UPDATES!

I got so into writing my novel yesterday that I totally forgot to write a blog.  I didn't feel like getting into anything too deep at 10 pm, so I decided to do an update on past blogs.  And here we go....

1. Pen and Paper, Paper and Pen

Well, it seems that I am slowly training myself to do more of my work on the computer.  Of course it helps that The Shooter bought me a new laptop to use.  But I can now do one or two blogs a week solely using the computer and I have been doing bits and pieces of the novel that way too.  I will even sometimes write down a bunch of ideas that go together on paper and then type them up and transform them into paragraphs of my book.  It is a bit daunting still, but managable.

2. My Baby is Possessed, Um I Mean Obsessed
Well, she still has her obsessions.  Some lesser now, but some are still the same.  She hates having her own drink and she still loves to be nakey all day long.  And now that she is weaned, she is obsessed with being rocked to sleep and our rocking chair is about to fall apart. haha

3. Be Careful What You Wish For - The Weaning of Little Butt
Well, there isn't much to say on this one except that SHE IS FINALLY TOTALLY WEANED! Oh and she kinda loves me again although some days she doesn't bother me much and only wants her two oldest sisters. I still love the little stinker more than anything though :)

4. Complicated mind of a 6 Year Old
She is getting better.  Believe me, she still has her moments but some days are pretty good.  She does seem to be suffering from middle child syndrome and sometimes feels forgotten and unloved but we are trying to fix that.

5. How Toys Drove me to the Brink of Insanity
Well most toy pieces are missing.  They are buried somewhere in one of our toy areas i'm sure.  I threatened the older ones if they threw any pieces away without my permission so i'm sure everything is still in the house.  The board came is still fully intact...because we haven't played it yet.  We put it up out of Little Butt's reach and forgot about it :/

6. Eh I Don't Need Sleep - Or Do I
Well I was getting a lot more sleep there for awhile and then I started working on my novel which threw sleep out the window which I explain in the blog My New Baby.

7. I Love Her... No Matter What
Well, she is still giving us a lot of trouble getting dressed but not nearly as much. She hasn't hurt me since that day and we haven't had any totally awful days since, so I guess whatever was bothering her that day was over quickly.  I'm thinking 2 year molars. :)

8. Judging My Brats
Well, I am still scared out of my mind because the kids have been really good in public...still. At home on the other hand...Anybody want to adopt five misbehavin' kids??? ;)

Until next time...I am working on a big project right now but I will try not to neglect you too much. :D

RESPECT DAMN IT!!!

If you don't like hearing people vent, you might want to skip this blog and come back for the next one, although I will try not to be too whiny and preachy. I have been training myself to be more positive, but sometimes I just have to get stuff off my chest and then move on. This was one of those weeks where it seems like everything and everyone was pissing me off, and no I'm not PMSing. ;)

There are some things I observed that got my goat as they say. First, if you don't like listening to kids play and squeal or if you don't like them teasing and touching you, by all means DON'T HAVE ANY OF YOUR OWN, because every time you screech at them or tell them to stop bothering you, they are going to feel unloved and will eventually hate you. But I guess if you don't seem to like them, you won't care if they hate you then right? If a five year old starts to ask you a million questions about what you are doing, by all means, imagine you are gouging your eyes out with a fork, but don't let them know that is what you are thinking! Answer them and when you just can't take it anymore, redirect them and move on.  Kids deserve a bit of respect.  Kids being seen and not heard is a thing of the past and rightly so.  Just because you are a big bad adult doesn't mean that you bullying them will be any less harmful to them than if a peer was doing it.

Another thing that I observed is if you love, hug and mother someone to the exclusion of everyone else, DON'T COMPLAIN when they return your affection and want to be with you a lot.  You created the monster so you have to live with it. If you invite them to sit with you so you don't have to listen to them scream, don't bitch about it to them when they are clam and want to snuggle when you are busy. They deserve to be respected and have the love they show you returned without complaint.

The last thing I observed that bothered me has to do with competitive relationships.  If you have a competitive relationship with someone and they are being mean, DO NOT BE MEAN BACK. It will just start up a viscous cycle that you may never be able to come out of. It will ruin a relationship that may have otherwise thrived. You called me stupid so you are stupid too. Nope, wrong approach to take. There are many better ways to deal with it. Building mutual respect is the key.

