NEW MOMMY BLOGGER BOOK!!!

I have a new book about my blog coming out this weekend.  It will be available from create space, amazon and kindle!  I am giving you all a sneak peek at my cover right here and now.

UPDATES!

I got so into writing my novel yesterday that I totally forgot to write a blog.  I didn't feel like getting into anything too deep at 10 pm, so I decided to do an update on past blogs.  And here we go....

1. Pen and Paper, Paper and Pen

Well, it seems that I am slowly training myself to do more of my work on the computer.  Of course it helps that The Shooter bought me a new laptop to use.  But I can now do one or two blogs a week solely using the computer and I have been doing bits and pieces of the novel that way too.  I will even sometimes write down a bunch of ideas that go together on paper and then type them up and transform them into paragraphs of my book.  It is a bit daunting still, but managable.

2. My Baby is Possessed, Um I Mean Obsessed
Well, she still has her obsessions.  Some lesser now, but some are still the same.  She hates having her own drink and she still loves to be nakey all day long.  And now that she is weaned, she is obsessed with being rocked to sleep and our rocking chair is about to fall apart. haha

3. Be Careful What You Wish For - The Weaning of Little Butt
Well, there isn't much to say on this one except that SHE IS FINALLY TOTALLY WEANED! Oh and she kinda loves me again although some days she doesn't bother me much and only wants her two oldest sisters. I still love the little stinker more than anything though :)

4. Complicated mind of a 6 Year Old
She is getting better.  Believe me, she still has her moments but some days are pretty good.  She does seem to be suffering from middle child syndrome and sometimes feels forgotten and unloved but we are trying to fix that.

5. How Toys Drove me to the Brink of Insanity
Well most toy pieces are missing.  They are buried somewhere in one of our toy areas i'm sure.  I threatened the older ones if they threw any pieces away without my permission so i'm sure everything is still in the house.  The board came is still fully intact...because we haven't played it yet.  We put it up out of Little Butt's reach and forgot about it :/

6. Eh I Don't Need Sleep - Or Do I
Well I was getting a lot more sleep there for awhile and then I started working on my novel which threw sleep out the window which I explain in the blog My New Baby.

7. I Love Her... No Matter What
Well, she is still giving us a lot of trouble getting dressed but not nearly as much. She hasn't hurt me since that day and we haven't had any totally awful days since, so I guess whatever was bothering her that day was over quickly.  I'm thinking 2 year molars. :)

8. Judging My Brats
Well, I am still scared out of my mind because the kids have been really good in public...still. At home on the other hand...Anybody want to adopt five misbehavin' kids??? ;)

Until next time...I am working on a big project right now but I will try not to neglect you too much. :D

I LOVE HER...NO MATTER WHAT

Today was rough. You know, one of those days where you feel as if you are truly broken and will never be fixed again. It was one of those days where you actually want to go back in time and change everything. Or at least it makes you wish you had a pack of cigarettes and a couple of shots of whiskey. And I don't drink or smoke!!! But you know I was tempted to give it a shot (pun intended).

 It all started with a girl problem that I won't get into on here, but it basically makes me feel like death and it really makes functioning even harder than it normally is. Then add on top of that a little girl who wakes up and does NOT want to get dressed, so by the time I struggle her into the clothes we are already about 15 minutes later than usual. And then she refuses to step foot out the door unless I am carrying her - down the stairs covered in snow. For those of you who read my introductory blog post, you know I have physical problems that keep me from lifting my baby doll too often let alone carrying her through ice and snow. So we drop Miss Crazy off to school and get home.  My hips feel like they have been through the ringer and since I don't have cigarettes or whiskey in the house and it is only 8:30 am, I get on the computer and work on all of my social media stuff. I actually come thisclose to quitting Facebook entirely. (But I couldn't do that to my fans).

Fast Forward a bit to after lunch. I am so relieved that things have been going smoothly and I start to relax. Big Huge Humongous Gargantuan mistake on my part. Little Butt decides she wants to follow me to the bathroom. Not a problem, I don't know what I would do if I didn't have a kid in there watching me pee :/ However, miss decides she gets to try first.  I put her on and she doesn't go. Yay, it is my turn and I have really got to go. She puts all of her weight on the toilet seat and won't let me lift it.  I have to physically pick her up and move her just so I can go to the bathroom. That starts the whole scream/tantrum cycle. Everything being done, I try to leave the bathroom. Yeah, not so easy when you have a screaming, tantruming almost 2 year old blocking the door and your hip is screaming in pain. So, I finally pull a Houdini and get out of the bathroom and I lie on my bed to stretch that hip.  She cries the whole time and when I get up to go back into the bathroom (part of the girl problem I mentioned earlier) she is right there at the toilet not letting me raise the seat, so we do everything I described above all over again.

