Wednesday, January 30, 2013


So I said I was going to cut back to two blog posts a week - Monday and Friday.  Well while driving The Shooter to work today I came up with a blog idea.  So I guess I will just have to say that I may only get two a week done while I am working on my novels but then again I might get three.  I advertise heavily when I put a new one up, so stay tuned :)

I have been asked to do a few more blogs about how my limitations affect life or how I deal with them or just information about them. So here you go!

Some days when you are 'broken' you have to psych yourself out to make sure you get through the day. For me the main worry is worrying about how I am going to juggle getting Little Butt in and out of the car, down the slick steps and across the icy/snowy pavement a thousand times when I am hurting and can't bend very well. (Okay, not a thousand times, but quite a few. It just seems like a thousand when I'm hurting)

The pain is usually pretty bad when I first wake up so I can't psych myself up for anything (except going back to bed). And when the kids are running around, being crazy and trying to get ready to leave the house I can't psych myself up either because I am faced with the prospect of immediately having to get them out of the house and into the car in one piece.

Recently I found the perfect place to psych myself up for the day when I need it.  We have two vehicles but one is not working so I have to take the Shooter to work (no physical ability required) and pick him up (have to get the kids in the car by myself).

Some days he has to go in at five, six or seven a.m., in a town of 50,000 people the streets are pretty much deserted at that time of the morning.  The minute The Shooter leaves the car I start to give myself the ultimate pep talk. (and there are no kids to interrupt me and no horrible drivers to divert my attention and it is so quiet out there). I am able to  tell myself that I can do this no matter what.  That even if Little Butt gives me problems getting dressed I can do it.  And you know what? It has been working.  I find it much easier to get through the day when I have that quiet time to prepare myself .

Now here comes the you thought there wouldn't be one this time right? Well you see, I don't want to drive The Shooter to work.  I hate getting up so early and I hate driving in the dark. This leaves me with the question of what I will do to psych myself up when the tax refund comes and we fix his car.  I guess I could wake up a half hour before the kids, give myself fifteen minutes to stretch out some of the pain, and do it then. (I'm known for ditching plans to wake up earlier than absolutely necessary though.) I could go outside the night before where it is quiet and walk around for half an hour in the dark to psych myself out (although in the winter it is cold and in the summer it stays light way too late). Truthfully, I'm not sure what I will do once I don't have to drive the husband to work anymore, but you know, maybe that is half the problem. It really stresses me out to have to add that to my day.  And taking him to work might not include getting anyone in and out of the car by myself, but picking him up does. Maybe when I don't have to do that anymore I won't need so much preparation to get ready for my day because I won't have that extra pressure on my time and physical abilities. Who knows though. I guess we will see what happens when the time comes.  NOTE to my wonderful husband: Just because I hate having to drive you to and from work doesn't mean I don't love you <3

Until next time...Enjoy the quiet times, don't take them for granted. You can accomplish a lot in just a short time of contemplation.

Monday, January 28, 2013


First off I have a huge favor to ask of all of you. If you have a facebook could you go to the link I post below and vote for my Rizzy girl. She was the special live saving dog I told you all about in the blog PLEASE FORGIVE ME! It would mean a lot to have an abstract portrait of her to help keep her memory alive. Thanks :)

Now for the major story. I know we all have days where we feel like great parents and days where we feel like awful parents.  This is one of the situations where the line between these two get blurred.

I let my son be corrupted and I can't say I am proud of what I did, but truthfully, I can't regret it at this point. You see, Mr. Insane has a crazy history. He was the sweetest most helpful child you had ever met. Then I stopped breast feeding him and the allergies hit hard. We took him to the doctor and they put him on Zyrtec. When the allergies would get really bad a couple of times of year they added Singulair too.

The freshman never could take Zyrtec. It caused her to have really bad behavioral problems on top of her Autistic meltdowns.  It wasn't fun. We started to notice some of the same symptoms in Mr. Insane so we pulled him off of it and they put him on Singulair full time. By now, he still had some temper issues but we figured it was because he had learned bad habits while on the Zyrtec.  Something just seemed off though so I had him tested for Autism...twice. He didn't have it.  They chalked it up to attention seeking because he was having to try to swim his way out of a sea of estrogen in our house.  We went about our way for the next 2.5 years  or so and the behavioral problems came back.

