WHAT'S HAPPENING? JUST STUFF!

My kids actually made liars out of me this morning.  In my last blog I said they wouldn't let me sleep in and that they would wake up between 7 and 8 every morning. Well, this morning they didn't wake up until 8:35 and that is only because the trash trucks came and woke them up.  Damn trash trucks!!!

Well, we had a lot happen over the last week some good, some bad. Of course you all know that the oldest graduated a week ago, on Thursday The Hubs had to go to the doctor - the man who never gets sick was sick as hell, on Friday the other kids had their last day of school for the year and on Saturday, I developed the coughing crud that everyone else has had over the last month and a half and something else exciting happened and I can't remember what...Crap, what was that?...hmmm, it's coming back to me...I completed something I think....oh yeah, I FINISHED MY SECOND BOOK!  Book 2 in my series is done (except for editing of course)  I read through it yesterday and loved it.  I have a couple of small additions to make and then it is sent off to editing. When that is done, well it will be on 'shelves' for you to'grab' and read.

This is book two and I still feel as accomplished as I did with book one. I wonder if it will always be this way. I sure hope so, I love this feeling! It is so addicting.  I just wish the hubs hadn't been so sick.  It is hard to be excited about something when the one you love is so sick they can't rejoice with you. Really guys, I have never seen his so sick - Severe sinus infection, cough, high fever, body aches, shakes and shivers, sleeping whenever the need hit him. That just isn't how it's supposed to be for my love. He is healthy and strong a majority of the time.  He was so bad they made him take three days off work.  He is back there now and I hope he is doing well, I think he should have had another two days or so to rest, but I'm not a doctor.  He is gradually getting better and was even joking with me yesterday.  I just hate seeing my romance hero ready to go to sleep at 7 p.m. (How are we supposed to act our my scenes if he's asleep?!) Umm I mean, how is he supposed to help me beta read my book if he's asleep...yeah, yeah, that's what I meant ;)

Until Next Time...When your loved one can't help you celebrate, it really sucks.  You have to learn to live with it and still be happy. It can be done, it's just not as fun!!! :)

PREVIEW OF ALASKAN AMBUSH

Check out 11 excerpts on http://www.writerjjellis.com

“…I still love you.”

A two year relationship that ended because of a difference in lifestyle left Olivia Mannon and Alex Paige missing each other. Though they still loved each other, they lost all contact.

A sprinkling of matchmaking dust, a cruise to Alaska, and a floatplane tour of Misty Fjord National Monument brings them back into each other’s lives; for better or for worse.

Can Olivia change her ‘suite at a five star resort’ lifestyle to agree with Alex’s ‘camping outdoors’ way of life, or will they lose each other again? This time forever…

ON SALE JUNE 2013

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COURAGE

Yesterday was a huge day for my family. Something we had all been working toward finally came to fruition. I became a published author. Everybody is so happy for me and I am grateful for the support.

So the day was all a giant celebration right? Nope. It was at first.  The family went out for lunch and they gave me peace and quiet while I finished up the marketing and kindle publishing. But then as usual  mama started to get a bit overwhelmed. Still excited - absolutely. Still grateful - absolutely. Absolutely one hundred percent overwhelmed - Oh hell yeah!

The Shooter and I decided to go out for dinner alone to celebrate and I perked up a bit, but as soon as we got home I started to slide again.  What the hell had I gotten myself into! People on my Facebook groups were talking about reading what I'd written. Crap what had just happened? Just a couple years ago it was almost impossible for me to let anyone read what I wrote. I had to literally force myself to let my own husband read it, and here I was putting it out there for everyone to read.

I started to second guess myself. What if it sucked.  What if the feedback I got from friends, family and strangers was all a lie.  What if I disappointed my friends when they read the book.  What if, what if, what if.  I had a lot of that going on last night! By the time I went to bed, I was about ready to crawl into a hole and hide forever so I wouldn't have to see the faces/hear the voices/see the posts of people who were reading my book.  I convinced myself that I didn't have any talent whatsoever and that I had just embarrassed myself on a global scale.

I read for a bit before bed - another self published author who I wont' mention by name, and checked Facebook on my phone one last time.  There I found out from a friend that my kindle version was finally available so of course I had to drag my big butt out of bed to get online to check. And there it was, in all it's glory, with a preview of the prologue, chapter 1 and part of 2. I read it and truthfully it was good. Much better than the book I'd just been reading (and it wasn't that bad really). I know I am nowhere near a great writer, I will probably never be the next Steven King, or Nora Roberts, , Edgar Alan Poe, or Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens). But you know, I could be worse and I think I wove a great story. And I know I will get better with time and with each book I write and each bit of studying I do.