By now it is time to pick The Shooter up from work and since Little Butt is a nudist that means getting a diaper, pants and shoes on her.  I am determined to make her walk out this time so I don't have to carry her.  I don't know if I even have the ability to carry her anymore at this point.  She will not let me dress her.  She runs from me, I can't chase her. I lure her over and she struggles so hard I hear my hip pop. Finally I just have to get going and I am hurting so much that I pick her and her pants and shoes up and carry her out to the car in just a diaper and long sleeved shirt. It is 22 degrees.  She was not even phased. I get her hooked into the car (barely as I almost pass out) and put a blanket over her little legs and turn the heater on high. I climb in the car praying that I can actually lift my right leg to drive.  Yay!!!! I'm not totally out yet you damn stupid hip. I CAN STILL DRIVE - barely.

So what is the point of this post you ask? Other than to entertain you, because come on it is funny seeing a 2 year old get the best of a 42 year old three times in one day right.  Hey I laughed so you can too.  No, my point to this post is about the amazing healing power of the heart. I told a 'friend' from a social network site about the happenings and she was so angry and told me that she would have been mad at the child for weeks and that she probably would have been cussing the child out to everyone who would listen for a long time (she doesn't cuss out the child though thank God) I just don't understand.

• Was I angry with her - yes. 
• Did I show that to her - no. 
• Was I frustrated? - yes with her and with me and my 'broken' parts. 
• Did I complain to my friends - yes of course, but I did it in a kind of way that was like 'OMG guess what kind of day I had!' not 'Stupid tantruming kid'
• Do I blame Little Butt for the renewed bad state of my hips? No absolutely not, I am a mom and it is my job to have to pick her up sometimes so if I get hurt again then so be it. 

So, you might ask what was going through my mind during this whole episode. Well truthfully I was thinking things like:

• Is the baby okay, why is she acting like this, is it because her sisters went back to school today, is it because she is still mad at me for weaning her, is she hurting from her 2 year molars?
• What am I going to do if my back totally goes out. I still have a husband and kids to pick up and what if the two little ones here at home need me, will I be able to be there for them?
• God, I love this crying, screaming little baby so much. Please help us through this rough day and let us come out on the other side, alive and well.

Now normally after crying and meltdowns like that she likes to snuggle, but that hasn't been the norm as of late (ever since weaning). All I wanted to do was hold her and love on her.  She wouldn't let me of course. When we went to pick up The Shooter, she fell asleep in the car and he carried her into the house for me and laid her next to me on our bed.  I took that opportunity to snuggle, love and kiss on her before falling asleep holding her hand.  My heart that was broken from having to listen to her scream and cry so much was instantly healed.


Until next time...In the times of anger and hardship while parenting, please remember the love. It WILL pull you through.

EH I DON'T NEED SLEEP...OR DO I????

New Years morning I realized how important sleep truly is. Yes I have been sleep deprived before, after all I was a wild college kid (okay, semi wild - happy now?) and I am the mother of 5 horrible sleepers.

So, how did I come to this earth shattering conclusion  (Hey, it's earth shattering to me so :p). Well you see, it began about 2 1/2 years ago. On June 10th, 2010 I saw a plus sign on a little plastic device and within a week I was extremely sick and every night for the next 2 1/2 years, I didn't sleep for more than 2 hours at a stretch and my awake times would be upwards of 1 1/2 hours.

First I had a warped version of pregnancy induced insomnia and then I had a newborn and then I had an infant/toddler who nursed 2-4 times during the night, e.v.e.r.y. n.i.g.h.t. When I finally weaned her I still found myself waking up several times a night. Your guess is as good as mine as to why I still managed to watch the clock strike 1:15, 2:30, and 4:30 just about every night.

I truly thought I was going to lose my mind from exhaustion (although at the time I didn't realize that is what I was suffering from). The kids were getting on my nerves so easily.  It even got so bad that sometimes I would just let them go at it because I needed to step back and take a breather.  Every little thing that happened annoyed me. The school would pull one of their stupid stunts and I felt like I would explode. Wal Mart got my online order wrong or even lost one of them and I just about had what I affectionately call a 'shit fit.' I mean damn, I even put my almost 2 year old (and my 'Scary Six' year old Miss Crazy) to shame.

Believe it or not, the thing that should have tipped me off the most to how exhausted I really was, was my new found intolerance of the cold. I absolutely love the cold.  I mean if I am going to go outside for less than a half hour I don't wear a jacket unless it is below 20 degrees.  The cold revives and rejuvenates me like nothing else does. But lately, I was cold all the time. It was 40 degrees outside and I was shivering and my teeth were chattering.  I just kept wondering why I was worn down enough to actually feel cold.  I had no clue. And then I started to get achy but I knew I didn't have the flu and the only other time I get achy is when I am over tired.  Why this symptom didn't hit me sooner I have no clue. (Is it stupid that I still didn't totally realize that exhaustion was my problem?  Yeah, don't answer that please)