We would take the kids off of the medicine off and on for various reasons. And then one day not too long ago the kids had been about three weeks without it and when we put them back on, Mr Insane started to literally act insane.  It was like he was driven by a machine. constant moving, hitting, swinging and kicking (thank goodness not toward people most of the time.) I was about to take him to the hospital one night when he got really bad and it all suddenly came together in my mind. Every time we put him back on the singular he got worse. We pulled him off of the medication and he has gradually gotten better although he still has some attention seeking tantrum problems and is a hitter to family but not friends.

Okay so now on to how I was a bad mom (although not noticing my son was a wreck because of medicine for 2.5 years is pretty bad). When I had him tested for Autism the doctor recommended that I let him socialize more.  We don't really have any friends locally and he was only used to being around his bossy sisters.  Well, an older couple across the street suddenly had their grand kids living with them. This was an answer to my prayers.  There were two little boys for Mr. Insane and Miss Crazy to play with.  (We tried pre school but they ran out of room.)

These little boys were awful!  They were show offs, liars, undisciplined, sometimes mean, bratty, I could go on but I'm not sure what other words to use.  Thanks to them my kids started saying words like sex, and sexy. And they started cussing a lot! They tried to backtalk and not do what we said but we put a quick stop to that!

I wanted to stop them from seeing these two so badly, but the socialization was doing Mr. Insane a world of good. He started to come out of his shell.  He would actually speak to people in public now. He seemed to be a brighter light in this world suddenly. I had to weigh the pro's and con's of letting the relationship continue. The good these two little devils were doing far outweighed the bad in my mind. They are gone now, moved to Texas or California...thank goodness. And there are two sweet little boys who come around to play now.

I will have to re train them not to curse.  It's getting better but we still have some work to do.  I am up for the challenge though!  Would I have let the relationship continue if I thought they would turn my kids into serial killers or something?  Absolutely not.  I seriously was contemplating ending the relationship by the time the oldest one reached 9 though because he was learning thing that no 8 year old should know. I'm so glad I no longer have to worry about this! I had to chose between the lesser of two evils to help my son and I believe I made the right decision.

Until next time...Sometimes we have to make decisions we are uncomfortable with but as long as we believe it will help the one we love, and stay on top of the situation, we can feel good about what we've done.

Friday, January 25, 2013


There has been a lot of reading going on in our house lately.  Between school books and pleasure books and extra books for school (reading race) we haven't done much of anything else.  Most of my reading has been my novel rewrites, but it is still reading.

As I was getting married and planning a family I always wondered if my kids would be avid readers like their father and I. I sure hoped so because I derive so much pleasure out of it.

 When The senior was born I had high hopes...only to have them dashed when she seemed to have no interest in books whatsoever. We would try to read to her and before the first page was through she would be gone, off playing somewhere.  She would never bring us a book we would always have to coax her over to try to read one to her. When she started school her interest in reading did not increase at all.  By the time she was in the second half of first grade we knew there was a problem. She could not read well at all and when we tried to make her it resulted in meltdowns that almost matched her little sister's. She struggled for years and in 6th grade she was in danger of failing her reading class because she refused to read the extra books required, the ones she had to choose herself.  I was at a complete loss, she needed to be able to read properly to get good grades and I believe to succeed. And then one day I suggested she read funny, crazy books that I liked, I figured they might finally spark her interest.  And you know what, it worked!!! I actually recommended Janet Evanovich to an 11 year old.  Yes, I know, not the best parenting move, but damn it it worked! She started to read and slowly moved onto other books and other interests.  She is rarely without a pleasure book these days even when she has more important school books to read for her AP classes.

The Freshman was the exact opposite. From the time she could grab one off the bottom shelf herself, she was never without a book.  She slept with them, she ate with them and she took them everywhere with her.  If I wanted to read to her she was there with a smile on and would sit through book after book.  If I didn't want to read, she was there asking to be read to. But it still came as a shock to me when at the end of her Kindergarten year, she came home with books from school and read them to me.  These were starter books with simple words and I thought that maybe she had memorized them when her teacher read them to her.  I called the teacher...come to find out that they were just learning their sounds and just starting to do a technique with learning to sound out words with these books. Freshman had never seen them until five minutes before class let out.  She had literally taught herself to read. By the second grade she was reading the same books as her fifth grade sister. And to this day she is an avid reader although she will only read specific kinds of books. She also is very rarely without a pleasure book even with all of the school work she has with honors classes.

