TIME FOR A CHANGE

So, I woke up this morning gasping for breath and decided that I am so glad I'm in the process of making a change for my health.  Yes, I have allergies and yes that played a huge role in why I couldn't breathe. But you know what else played a role?  My weight.  If I didn't have all this extra weight weighing down on my lungs and nasal passages, my breathing wouldn't have been as bad this morning.  I can't tell you how long it has been since I have been able to sleep on my back. I'm done folks, really and truly done.

My biggest problem ?  How do I get healthy if I can barely move.  Well a couple of years ago (I think) I came across an old friend from college on Facebook.  We would comment on each other's posts and stuff, you know, like usual facebook friends do.  But one day I saw her start posting about this amazing weight loss she was going through. Can you say jealous? OMG I wanted some of the action, but I just wasn't ready yet.  Then I saw her start posting about health benefits of the products she was using and how her WHOLE FAMILY was benefiting.  The Jealousy increased greatly and I would occasionally 'like' a post about her (and her husband's) weight loss, but I still wasn't ready yet.  I watched her post about this for months and I really wanted to try what she was doing, but something kept holding me back.  And then one day I comment one of her posts and she messaged me about how I could accomplish what her family had.  Whatever was holding me back, started to wear away.

We would discuss it occasionally and I would look at the before and after pictures she posted and I became more and more interested.  Then one day, I woke up in pain and I felt fat and useless and I wondered if I would be here to see my youngest graduate high school like i'd just seen my oldest do. And I wondered if I would even be here to finish the series of 5 books that I am writing. And I checked the balance on credit cards and talked it over with the hubs.  We decided that I had to do something and since traditional diet/exercise routines were out of the question for me, we decided to take a chance.  I could just buy the product which isn't super cheap for a poor girl like me, but i've seen worse, or I could become a distributor and save a bit of money.

In the end I decided to try to sell the product.  If it works half as good for me as it did for my friend then I will be more than willing to shout it from the rooftops ten times over every hour on the hour.  You should see my friend, the transformation she and her husband have gone through brings tears to my eyes.  It's not just the amount of weight loss (They are a very good looking pair no matter what their weight) but you can see the glow of COMPLETE ABSOLUTE HEALTH coming off of them.  It is truly amazing.  What do I want to get out of this?  1. Health - i.e. better allergies and overall health, better sleep, help for my two kids who have attention problems 2. Weight loss 3. Less pain - this one isn't guaranteed because I just have bad hips/back, but without all the extra weight there could be some improvement- minor or major I will take it. 4. That little bit of extra money that I can make by selling this product.

So what will be my next step?  Get the product (ordered today) and have faith that it will work for me.  After that? Share it with all of you and keep you updated (not every blog, but once in awhile) to let you know how healthy we are getting.  I won't mention the product yet because I myself haven't used it and I want to be able to say 100 percent for sure that it works for ME before I share it completely. I bet you I will be back on here within 3-4 weeks with a good report.

Until Next Time...So, will you still love me if i'm no longer broken?  I sure hope so because my sense of humor will be intact and the antics of my kids will be the same (just most likely more healthy antics, less icky sickies!)  and I will still be a wife and mom who isn't perfect, but is doing the best she can to share ideas with you and entertain you.  Take care and be healthy!!! <3

COMPLAINING ABOUT A BAD DAY, WHY YES, I WILL

I had two kids at the doctor today. And of course the day I have to be out and about a lot, it is supposed to be 95 degrees, which means I will be getting sick. Runs to the doctor, the lab, the store for prescriptions and then to pick Gwen up from work means I will probably NOT be enjoying dinner tonight. Then this evening, we will be babysitting the neighbor kids again so I will have aching hips, an upset and hurting stomach, and a very annoyed temperament.  Oh joy!  The good news - This will be the last night we have to watch the neighbor kids.  It seems my kids overheard us talking about not doing it anymore and they told the neighbor kids who told their grandparents and woo hoo, we are free again!

I was kind of hoping that getting out of babysitting would be a punishment for my older two children who volunteered me, but hey, it's too hot to hold a grudge right now. I'm sure someday, somewhere, somehow I will punish them for their bad deed. hehe. But until then I will be trying to keep cool.

