergy medications are over the counter we spend a fortune on them every couple of weeks.  The little one is doing well on zyrtec so she has her own bottle of liquid children's zyrtec and the only antihistamine that doesn't turn Mr. Insane into...well, Mr. Insane times 100 is Claritin so he and Miss Crazy have a bottle of liquid children's Claritin to share.  Then The Freshman decided she was tired of refusing her medicine and wanted to feel better so she needed something to take. (Zyrtec turns her into a crazy woman too). My pocket book started to ache along with my heart in watching my kids suffer.


So, The hubs and I came up with a plan.  The Claritin pills (age 6 and up) are tiny so why not see if Miss Crazy can take them. We get those at his work in bulk for cheap!. So Miss Crazy was given a try on her very first pill.  Could she swallow it? Would our experimental work?  YES!!! My baby girl is no longer a baby girl.  She is a big girl.  She can take pill forms of medicine. She is growing up, I am feeling old, this is an exciting day, I am feeling old, what a cool milestone, I am feeling old...yeah, you get the picture.  Once again this is one of those bittersweet milestones.  (I'm not even going to think about the fact that in 22 days I will be the mother of a high school graduate, and in 26 days the mother of a high school sophomore, a second grader and a kindergartner.)

So now I am happy/sad and my pocketbook is thrilled.  We can buy 400 pills really cheap for The Freshman and Miss Crazy to share and a small bottle of medicine will last Mr. Insane a long time as does the medicine we get for Little Butt.  See, there are advantages to your kids growing up!!!  Rejoice in it :)

Until Next Time...ENJOY LIFE :) There are a lot of benefits to our kids growing up and to us getting older. Embrace it or you might just drive yourself crazy. I have had to learn that lesson the hard way but I finally did. Yes, I get a bit teary eyed at milestones, but I no longer dwell on them to distraction.  There is too much fun to be had, too much life to live to dwell on how old my kids and I are getting.

POST 2

A few weeks after I published my first book, Virgin Voyage, I came to a realization that really stung, but in a way made so much sense. The story I had practically lived, and loved like a child, would never bring me reading pleasure like it did others.

In the first few weeks after publication I truly can not tell you how many times I read the book. I had this urge to see if it was a pleasurable, enjoyable read. I wanted to enjoy it (or hate it) the same way a stranger who purchased it would.

There were short periods of time where I could blank my world out and get caught up in Mari and Graham's, but my world always came crashing back in. (And I'm not talking about  my kids bother me or the phone ringing or someone knocking on the door)  You see, I can never not be the author of Virgin Voyage. I will always read it with a critical eye. 'Should I have done this, or written that, or left that out. Or will my readers enjoy this or that better.' Truthfully I just wanted to live in Mari
and Graham's finished world for fourteen chapters. I guess you could say that I was craving the ability to just be a reader to my book.

I couldn't help how I felt. I knew I shouldn't feel that way but I did. It almost felt like a betrayal to the characters. I created them, I loved them, I nurtured them,  I put them to paper and I enjoyed it thoroughly. But I couldn't experience them as they were meant to be enjoyed.

And then my first reviews started to come in. Not only on Amazon, but through people contacting me personally to tell me how much they loved the book. All of a sudden, everything I've mentioned above didn't seem to matter anymore. Friends, family and strangers were reading my book the way I wanted to, and I realized something, the whole reason I wrote the book in the first place was so people could live it, love it and enjoy it.  Low and behold, they actually were!!!!  I never betrayed Mari and Graham, I gave them a happy life, in more ways than one.

I know I will most likely have the same feelings about future books, but now I will know how to handle it - just sit back and wait, someone will enjoy it and tell me they did, and then
the world inside that book will be complete.

THE IN-LAWS ARE COMING, THE IN-LAWS ARE COMING (AND VARIOUS OTHER PEOPLE TOO)

Just wanted to let you all know that I am not sure if this template will stay or not but it works for now.  I have problems with some templates triggering migraines for me lately so I am trying to find one that is perfect for my blog and that doesn't cause me problems.  Thanks for your patience! 

It is that time, we will be invaded by people from out of town very soon. The Senior is graduating and family and friends will be coming to see her. I don't have a problem with this because it is nice to see family and friends that you don't see often enough. (Besides they won't be here too terribly long and only my mom will be staying with us - if she can make it, so it's not like we will be put out in any way) What is my problem with this whole situation? Well, it is my house.