I guess my goal in all of this is to point out that respect is seriously lacking in this day and age. It is one thing I really wanted to teach my children (and they do tend to show me some respect) however, it is very hard to teach this concept concerning others when none of their peers or adult role models have any respect for anything or anyone. I am only one person and although I may fail I will keep trying to teach my kids the concept of respect until my dying day. I hope others catch on to this and spread it around. I think our world would be a much better place. After all, I hate it when someone disrespects me. Don't you?

Until next time...It is possible to show respect and to disagree at the same time.  You just have to learn how and be willing to do it. And just because you are older or prettier or smarter doesn't mean you deserve more respect than others do. <3

JUDGING MY BRATS

Okay people, I am in shock right now! We went out to dinner and shopping - all 7 of us, which rarely ever happens. EVERYONE BEHAVED. I REPEAT EVERYONE BEHAVED. Every last child - how in the hell did that happen? I, I, I'm just about speechless! You see, my kids are well behaved - for other people.  When they are around The Shooter and I, they are pure evil most of the time. E.V.I.L. You know, the kids at the store that make you cringe, that's my brood!

So the outings usually go something like this:

1. The Freshman doesn't want to leave the house but we make her. An autistic meltdown follows as does pouting, snapping at others and slamming of dishes. 
2. The Senior takes charge of the kids and gets a bit too mean sometimes because she knows that their misbehavior gives me anxiety. She's just trying to help but sometimes goes overboard.  That girl literally came out of the womb acting like a mom! I remember she used to like to say 'no mama, bad' when I would do something she didn't like ;)
3. Miss Crazy is, well, crazy. She likes to run around and be loud and has a hard time sitting still at the table and she always gets her brother involved.  He copies everything she does and she loves that idea! Can you say INSTIGATOR?
4. Mr. Insane is going through a phase where he is testing how much he can get away with and so he changes his mind a lot (I want ramen for lunch, no a sandwich, no ramen, no a sandwich - it's enough to drive you nuts). And he will only get help (cutting food, getting food from a buffet etc) from a certain person of his choosing and no one else will do. He does  this all very loudly and lets you know emphatically when he is unhappy.
5. Little butt is in the stage where she absolutely refuses to sit in a high chair or a booster which means we are in the process of training her not to get up and stray from the table which is hard to do with Miss Crazy and Mr. Insane egging her on. And you know, it's kind of annoying when she takes turns sitting on everyone's lap. Just ask The Senior, she'll tell ya!

Usually by the end of the meal I am extremely frustrated and I feel like everyone is staring at us. (They may or may not be, but still, it is embarrassing and I just want to crawl into a hole.)

So, what happened to my kids today? I don't really believe in aliens taking over people's bodies, but I think that may have changed tonight! The Freshman complained a bit at first and then participated in dinner without even a whine and when we decided to stop at the store she didn't complain and that usually would have ended up with a screaming fit and her threatening to stay in the car. Not today! She came into the store and even went off by herself to do some 'window shopping'. The senior didn't go overboard. She helped out with getting the little ones food, but left most of the parenting to me and the Shooter! Miss Crazy just sat there the whole time eating.  Lately she has been eating her weight times ten in food. Either she is growing up or she is just too busy eating to act up. Mr. Insane had his moments where he thought about being picky or wanting only a certain person to help him, but recovered quickly and never got very loud considering what he is capable of. And Little Butt sat in her chair playing quietly and eating. Not one time did her little butt (haha) get up and try to wander around. 


And then we went to the store and everyone behaved again. There was no running down the aisles, fits in the middle of the aisles or tantrums of any kind. And for once, I walked out of Pizza Hut and Wal Mart feeling like we were the invisible family that no one even knew was there.  I like that feeling, I really really do :D


Until next time...When you see that kid throwing a fit in the store or restaurant, please don't judge out loud. They might be overwhelmed, tired, getting sick, or just having a really bad day. Yes there is always a chance that the kid is just a plain ol brat, but it isn't your problem or your duty to judge them or their parents vocally. And if you see a parent (or two) struggling with a whole brood of little ones, give them an encouraging smile or a thumbs up because believe me, trying to corral a group like that is not easy, even for an experienced mother. Everyone has off days and everyone has the right to misbehave occasionally.  Be accepting and kind, it will benefit everyone in the end.

I LOVE HER...NO MATTER WHAT

Today was rough. You know, one of those days where you feel as if you are truly broken and will never be fixed again. It was one of those days where you actually want to go back in time and change everything. Or at least it makes you wish you had a pack of cigarettes and a couple of shots of whiskey. And I don't drink or smoke!!! But you know I was tempted to give it a shot (pun intended).