We never should have complained about winter lasting so long, because now summer is here early.  Casper, WY in the mid nineties in early June...yep we are being punished. And rightly so, I will never complain about long winters again...maybe...probably not...ah hell, I'll complain, but then I will suffer. At this point, I really don't care. I'm just trying to get through this day without hurling. So, a note to my kids - if you need to go anywhere or be picked up from anywhere tomorrow, you're on your own.  When it's hot, I stay inside so I can survive. Period. End of Story.

You may be wondering what is wrong with my two who were at the doctor. Well Miss Crazy has developed a sinus infection and sores on her throat (no strep though) thanks to the nasty coughing crud we had.  And Gwen went in for testing to see why she is feeling a bit off. They are testing for diabetes, thyroid, hemoglobin and a few other things.  Hopefully it is just a normal cycle of stuff for the end of her major growth.

Until Next Time...I just felt like complaining today.  I have had some pretty good days here recently with the release of my new book and stuff so I figured if I have a bad day thrown in here and there it's okay to complain.  It's okay for you too. Sometimes bad days are just plain hard to take. Let it all out and be happy again!!!

MILESTONE - A HARD PILL TO SWALLOW (PLUS A BONUS POST!)

Today I will give you two posts for the price of one...Okay for the space of one since you aren't paying to read this. Post 1 is a normal mom's adventures with kids post and Post 2 is an article I wrote for my writer's website JJ Ellis, Romance Author that delves into the mind of a writer. I have two other articles on that site too if you want to check them out (Courage was the first and Imperfections was the second)

POST 1
Okay, so I am big about milestones right?  I talk about them a lot (remember when I was all emotional because my little man preferred more grown up kids shows to Mickey Mouse?)  Well, it seems we have hit another one.

Allergy season is upon us - hardcore and since most allergy medications are over the counter we spend a fortune on them every couple of weeks.  The little one is doing well on zyrtec so she has her own bottle of liquid children's zyrtec and the only antihistamine that doesn't turn Mr. Insane into...well, Mr. Insane times 100 is Claritin so he and Miss Crazy have a bottle of liquid children's Claritin to share.  Then The Freshman decided she was tired of refusing her medicine and wanted to feel better so she needed something to take. (Zyrtec turns her into a crazy woman too). My pocket book started to ache along with my heart in watching my kids suffer.


So, The hubs and I came up with a plan.  The Claritin pills (age 6 and up) are tiny so why not see if Miss Crazy can take them. We get those at his work in bulk for cheap!. So Miss Crazy was given a try on her very first pill.  Could she swallow it? Would our experimental work?  YES!!! My baby girl is no longer a baby girl.  She is a big girl.  She can take pill forms of medicine. She is growing up, I am feeling old, this is an exciting day, I am feeling old, what a cool milestone, I am feeling old...yeah, you get the picture.  Once again this is one of those bittersweet milestones.  (I'm not even going to think about the fact that in 22 days I will be the mother of a high school graduate, and in 26 days the mother of a high school sophomore, a second grader and a kindergartner.)

So now I am happy/sad and my pocketbook is thrilled.  We can buy 400 pills really cheap for The Freshman and Miss Crazy to share and a small bottle of medicine will last Mr. Insane a long time as does the medicine we get for Little Butt.  See, there are advantages to your kids growing up!!!  Rejoice in it :)

Until Next Time...ENJOY LIFE :) There are a lot of benefits to our kids growing up and to us getting older. Embrace it or you might just drive yourself crazy. I have had to learn that lesson the hard way but I finally did. Yes, I get a bit teary eyed at milestones, but I no longer dwell on them to distraction.  There is too much fun to be had, too much life to live to dwell on how old my kids and I are getting.

POST 2

A few weeks after I published my first book, Virgin Voyage, I came to a realization that really stung, but in a way made so much sense. The story I had practically lived, and loved like a child, would never bring me reading pleasure like it did others.

In the first few weeks after publication I truly can not tell you how many times I read the book. I had this urge to see if it was a pleasurable, enjoyable read. I wanted to enjoy it (or hate it) the same way a stranger who purchased it would.

There were short periods of time where I could blank my world out and get caught up in Mari and Graham's, but my world always came crashing back in. (And I'm not talking about  my kids bother me or the phone ringing or someone knocking on the door)  You see, I can never not be the author of Virgin Voyage. I will always read it with a critical eye. 'Should I have done this, or written that, or left that out. Or will my readers enjoy this or that better.' Truthfully I just wanted to live in Mari
and Graham's finished world for fourteen chapters. I guess you could say that I was craving the ability to just be a reader to my book.