It makes me very happy that my kids love to read (and not just because I have free proofreaders for my writing!) I think it makes their life richer and they will always have a way to escape the everyday if they need to.

I truly do believe that reading to children is important. Whether it is done at home or at school, it doesn't matter. There is a whole list of reasons why and I won't bore you with them (but Google is a great place to find them). I wish I had continued to force the issue with The Senior so maybe she wouldn't have had so many problems early in school.

 I read to the other three kids now, even if they wander off, I continue to read.  And they always see someone in the house with a book in their hands. I truly hope this helps them in some way.

 What is really exciting for me is to see Miss Crazy in action.  It is so thrilling to sit here and listen to her read Junie B Jones to me when just last year she could only read words like the fat cat sat on the rat (haha).

Until next time...Read to your kids and let them see you read even if it is just magazines or newspapers. There are varying opinions on the subject, but I believe it helps them have the foundation to succeed.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013


I got so into writing my novel yesterday that I totally forgot to write a blog.  I didn't feel like getting into anything too deep at 10 pm, so I decided to do an update on past blogs.  And here we go....

1. Pen and Paper, Paper and Pen
Well, it seems that I am slowly training myself to do more of my work on the computer.  Of course it helps that The Shooter bought me a new laptop to use.  But I can now do one or two blogs a week solely using the computer and I have been doing bits and pieces of the novel that way too.  I will even sometimes write down a bunch of ideas that go together on paper and then type them up and transform them into paragraphs of my book.  It is a bit daunting still, but managable.

2. My Baby is Possessed, Um I Mean Obsessed
Well, she still has her obsessions.  Some lesser now, but some are still the same.  She hates having her own drink and she still loves to be nakey all day long.  And now that she is weaned, she is obsessed with being rocked to sleep and our rocking chair is about to fall apart. haha

3. Be Careful What You Wish For - The Weaning of Little Butt
Well, there isn't much to say on this one except that SHE IS FINALLY TOTALLY WEANED! Oh and she kinda loves me again although some days she doesn't bother me much and only wants her two oldest sisters. I still love the little stinker more than anything though :)

4. Complicated mind of a 6 Year Old
She is getting better.  Believe me, she still has her moments but some days are pretty good.  She does seem to be suffering from middle child syndrome and sometimes feels forgotten and unloved but we are trying to fix that.

5. How Toys Drove me to the Brink of Insanity
Well most toy pieces are missing.  They are buried somewhere in one of our toy areas i'm sure.  I threatened the older ones if they threw any pieces away without my permission so i'm sure everything is still in the house.  The board came is still fully intact...because we haven't played it yet.  We put it up out of Little Butt's reach and forgot about it :/

6. Eh I Don't Need Sleep - Or Do I
Well I was getting a lot more sleep there for awhile and then I started working on my novel which threw sleep out the window which I explain in the blog My New Baby.

7. I Love Her... No Matter What
Well, she is still giving us a lot of trouble getting dressed but not nearly as much. She hasn't hurt me since that day and we haven't had any totally awful days since, so I guess whatever was bothering her that day was over quickly.  I'm thinking 2 year molars. :)

8. Judging My Brats
Well, I am still scared out of my mind because the kids have been really good in public...still. At home on the other hand...Anybody want to adopt five misbehavin' kids??? ;)

Until next time...I am working on a big project right now but I will try not to neglect you too much. :D

Monday, January 21, 2013


I am in the process of giving birth again. Only this time the 'creature' I give birth to will not be a child so to speak. It will be one of the great loves of my life, but it will not be a breathing, squealing, eating, sleeping, pooping child.  This particular birth is from my mind.  My first Novel - Virgin Voyage.

Last night when I was laying there thinking of how the heck I was going to function on such little sleep I realized that the novel I am writing is very similar to a child. It causes worry, frustration, sleepless nights, and complete and utter joy. All of the things my children have inflicted upon me time and time again through the years. By the time my writing career is over I wonder how many 'children' I will have.  Many I hope because I wouldn't trade these things for the world.