So, what did it take for me to be a published author?  Courage. Plain and simple it took courage.  But how did I get that courage?  I am the biggest chicken s**t in the world when it comes to putting myself out there.  I hate criticism and I hate negativity. Well, truthfully I will never know what gave me the courage.  I had a lot of support and great people to work with, but I don't think that would have been enough to get me over my horrible fears.  All I know is that I am grateful for the courage I was able to come up with because this is absolutely the best feeling in the world right now.  I can't count on both hands how many books I've sold so far and the rush is incredible.  I know I will have more moments of self doubt (probably many more) but I am prepared to combat them.......with COURAGE.

Until next time...If you finally find the courage to do something you've always wanted to do but were too afraid to pursue it, then go with the flow!!!! Don't question it, just do it! Courage can pop up in times when you least expect it and for that I will be forever grateful.

MY BOOK COVER

Here you go folks! I promised a sneak peek of the book cover, so here it is.  Keep your eyes and ears open this coming week for release info.  When it happens it will be immediate!

I DID IT!!!

So, guess what I did on Friday?  Yep!  I finished the romance novel I was writing. I think the only thing I've ever been that thrilled about in my life was getting married and giving birth. If my hips hadn't been hurting, I think I could have done some sort of end zone dance or maybe jumped off the roof in joy.  But I just kinda danced around the house and got a lot of hugs from my kids.

These kids (characters in my book) were conceived eight years ago and I just now finally gave birth! Now we are in the editing stage right now.  The senior is an aspiring English teacher so she is doing all of the punctuation/grammar editing and then I and my friend will do content editing. Someday, hopefully, I will be able to hire someone to do the editing because I hate hate hate doing it myself. Layout is pretty much set (and I must say the interior is going to be pretty), we just have to plug in the finished project when I type in all of the changes.  Sigh....Someday I will hire a typist. I used to love to type, but I just can't sit and do it like I want to, because of my hips.

So what's next?  Well, I have to decide on a cover. I never thought this part of the project would be so hard! I want it to be super special though because I can't afford to buy rights to a lustful couple picture to put on there. I have three options right now that I love, but I JUST CAN'T DECIDE!  I have been asking for opinions and it still doesn't make it any easier, because once my friends chose one, I find another style I like.  So, my point with this? It might take another eight years to publish because I can't chose a damn cover! Haha!

So, after the cover is picked we will wrap up all loose ends and it will be time to publish.  I am so excited I can't even concentrate sometimes. lol  It looks like the book will be 5 x 8 and about 313 pages or so (not counting title, copyright etc. pages)  I thought I was going to be lucky to get 200 pages out of it.  So that was a pleasant surprise. This book has a little bit of everything; drama, love, passion, heartbreak, comedy, fun and SEX, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised at how long it is.

So, would you all like to read the synopsis that will appear on the back of my book?  Okay, here it is:  VIRGIN VOYAGE

Example of interior layout

"I've waited a lifetime to touch you like this"

Mari Mannon and Graham Blake always loved each other, but life kept getting in the way. An Alaskan cruise vacation might be just the place to overcome their demons and rebuild the love they once had--to discover a passion they’ve never known. But first, Mari must cast aside her inhibitions to become the independent, carefree woman she once was. And Graham must  learn to believe in love again. Can they find their way, or will everything fall apart for good?

And the good news? There will be four more books in the series. One about each of the Mannon Children - Next up is Alaskan Ambush! If you want to read excerpts of Virgin Voyage visit my other site http://www.writerjjellis.com 

Coming soon: Sneak peek at the cover! (If I ever chose one :/)

Until next time...Follow your dreams no matter how long it takes.  Keep at it, and no matter what, you have to work hard! 

I WANT I WANT I WANT TO EMBARRASS MY KIDS

You know that new car you want so bad you can barely stand it, but then you either can't find one you can afford or one that is just right? Or maybe that new gaming system? Or the new big screen TV? Or the new house? Or the new computer/tablet?

Then suddenly, one day you find just the right one and you can afford it and you finally get it!  You are so unbelievably excited.  You tell everyone you know about it, even strangers. And the minute you get it home/drive it/move in, it is all you can think about and you do everything you can to make it perfect and you don't want to leave it for the first month or more! So much excitement and joy in something so trivial right! You dance, you sing, you jump around and give people high fives (strangers and your kids mostly). But best of all, you embarrass the kids. (**evil grin**) Can you tell which one of those things is my favorite? Remind me one of these days to tell you about dancing in my chair and lip syncing to 80's music while I type my novel.  The kids hope and pray their friends aren't over then. (**another evil grin**)

This is it! (points and jumps up and down)

Well, the other day, I experienced the joy of finding that one perfect thing I have wanted for years. Can you guess what the product was? It was a desktop copy holder. You know, one of those mini easel looking things that hold your papers while you type.  Yep. I had been looking for one for years that would be just right. They were either too expensive (when I first started looking many years ago, they were in the $40.00 range and they all had to be ordered which meant shipping cost too) or I couldn't find just the right one, even at office supply stores. Well, I finally found the perfect one!!! With shipping I will be spending under $16.00. I am so excited I want to shout it from the rooftops. I just have to wait for it to arrive and then I will not let it out of my sight. I will probably even sleep with it. (Don't laugh, it will make me more likely to sleep with it. I'm defiant like that.)