Slowly since I weaned Little Butt, I have been able to nap more with the kids home on break they would all be together so I could slip away. And then came the best night of my life (okay, maybe not the best, but pretty damn good) New Years Eve I stayed up until just about 1 am and then I fell asleep and I did not move again until almost 6 am.  Yes!  I slept for about 5 straight hours without even one wake up.   [Insert earth shattering conclusion here] You do not even know how good that felt, and I finally realized for sure that exhaustion is what was making me bitchy.  I don't think it was the amount of sleep I was getting that tired me out, but the quality of the sleep.  I mean after all, I had been through a 3 year period when my son was little where I didn't sleep for more than 4 hours a night but I slept for four solid hours and yes I got tired, but I didn't feel as awful as I did this time. I truly wonder how much longer I would have lasted at this level.  I felt on the verge of a major....meltdown? sickness? breakdown?  I'm not sure which it would have been, but something major was coming and I was dreading it.

Now, I'm not quite so worried. I am slightly rejuvenated and I think I have found a few things that will help me sleep better.  Yes, I know there will be days when I am back in my old pattern like when the hip pain is bothering me but that is okay, I am a mom and I expect to be sleep deprived, just not exhausted to the brink of illness. Remember just because we chose to be moms does NOT mean that we are going to take being tired into stride and love every minute of it.  We can love being mothers and still hate being exhausted and complain about it to everyone who will listen.  So next time a tired mom complains to you please just listen and understand it is as real and as important as it would be to someone without kids.

Until next time...Sleep well. :D

FUNNY PICTURE CAPTIONS

When it is hard to deal with the pain I find things I can do to take my mind off of it.  These pictures represent one of the things I used to do.  (Now I just blog ;)) I hope you enjoy them and get a good laugh.

She is still like that 3 years later!

Aww <3

Those of you who read my previous blog posts will get this one :)

She used to rock this look a lot!

She actually did! haha

Hehe

Again, for those of you who read my previous blog posts ;)

I made this one for my mom when she was feeling down.

She often rocked this look too :)

I sneezed while taking pictures and scared her.  Oops!

I'm sure she said this quite often ;)

Yeah, this happens a lot. lol

I just love this one although more likely she was praying to the  Boobie Gods :/

Had to be fast!

Classic!

She is a very contemplative child :)

They are best friends :D

She absolutely hated her crib!  She slept in it for a total of 6 hours her first year and a half :/

STEP AWAY FROM THE BOOBS AND NO ONE GETS HURT

     There are so many things in life that can stress us out: 1.family problems (relatives thinking you are hicks and don’t know how to take care of your kids) 2.health issues (you can’t afford to fix the problem that made you have to quit your job so now your family is in financial hardship) 3.work problems (everyone is going to part time so they don’t have to give health benefits so it is impossible to find a new full time job to better support your family) can throw us for a loop. For me all of the above apply and you might think my life is full of stress because of these, but nope. These problems do cause stress, but not nearly as much as one thing that is seemingly minor, one thing that should flow nice and easy, one thing that is a normal part of a mom’s life (for some). Yep, that’s me, I’m the one FREAKING OUT OVER WEANING MY BABY!!!
All of my kids have been easy to wean.  My first weaned herself at six months.  The second I cut off cold turkey after I almost smothered her with my bountiful boobage when she was two weeks old. My third was a horrible sucker so she just ‘sipped’ off and on for six months.  When I became pregnant with my son, I stopped her cold turkey and really she could have cared less.  My son was addicted with a capital A from day one.  I think he was asking for ‘BB’s’ at 9 months.  I decided to nurse him until he was 2 and as the end drew near I had no idea how I would get him to stop.  I feared this would be the worst time of both of our lives.  On the day before his 2nd birthday I was eating potato chips and some fell into my bra, cutting me.  I asked my wonderful sweet son to stop nursing because mommy 'had an owie' and I gave him my pouty look.  BAM, he was done - no more boobs ever!
Then came my little butt.  She was soooooooo attached from almost day one.  She was a world class nurser even when the girls tried to give out on us after three months of nursing.  Now we are approaching that dreaded 2 year mark.  Like most almost 2 year olds that still nurse, Lily is NOT down to just morning, nap and night time sessions.  She nurses All. The. Damn. Time! I tried telling her that it hurt me and all she did was laugh and play stretchy poppy with my nipples :/ Then recently I was having really bad breast pain problems so I flat out told her no boobies.  She cried for an hour!!! When she started turning a redish purple color I had to give in no matter how much my body needed a break from even more pain.  So now you know why I am stressing so bad.  How the hell am I going to wean this child! She won’t listen to reason (most two year olds don’t - although my boy did) and if I let her cry it out she tries to deprive herself of oxygen and pass out.  I’m going to be nursing this child till she is twenty.  That might make her first date and high school graduation a bit awkward but hey she’s the one who won’t give up the boob right?!?!

As my dad used to say, “it’s the small things that stress us out the most”.

Until next time…<3