 It all started with a girl problem that I won't get into on here, but it basically makes me feel like death and it really makes functioning even harder than it normally is. Then add on top of that a little girl who wakes up and does NOT want to get dressed, so by the time I struggle her into the clothes we are already about 15 minutes later than usual. And then she refuses to step foot out the door unless I am carrying her - down the stairs covered in snow. For those of you who read my introductory blog post, you know I have physical problems that keep me from lifting my baby doll too often let alone carrying her through ice and snow. So we drop Miss Crazy off to school and get home.  My hips feel like they have been through the ringer and since I don't have cigarettes or whiskey in the house and it is only 8:30 am, I get on the computer and work on all of my social media stuff. I actually come thisclose to quitting Facebook entirely. (But I couldn't do that to my fans).

Fast Forward a bit to after lunch. I am so relieved that things have been going smoothly and I start to relax. Big Huge Humongous Gargantuan mistake on my part. Little Butt decides she wants to follow me to the bathroom. Not a problem, I don't know what I would do if I didn't have a kid in there watching me pee :/ However, miss decides she gets to try first.  I put her on and she doesn't go. Yay, it is my turn and I have really got to go. She puts all of her weight on the toilet seat and won't let me lift it.  I have to physically pick her up and move her just so I can go to the bathroom. That starts the whole scream/tantrum cycle. Everything being done, I try to leave the bathroom. Yeah, not so easy when you have a screaming, tantruming almost 2 year old blocking the door and your hip is screaming in pain. So, I finally pull a Houdini and get out of the bathroom and I lie on my bed to stretch that hip.  She cries the whole time and when I get up to go back into the bathroom (part of the girl problem I mentioned earlier) she is right there at the toilet not letting me raise the seat, so we do everything I described above all over again.

By now it is time to pick The Shooter up from work and since Little Butt is a nudist that means getting a diaper, pants and shoes on her.  I am determined to make her walk out this time so I don't have to carry her.  I don't know if I even have the ability to carry her anymore at this point.  She will not let me dress her.  She runs from me, I can't chase her. I lure her over and she struggles so hard I hear my hip pop. Finally I just have to get going and I am hurting so much that I pick her and her pants and shoes up and carry her out to the car in just a diaper and long sleeved shirt. It is 22 degrees.  She was not even phased. I get her hooked into the car (barely as I almost pass out) and put a blanket over her little legs and turn the heater on high. I climb in the car praying that I can actually lift my right leg to drive.  Yay!!!! I'm not totally out yet you damn stupid hip. I CAN STILL DRIVE - barely.

So what is the point of this post you ask? Other than to entertain you, because come on it is funny seeing a 2 year old get the best of a 42 year old three times in one day right.  Hey I laughed so you can too.  No, my point to this post is about the amazing healing power of the heart. I told a 'friend' from a social network site about the happenings and she was so angry and told me that she would have been mad at the child for weeks and that she probably would have been cussing the child out to everyone who would listen for a long time (she doesn't cuss out the child though thank God) I just don't understand.

• Was I angry with her - yes. 
• Did I show that to her - no. 
• Was I frustrated? - yes with her and with me and my 'broken' parts. 
• Did I complain to my friends - yes of course, but I did it in a kind of way that was like 'OMG guess what kind of day I had!' not 'Stupid tantruming kid'
• Do I blame Little Butt for the renewed bad state of my hips? No absolutely not, I am a mom and it is my job to have to pick her up sometimes so if I get hurt again then so be it. 

So, you might ask what was going through my mind during this whole episode. Well truthfully I was thinking things like:

• Is the baby okay, why is she acting like this, is it because her sisters went back to school today, is it because she is still mad at me for weaning her, is she hurting from her 2 year molars?
• What am I going to do if my back totally goes out. I still have a husband and kids to pick up and what if the two little ones here at home need me, will I be able to be there for them?
• God, I love this crying, screaming little baby so much. Please help us through this rough day and let us come out on the other side, alive and well.

Now normally after crying and meltdowns like that she likes to snuggle, but that hasn't been the norm as of late (ever since weaning). All I wanted to do was hold her and love on her.  She wouldn't let me of course. When we went to pick up The Shooter, she fell asleep in the car and he carried her into the house for me and laid her next to me on our bed.  I took that opportunity to snuggle, love and kiss on her before falling asleep holding her hand.  My heart that was broken from having to listen to her scream and cry so much was instantly healed.


Until next time...In the times of anger and hardship while parenting, please remember the love. It WILL pull you through.