What does this mean for me? It means no more sore neck and shoulders from having to bend over too far when I spend a marathon five hours at the dining room table working on my novel. (I know, I know, I really shouldn't do that, perhaps I should move to the couch for a bit? But don't you understand, I don't have a copy holder so it is even worse to sit on the couch because then the papers are too far away from me to read. Hmmm, maybe I need new glasses too?  I guess that will be the next purchase I get super excited about. But I won't sleep with those or they might break. haha!)

So, what is the point of this post? Is it to not be materialistic?  Nah, I think for many people we can't help but love our toys. I just try to balance that out with caring, charity and friendship. The point to this post is, even if you are weird enough for your kids to make fun of, keep being yourself.  (They'll either get over it or be embarrassed for the rest of their lives, which is great payback for all of the labor, headaches, and heartbreak.)

Until next time...Be yourself no matter what.  You can't be truly happy unless you are truly you!

THE DAYS WHEN I HATE WRITING

This is one of those rare days when I really don't want to write at all.  I just finished a chapter that I thought was going to be awful and it turns out that I actually really LOVE LOVE LOVE it. Then I start on the next chapter and I just can't concentrate. The baby is fussy and I would rather snuggle her.  She will be 2 soon which means she's not going to want to snuggle much longer (most likely) so I get in the time when I can.

I need to write. I need to have the book ready for final editing by the time my kids have a five day weekend next week so they can help me but it just isn't going to happen.  I still have six or seven more chapters to rewrite/edit.  I crave the work, but I just couldn't tonight.  I had to take a break for the evening. I did not work from eight pm on.

Why did I not want to work today?  Well it wasn't just the fussy baby or the high/low of coming off a fabulous chapter.  It was a mix of many things. I finally didn't have to drive the husband to work everyday so I was thrilled but then I found out that a friend suffered a devastating loss{I love you sweetie!} and then my car broke down so we are back to the one car thing.  Then I found out that we have a huge storm coming and I'm not quite ready for it. Oh and lets not forget that I don't have a comfortable place to work. I don't have a desk right now and can't get one. I can't sit at the table because of my bad hips so that leaves the very uncomfortable couch where I can't spread out and work the way I like to.  Now some of these things are actually stupid reasons to be upset (and a couple aren't) but when you add them all up it comes out to be a 'not wanting to write a word for the book' kind of night for me. I needed a break!

Will tomorrow be any better?  I sure hope so. I hope to finish the chapter I am on and at least half of the next one. If for some reason I can't, I think I will have to do the self diagnosis of writers block.  Because then it will be more than just not wanting to write it will be not being able to write.

I hate days like this.  They really mess up how my brain works. But I really am grateful for the novel I am working on and I will love it again soon.

Until next time...Just go with the flow and if that little voice inside you tells you to take a break, DO IT. Don't stress yourself out or you will just make things worse. <3

THE IMPORTANCE OF READING

There has been a lot of reading going on in our house lately.  Between school books and pleasure books and extra books for school (reading race) we haven't done much of anything else.  Most of my reading has been my novel rewrites, but it is still reading.

As I was getting married and planning a family I always wondered if my kids would be avid readers like their father and I. I sure hoped so because I derive so much pleasure out of it.

 When The senior was born I had high hopes...only to have them dashed when she seemed to have no interest in books whatsoever. We would try to read to her and before the first page was through she would be gone, off playing somewhere.  She would never bring us a book we would always have to coax her over to try to read one to her. When she started school her interest in reading did not increase at all.  By the time she was in the second half of first grade we knew there was a problem. She could not read well at all and when we tried to make her it resulted in meltdowns that almost matched her little sister's. She struggled for years and in 6th grade she was in danger of failing her reading class because she refused to read the extra books required, the ones she had to choose herself.  I was at a complete loss, she needed to be able to read properly to get good grades and I believe to succeed. And then one day I suggested she read funny, crazy books that I liked, I figured they might finally spark her interest.  And you know what, it worked!!! I actually recommended Janet Evanovich to an 11 year old.  Yes, I know, not the best parenting move, but damn it it worked! She started to read and slowly moved onto other books and other interests.  She is rarely without a pleasure book these days even when she has more important school books to read for her AP classes.