I couldn't help how I felt. I knew I shouldn't feel that way but I did. It almost felt like a betrayal to the characters. I created them, I loved them, I nurtured them,  I put them to paper and I enjoyed it thoroughly. But I couldn't experience them as they were meant to be enjoyed.

And then my first reviews started to come in. Not only on Amazon, but through people contacting me personally to tell me how much they loved the book. All of a sudden, everything I've mentioned above didn't seem to matter anymore. Friends, family and strangers were reading my book the way I wanted to, and I realized something, the whole reason I wrote the book in the first place was so people could live it, love it and enjoy it.  Low and behold, they actually were!!!!  I never betrayed Mari and Graham, I gave them a happy life, in more ways than one.

I know I will most likely have the same feelings about future books, but now I will know how to handle it - just sit back and wait, someone will enjoy it and tell me they did, and then
the world inside that book will be complete.

APRIL (SNOW) SHOWERS

You know, sometimes I wonder why in the heck we moved to Wyoming  9 years ago.  (See my blog We Be Hicks) On April 6th is was exactly 9 years since we pulled up in front of our new home 505 miles from our old one. When it is summer and the temps are in the high seventies and low eighties I am loving my life here (i.e. I'm not getting physically sick because of the heat). When I walk outside in October and I don't sweat and I actually breathe in cool, clean, fresh air, yeah those are the times I love it.  But when I woke up this morning and checked the weather I was like "why the f#$% did I move to this godforsaken place? Why? Why? Why? :'(  You see, the weather forecast says snow today and tomorrow - winter storm warning. This in and of itself is not unusual. It happens, usually this time of year it melts quickly and the roads stay clear because we've had a few days in a row of sixty degree temps.  So what did it say today that made me react so differently?  13-16 inches of flippin' snow!!!  What the heck, we rarely get that much snow in one time during the middle of winter!!!! Why in April are we getting a foot of flippin snow when my kids have finally started to get outside and leave me the hell alone to get to go outside and play a bit?

And when I read that we were getting strong winds with it, I almost cried some more.  I hate the wind. I've always hated the wind. I will never like the wind. I was almost crushed by a shed when I was a kid because the wind picked it up and brought it towards me (then thankfully changed direction and blew it back). And what happens when you mix wind and snow - blizzard like conditions. And then I remembered that the hubs has these two days off so at least I wouldn't have to drive in that shiz alone. But still people, come on, it is April and I want spring.

The only good thing I can see coming out of this is that maybe it will tramp the allergens back down for a few days and my poor family can get a break. Maybe. Little Butt and The Senior have both been sick from all of the blasted weather changes and allergens and wind. We need a break here right?!?!

So, we went to the store and stocked up on everything we might need to last us through a possibly big storm and now we are just waiting for it to start. I'm sure the kids will have to go to school tomorrow even if there is a foot of snow on the ground and blizzard like conditions (my kids don't need visibility to cross a somewhat major street to get to the bus stop!) You see, if our district has too many inclement weather days the football players would have to miss the private football camp they are sent to every year and God forbid that would happen. Who cares if parents and students aren't safe certainly not the Natrona County School District #1!!! Sports always must come before safety and academics right?  Wow, I've been kinda sitting on that piece of info for years and it feels

good to shout it out from the roof tops!!! (or the blog tops).

So, what is my point in today's babble?  I really don't have one.  I just wanted to write about things that have bugged me recently so I thought since it was all related to the weather, I would give it a go. :)

Until Next Time...????? Enjoy the good weather when you've got it?  Yeah, that's it.  I'll have something more thought provoking next time.  <3 and love to you all!

SPRING FEVER AND ME!!!

Spring fever doesn't just hit school kids. Guess how I know that?  Yep, it has hit me so hard  I can't even function.  Of course it doesn't help me that my hips are driving me up a wall lately and I think I am coming down with something. Sore, dry throat, earache, stuffy hurting head.  Blah!

I am so excited about the next installment of my Sunset Destiny Romance series but I can't seem to bring myself to work on it much.  I assumed it was because of my hips and not being able to sit comfortably anywhere in the house to type. But then I started thinking about it.  I think I have spring fever.  Even as a school kid I never got it this early.  But then again as a school kid, our spring break was never the first week of March. :/

We had a few days of sixty degree weather and I must say it was heaven! Yeah yeah I know, sixty isn't too warm for most people, but for us here in Centeral Wyoming, that's bikini weather! It was perfect.  We'd had spring break and temps in the 50's and 60's spring must be here so the brain kicks in with spring fever.  And then what happens? I woke up to three inches of snow this morning and more is expected throughout the next few days.  Winter is back! So maybe my spring fever will go back into hibernation?   Yeah, probably not.  Once I get it I am stuck with it. (at least it's not a forever thing right?)

