SNUGGLES, LOVES AND BOOBIES

I was able to do something last night that I haven't done in a long, long time. I was able to snuggle my baby girl. We used to co-sleep but then my poor hips just couldn't take it anymore so I moved her in with two of her siblings. Last night my baby doll woke up crying and wanted me so Gwen brought her in. Her poor nose was all stuffy and I think her throat was dry to the point of being a bit sore. (It's allergy season in our house!) As soon as she came into my arms and I laid her next to me she snuggled right up and it felt so good. My baby doll hasn't been too lovey with me since I weaned her. (Yeah, if you remember those blogs, she wasn't too happy about it.) She hasn't done this snuggle thing to me in so so long. I was overjoyed and I wrapped my arms around her. We dozed together for hours. She kept waking up crying, saying ouch ouch but then my rubs would calm her down and she would doze again.  Then at one point I woke up startled and when I opened my eyes she was staring at me smiling.  She moved her head over and put it on my chest. "I miss mommy's boobies," she said and fell quickly asleep. She slept peacefully for hours after that. (I can hardly walk now, but it was worth it I think. :) )

So, the point of this story...Yeah, I was all thinking my baby doll was starting to love me again but it turns out that she never loved me, she only loved my boobies. ;)  hehe. Actually because she loves my nourishing body parts, I know for sure that I am loved by her. It might only be for that small window of time, before kids start to 'hate' their parents, but I'll take it.

I can't believe how much I adore this little girl. The pregnancy was rough...no, beyond rough. It nearly destroyed me. I didn't want another baby and I didn't think I could handle another baby and I was sick from day one to the final day.  I was terrified of another c-section and had plans to trick our local hospital into letting me have another VBAC which was against their policy.  And then I got even sicker...pre eclampsia and those plans went down the tube so I was faced with a surgery that terrified me and that I didn't want.  But as soon as the anesthesiologist adjusted my pillow beneath my neck properly and I felt like I could breathe again, I just suddenly knew. I knew everything would be okay. I would love this baby, I would be able to handle this baby and this baby would always be welcome in our lives.

I'm glad she is so attached to her siblings. After all, they will hopefully be around a lot longer than I will. But I am also glad that she knows who her mama is but realizes that I'm not the only one in the world who loves her.  This baby will always be so incredibly loved because she has a group of people surrounding her that are family, that will make sure she is on the right track.  Do you think my baby doll is lucky?  I sure do! The joys of being the baby of the family...<3

Until Next Time...Love is shown in many ways. You just have to be receptive to what isn't always obvious to be able to see it. (Yep. I know my baby loves me when she talks about my boobies. :/)