The Freshman was the exact opposite. From the time she could grab one off the bottom shelf herself, she was never without a book.  She slept with them, she ate with them and she took them everywhere with her.  If I wanted to read to her she was there with a smile on and would sit through book after book.  If I didn't want to read, she was there asking to be read to. But it still came as a shock to me when at the end of her Kindergarten year, she came home with books from school and read them to me.  These were starter books with simple words and I thought that maybe she had memorized them when her teacher read them to her.  I called the teacher...come to find out that they were just learning their sounds and just starting to do a technique with learning to sound out words with these books. Freshman had never seen them until five minutes before class let out.  She had literally taught herself to read. By the second grade she was reading the same books as her fifth grade sister. And to this day she is an avid reader although she will only read specific kinds of books. She also is very rarely without a pleasure book even with all of the school work she has with honors classes.

It makes me very happy that my kids love to read (and not just because I have free proofreaders for my writing!) I think it makes their life richer and they will always have a way to escape the everyday if they need to.

I truly do believe that reading to children is important. Whether it is done at home or at school, it doesn't matter. There is a whole list of reasons why and I won't bore you with them (but Google is a great place to find them). I wish I had continued to force the issue with The Senior so maybe she wouldn't have had so many problems early in school.

 I read to the other three kids now, even if they wander off, I continue to read.  And they always see someone in the house with a book in their hands. I truly hope this helps them in some way.

 What is really exciting for me is to see Miss Crazy in action.  It is so thrilling to sit here and listen to her read Junie B Jones to me when just last year she could only read words like the fat cat sat on the rat (haha).

Until next time...Read to your kids and let them see you read even if it is just magazines or newspapers. There are varying opinions on the subject, but I believe it helps them have the foundation to succeed.

MY NEW BABY

I am in the process of giving birth again. Only this time the 'creature' I give birth to will not be a child so to speak. It will be one of the great loves of my life, but it will not be a breathing, squealing, eating, sleeping, pooping child.  This particular birth is from my mind.  My first Novel - Virgin Voyage.

Last night when I was laying there thinking of how the heck I was going to function on such little sleep I realized that the novel I am writing is very similar to a child. It causes worry, frustration, sleepless nights, and complete and utter joy. All of the things my children have inflicted upon me time and time again through the years. By the time my writing career is over I wonder how many 'children' I will have.  Many I hope because I wouldn't trade these things for the world.

You see, I started writing this novel in 2005. I fell totally, madly, deeply in love with all of the characters, especially the two main characters. I ate, drank, and slept this story. It was so hard for me because I always doubt my abilities to tell a good story but I loved everything about it so much that I couldn't imagine not finishing it.  Well, I eventually did finish it and sent a proposal to a publisher.  The minute I sent the query letter in the mail I knew I had made a mistake.  These characters and story would not fit in with this company. I didn't really want them to either. I would have to change too much and sacrifice too much.  Well when the rejection letter came saying the story didn't fit their requirements I was of course a bit hurt, but also very relieved.  I vowed to find a better way to showcase this special work.  But not quite yet.  I had worked on it so much that I could barely look at it after I finished it. It caused me way too much anxiety. I was afraid on one hand to spoil it and on the other hand to have it rejected. So here we are almost 8 years later and thanks to this blog I finally have the courage to tackle it again.


Here is where the worry comes in : The first thing I did was cut some crap from it.  Boy my writing skills have come a long way since then! Stuff I thought was an integral part of the story turned out to be excess fluff that just had to go. It took me a month of fretting and worrying daily to finally decide that I had the courage to do it. And once I did, the product I had left started to make me very excited. I started to fall completely in love with the characters and story all over again.

Now comes the frustration: Trying to get this new Chapter 1 perfect is driving me nuts! Once again I am second guessing my writing skills and some of my story devices to the point that if I don't just stop and be happy with what my three proof readers says is great, I will literally go flippin insane. (See mom sitting on the couch staring blankly at everyone for the rest of her life) AAAAAAHHHHHHHH. And you know what? Each subsequent chapter is going to be the same damn torture.

That brings us to the sleepless nights. Until this novel is complete and I upload it to Create Space, I will probably not sleep well (and as those who regularly read my blog know, that isn't good since I haven't slept well much of the last two years and 8 months). I lay awake thinking about these characters and the story and what I could do to make it better. I toss and turn wondering if what I am doing is right and if I am good enough (Yep, I"m full of self doubt yo!). And then I lay there wondering about the characters and story all over again.  At least I love these things that keep me awake at night right?  (Kids included ;))

Well now we will end with complete and utter joy: How could I not be totally thrilled with these characters that I love so much. How could I not be thrilled with sharing them with people who want to see me succeed (and total strangers - now that is scary!) Everything about this book whether it is a success or a giant failure is going to bring joy and peace to my life because it is my first, and will probably be my best loved NOVEL!!!

Until next time...If you have a passion for something, just do it and have fun and fall in love with it. The happiness it brings is indescribable and the ride to get there is crazy enjoyable.