You see, I started writing this novel in 2005. I fell totally, madly, deeply in love with all of the characters, especially the two main characters. I ate, drank, and slept this story. It was so hard for me because I always doubt my abilities to tell a good story but I loved everything about it so much that I couldn't imagine not finishing it.  Well, I eventually did finish it and sent a proposal to a publisher.  The minute I sent the query letter in the mail I knew I had made a mistake.  These characters and story would not fit in with this company. I didn't really want them to either. I would have to change too much and sacrifice too much.  Well when the rejection letter came saying the story didn't fit their requirements I was of course a bit hurt, but also very relieved.  I vowed to find a better way to showcase this special work.  But not quite yet.  I had worked on it so much that I could barely look at it after I finished it. It caused me way too much anxiety. I was afraid on one hand to spoil it and on the other hand to have it rejected. So here we are almost 8 years later and thanks to this blog I finally have the courage to tackle it again.

Here is where the worry comes in : The first thing I did was cut some crap from it.  Boy my writing skills have come a long way since then! Stuff I thought was an integral part of the story turned out to be excess fluff that just had to go. It took me a month of fretting and worrying daily to finally decide that I had the courage to do it. And once I did, the product I had left started to make me very excited. I started to fall completely in love with the characters and story all over again.

Now comes the frustration: Trying to get this new Chapter 1 perfect is driving me nuts! Once again I am second guessing my writing skills and some of my story devices to the point that if I don't just stop and be happy with what my three proof readers says is great, I will literally go flippin insane. (See mom sitting on the couch staring blankly at everyone for the rest of her life) AAAAAAHHHHHHHH. And you know what? Each subsequent chapter is going to be the same damn torture.

That brings us to the sleepless nights. Until this novel is complete and I upload it to Create Space, I will probably not sleep well (and as those who regularly read my blog know, that isn't good since I haven't slept well much of the last two years and 8 months). I lay awake thinking about these characters and the story and what I could do to make it better. I toss and turn wondering if what I am doing is right and if I am good enough (Yep, I"m full of self doubt yo!). And then I lay there wondering about the characters and story all over again.  At least I love these things that keep me awake at night right?  (Kids included ;))

Well now we will end with complete and utter joy: How could I not be totally thrilled with these characters that I love so much. How could I not be thrilled with sharing them with people who want to see me succeed (and total strangers - now that is scary!) Everything about this book whether it is a success or a giant failure is going to bring joy and peace to my life because it is my first, and will probably be my best loved NOVEL!!!

Until next time...If you have a passion for something, just do it and have fun and fall in love with it. The happiness it brings is indescribable and the ride to get there is crazy enjoyable.

Friday, January 18, 2013


Miss Crazy didn't want to do her nightly reading race assignment and boy did she throw a fit about it. You know one of those fits where you hope the neighbors suddenly put earplugs in right before the tantrum began. After the start she had in school, I often worry about whether she is being pushed too hard. When she entered Kindergarten she didn't recognize all of her ABC's and couldn't count above 15. By the third month of school she was in advanced math and reading.  Next week she starts 2nd grade math and is only 1/2 way through first grade. Sometimes I think the schools are pushing the kids too hard, I mean this is nothing like what I learned in Kindergarten, hell, it isn't even close to what The Senior and Freshman learned their first year in school.  But in this case I don't think she is being pushed too far (although it always enters my mind when stuff like this happens) This particular incident was a classic case of the computer being too inviting before homework was done.  We can deal with that!  And of course, knowing how my mind works, this started me thinking of the bigger picture (not to mention The Shooter and I having this conversation just the other day and him mentioning that I should write a blog about it)

Are we sometimes pushing our kids too far? Do we expect too much of them? And I'm not talking about what schools teach either.  I'm talking about the mentality that you MUST get straight A's, you MUST win every contest, you MUST be the best at your sport. If the child has never failed before, what will happen when they finally run into that big wall of failure that is bound to pop up in front of them someday. What happens when they get that one college professor who doesn't dole out A's easily or what happens when the new kid moves to town who has been playing the sport longer and does it better.

As a child, disappointing your parents can be a huge deal and as you get older, that moves on to bosses, significant others, peers and sometimes even strangers. Am I saying we should just let our kids fail left and right and not even get them to try?  No, definitely not! We need to let them know that we expect them to do their best and try their hardest but that it is okay to fail sometimes.  After all, failure is the stepping stone to success. We MUST know how to fail in order to truly succeed and be happy with that success. 