In my everyday life, I don't care if the kids friends, people we know, or others come over and the house is far from perfect. They know we have 5 kids for cripes sake and they know the house is going to look lived in. But for some strange reason, when people are coming from out of town I have this almost obsessive urge to make sure everything is perfect. I mean everything, the hard water stains in the toilet must be completely gone, every last fingerprint must be off of the walls and furniture and if there is any dirty spots on the couch and I can't have them cleaned, the couch covers come out. Every crumb must be vacuumed up and every single toy must be in it's proper place. (yes, i'm a very strange person, but you already knew that right?)


I have no clue why I have this obsession. People (especially family and close(out of town) friends know that I am physically limited and I have teenagers that can't be trusted, helping me out around the house properly. I don't think anyone expects my house to be perfect because of our circumstances. WAIT, STOP, HOLD UP!!! I think that's it. They don't expect my world to be perfect because we are poor and live in the boonies and I am a decrepit old lady and my kids suck at chores and I want to prove them wrong! Holy cow why didn't I see this sooner. (I tell ya, this blog is so flippin therapeutic it's not even funny!) Anyway, yeah, I just want to prove to them that no matter what our circumstances we can be great too. And I think to do that I have to go way overboard. Yep, that's me - my middle name should be overboard (but then I would be JO Ellis and it just isn't quite as catchy as JJ Ellis)


So now that I've made this revelation, can I just sit back and relax and let my house be sanitary but lived in? OH HELL NO! Not gonna happen. We are going to bust our butts over the next month to make sure the house, cars and yard are perfect for when they visit. I know I shouldn't, but I feel like I have something to prove to people who mean the most of me. Kind of warped huh? I just can't not do it, I am a woman possessed in this case.
Until Next Time...Do not follow my lead. You have nothing to prove to anyone. Go about your normal day and most likely your family and friends will love you just the way you are. If they can't accept who you really are, then maybe they aren't as close as you thought they were.


NOTE: NOTE: NOTE: NOTE: The title in no way implies that I have a problem with my in-laws and I am not stressed mostly about them. I stress about all people equally! And admit it the title catches your interest better than any of the others I could have come up with. It just sounded better than the family is coming the family is coming or the friends are coming the friends are coming, you know, because a lot of people stress about their in-laws <3 you John and Alberta and we can't wait to see you again! Hard to believe it has been almost a year! :) (not that they will ever see this unless I put it in my next book because they don't have internet :'( ) Anyway, carry on!

ALL GROWN UP

My oldest baby girl is pretty much all grown up.  In 2 3/4 months she will be graduating from High School.  Can you believe it?  Oh wait, you don't really know her. But I sure know I can't believe it!  It seems just like yesterday I was walking into the hospital hoping this was finally it and finding out I was just dilated enough for them to want me to stay.  Twelve hours later, the day before The Shooter's birthday my very first child was born.  We had no idea if the baby would be a boy or a girl because during ultrasounds her cord was always snugly planted between her legs.  When she came out...the doctor had to move the cord out of the way to tell us that she was indeed a girl. Truthfully we were expecting a boy because girls are very uncommon on the husband's side of the family and since sperm decide the sex of the baby....yeah.

Now she is 17 and a senior in high school and about ready to walk across that stage.  Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh. I sure hope I'm ready for it! Granted she will be going to college locally so it's not like she's moving thousands of miles yet, but I still feel kind of...happy....sad....excited...crazy....OLD!

What brought all of this on almost three months before the event?  Well, we are re doing our flooring so when people come from out of town to visit during graduation they won't see how much my children have spilled on and dragged dirt through my living room and ruined my carpet.  I know, I know, not something sentimental and gushy to bring these thoughts to mind, but come on, this is me we are talking about.  A sneeze can make me think of the weirdest things.  Maybe that is why I have so many story ideas?

Not that I don't get mushy about my kids' milestones because I do.  Just wait until May, I will be a blubbering mess with a camera in my hands. I won't have any idea what pictures I take will look like until after the night is over and I upload them because I will have tears in my eyes the whole time.

I must say, I am a lucky mom.  The Senior is a wonderful child.  She gets great grades, is very kind and giving and will some day be a great mom. That is if she can find a decent guy. She has had the worst possible luck with guys of any teen I know of.  Jerks, dummies, a**h***s, she's had them all.  She's even been through a broken engagement. So now, onto the future! She has a current boyfriend and things seem to be going great for once - he is a nice kid, intelligent and seems to have his head on straight (as straight as a teenaged boy gets) so we all just hope it keeps going that way.

So what is next for my first baby?  College!!!  She is going to have so much fun! I hope she is able to meet a lot of great, kind, influential people to help her get a great start on her adult life.  We can't ask for anything more.  It is hard to believe that my role in her life is almost done.  Soon I will just be a support system and not a supporter of life.

Until next time...Hold your kids tight and remember, they grow up very fast so don't let time get away from you.    ENJOY YOUR KIDS TO THE FULLEST!!!