So what does that mean for my novel?  I'm not sure yet.  Maybe when this bug goes away and I'm not achy and stuffy and tired and blah I will feel comfortable enough to sit at the table and type again and I will only have to worry about keeping my mind on track and my novel will complete itself (seemingly not really). Or maybe once I feel better I will still be unable to get my butt up off the couch to head to the table and work. And maybe I will be able to write, but still not be able to figure out how to best structure my complicated  sentences. (Which makes for even more complicated editing).

For some reason I don't see this bout of Spring fever getting any better. And the main reason why is that we are all looking forward to The Senior's graduation. [SCHOOL IS ALMOST OVER!!!] How in the heck can I concentrate when my daughter is going through one of the most stressful, exciting, wonderful times of her life!  And then I have to prepare for the relatives that will invade in May.  That will be much more exciting than concentrating on sentence structure and Grammar. (Although it won't be as exciting as concentrating on my story line. so hmmmm....)

As it is, I have started to let the kids slack on chores and they got so used to it that I had to get tough again. Hopefully my house will shape up but I somehow doubt it will, at least before guests start to arrive.  But that's okay, it's spring right?

I've met people who don't suffer from spring fever and I envy them.  I always have, I probably always will.  I crave watching my kids go outside to play or being able to sleep in, or do whatever they want during the day.  The teachers that pile on the homework start to piss me off this time of year and I know it's wrong to be mad, but come on people it's spring, the weather is changing (in most places at least) It's time to relax and have some fun! Okay, so I know the work still needs to be done, but I DON'T WANNA!!!! I have spring fever after all ;) And all I want to do is play with my new Kindle Fire (a very generous gift) and relax to recover from scraping windows all winter!

Until Next Time...If you get spring fever, enjoy it! But don't let it take over your life because eventually you will HAVE TO get back to work!!!!

PHYSICALLY BROKEN - WHY?

I know it probably sounds like I am in a pretty bad self pity mood a lot lately, but I'm really not.  I am the happiest I have been in many many years.  The kids are doing really good (although we had a slight stress induced altercation between two of them the other day), My relationship is better than it has been in a long time and some of the spark is reignited. And my writing is going great. So what the hell is wrong with me now?  I am in some serious pain lately.  I think my hips are slowly but surely being helped by the exercises I have been doing, but that means I am hurting more with ever newly stretched muscle and popped joint, or could it be something else, something more sinister.

Emotionally I feel the most unbroken I've been in years, but physically I feel unbearably broken.  I am 42 years old and I feel as if my body is falling apart.  I start to feel great and my hips are able to move and the pain is at a minimum one day and then the next day I feel like I'm going to die. So what seems to be causing this problem.  Of course I truly believe the exercises help bring on the good days, but what brings on the bad....Two words...WAL MART.

I swear to you, every time I go to Wal Mart, the following day, I am in so much pain. You see, once upon a time, not too long ago, I worked there as a cashier. When I started working, I was healthy and happy.  About two months in, I started to suffer from intense foot pain. When I went to the doctor to find out what was going on (and maybe fix it so I could keep working) I was told that 90 percent of the foot pain patients they see work at the mart. Wow, my co workers weren't lying when they told me the floors would be the death of many feet, hips, backs and knees.

Come to find out I had plantar fascitis and although I probably would have developed it eventually anyway, it was brought on quicker by the floors I was standing on. I ended up only working there for two and a half months (and a month and a half of leave of absence) before I gave up the glamorous life to be a SAHM again. Within a month I started having my hip problems continuously instead of once or twice a year...and the rest is history. I know that if I have to go shopping, the pain will be worse for awhile, it's just how it is. (and please don't suggest I go to a different store because it really isn't possible.) I hope the exercises I am doing will eventually make me not fear shopping. Stronger hips will make better feeling hips.  And as for the foot, well that's just going to have to wait until I can afford 400 dollar custom inserts. :/

Now here comes the fun part.  I know I was destined to be broken , but I like to mess with people, so when they ask me how I became physically limited, instead of telling them that it is a birth defect (hips/back) or severe allergies (dizziness, sinus, migraine) or my lot in life (plantar fascitis) I just say Wal Mart. You should see the looks I get, especially from The Shooter's Co-workers as he still works for the corporation. I had all of these problems before I started working there, but only occasionally. After a couple of months standing on those floors I became a complete and utter mess. Coincidence? We may never know. It will be one of the greatest mysteries known to man. Um... I mean, who knows right? But I often have to wonder why I don't hurt nearly as much if I wander the mall, or Kmart, or Sam's Club...

Until next time...There are some things in this life that we may never know for sure.  Instead of continuing to dwell on it, we must accept it and move on. 

THE LINE BETWEEN GOOD MOM AND BAD MOM

First off I have a huge favor to ask of all of you. If you have a facebook could you go to the link I post below and vote for my Rizzy girl. She was the special live saving dog I told you all about in the blog PLEASE FORGIVE ME! It would mean a lot to have an abstract portrait of her to help keep her memory alive. Thanks :)

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151344455704086&set=a.10151344453419086.455557.163898744085&type=3&theater

Now for the major story. I know we all have days where we feel like great parents and days where we feel like awful parents.  This is one of the situations where the line between these two get blurred.

I let my son be corrupted and I can't say I am proud of what I did, but truthfully, I can't regret it at this point. You see, Mr. Insane has a crazy history. He was the sweetest most helpful child you had ever met. Then I stopped breast feeding him and the allergies hit hard. We took him to the doctor and they put him on Zyrtec. When the allergies would get really bad a couple of times of year they added Singulair too.

The freshman never could take Zyrtec. It caused her to have really bad behavioral problems on top of her Autistic meltdowns.  It wasn't fun. We started to notice some of the same symptoms in Mr. Insane so we pulled him off of it and they put him on Singulair full time. By now, he still had some temper issues but we figured it was because he had learned bad habits while on the Zyrtec.  Something just seemed off though so I had him tested for Autism...twice. He didn't have it.  They chalked it up to attention seeking because he was having to try to swim his way out of a sea of estrogen in our house.  We went about our way for the next 2.5 years  or so and the behavioral problems came back.

We would take the kids off of the medicine off and on for various reasons. And then one day not too long ago the kids had been about three weeks without it and when we put them back on, Mr Insane started to literally act insane.  It was like he was driven by a machine. constant moving, hitting, swinging and kicking (thank goodness not toward people most of the time.) I was about to take him to the hospital one night when he got really bad and it all suddenly came together in my mind. Every time we put him back on the singular he got worse. We pulled him off of the medication and he has gradually gotten better although he still has some attention seeking tantrum problems and is a hitter to family but not friends.

Okay so now on to how I was a bad mom (although not noticing my son was a wreck because of medicine for 2.5 years is pretty bad). When I had him tested for Autism the doctor recommended that I let him socialize more.  We don't really have any friends locally and he was only used to being around his bossy sisters.  Well, an older couple across the street suddenly had their grand kids living with them. This was an answer to my prayers.  There were two little boys for Mr. Insane and Miss Crazy to play with.  (We tried pre school but they ran out of room.)

These little boys were awful!  They were show offs, liars, undisciplined, sometimes mean, bratty, I could go on but I'm not sure what other words to use.  Thanks to them my kids started saying words like sex, and sexy. And they started cussing a lot! They tried to backtalk and not do what we said but we put a quick stop to that!

I wanted to stop them from seeing these two so badly, but the socialization was doing Mr. Insane a world of good. He started to come out of his shell.  He would actually speak to people in public now. He seemed to be a brighter light in this world suddenly. I had to weigh the pro's and con's of letting the relationship continue. The good these two little devils were doing far outweighed the bad in my mind. They are gone now, moved to Texas or California...thank goodness. And there are two sweet little boys who come around to play now.

I will have to re train them not to curse.  It's getting better but we still have some work to do.  I am up for the challenge though!  Would I have let the relationship continue if I thought they would turn my kids into serial killers or something?  Absolutely not.  I seriously was contemplating ending the relationship by the time the oldest one reached 9 though because he was learning thing that no 8 year old should know. I'm so glad I no longer have to worry about this! I had to chose between the lesser of two evils to help my son and I believe I made the right decision.

Until next time...Sometimes we have to make decisions we are uncomfortable with but as long as we believe it will help the one we love, and stay on top of the situation, we can feel good about what we've done.