Not to mention how failure can affect people sometimes.  Someone I used to know was popular, athletic, got straight A's and then she went to college. While there, she suddenly couldn't make the team, get the popular guys and A's were harder to come by.  She married the first guy who came along, gave up on her educational/professional dreams and got involved with some less than stellar people...all because she had never failed before and thought that life was going to be a bunch of successes.  Luckily the same parents who pushed her too hard realized what they had done and helped her pull out of the bad places she went.  She now has a new husband, wonderful kids and a great career, although not the one she had dreamed of. She once told some former classmates that she wished she had failed just once as a child.

While doing research for a paper, the Senior read about a man who had so much pressure from his family to be the best academically that when he didn't receive one academic achievement at the end of his school career he killed seven people and himself. I couldn't imagine being that upset over something like that.  But as a child I was taught to do my best and if I failed, I picked myself back up and tried again.  I truly believe that taught me how to function in this life. I fail everyday (especially physically) but I keep getting up and trying again and guess what, I'm not afraid to fail and I am very happy when I succeed. I have a good life.

Until next time...If your child doesn't get an A in that one class, remember that it is okay. Teach your children that failure just happens sometimes and it will only serve to make them better people. The Shooter always likes to say that the only time in his life that failure wasn't an option was in the military when he was dealing with firearms and explosives. Yeah, I can see that. :)

Wednesday, January 16, 2013


For parents of more than one child or if you plan to have more than one:

If you are lucky they all have different personalities, unique and special. If everyone were the same it would be kinda boring right? But then can be exhausting keeping up with all of the different quirks, likes and dislikes. Then for my family, throw Autism into the mix and you have one wild ride. It really never gets boring that is for sure!

What started me thinking of this topic? Simple, it was a trip to the Pizza Hut buffet. We rarely go out for pizza unless it is to a buffet because we can never agree on toppings.  Every child has their own likes, dislikes and texture problems and The Shooter and I have food intolerance's to contend with so either we order a whole lot of pizzas or we go to a buffet. And since we don't really want to spend that much on dinner, the buffet it is! (Besides, I am a salad fanatic and if I want more than lettuce and carrot slivers on a salad I have to go there to get it! And the best blue cheese in town too!)

So, how do my kids personalities differ? Haha, let me tell you!
  • The Senior is a total mom figure which means that she believes she is always right and that her word is law. Unfortunately she tries to use it on adults and older kids rather than just the little ones when she is babysitting. She sometimes has to be reminded that she is just a kid and she needs to have fun. Mom, mature, playing it safe, a worrier, and overtaking are all words that I would use to describe her personality. (I'll tell you one thing though, when I get old and decrepit - more so than I already am - I want her to be the one to coordinate my care - she is totally capable)
  • The Freshman is like a big kid with major obsessions. She has a routine that she likes to follow and if you change things up it really affects her functioning. She can also be wild and fun and hilarious. She knows how to let loose as long as it is on her terms. She sometimes has to be reminded that there are others to consider in her plans. I know her Autism affects her personality greatly.  Loud, Crazy, Fun and excitable are the words I would use to describe her. (When I need cheering up, she can get the job done even if she has to practically stand on her head!)
  • Miss Crazy is the rebel, suffers from middle child syndrome and also has a bit of the mom bug that bit her sister. She wants what she wants and knows how to make you suffer if she doesn't get it. And that pout is hard to resist...but I've learned how finally! She is also the child who tries to get attention (mostly positive) because she sometimes feels ignored and left behind because she is the middle child. And of course since she is more like her oldest sister than any other sibling, she tends to act as surrogate mom to everyone, especially the younger two. To describe her personality I would probably use words like, wild, energetic, pouty, sassy and well, just plain crazy ;) (When I need to be reminded to enjoy the simple things in life, I just look to her. She works better than my Prozac sometimes)
  • Mr. Insane is a hard one to describe.  He has a hard time having a personality of his own because of two things. First, he has four mothers. All of the older girls treat him like they are the mom and it really has made him a bit of a hot head.  I think I would be too if people who were my peers were always trying to boss me around and getting me to do their bidding! And second he was on a medication (Singulair) for about three years that really affected his behavior.  Unfortunately this was during a big developmental time for him and he learned some really bad behaviors and habits that we are in the process of breaking.  He is doing well most of the time, but his bossy older siblings and sometimes others who are bossy can trigger some meltdowns. To describe my son I would use words like sweet, understanding, helpful, loving, crazy and physically insane (i.e. daredevil). I think his personality will be different once all of the medicine is out of his system and we, as a family, work on people NOT trying to be an extra mom (or 3). ( He is my rock, I look at him for strength because sometimes he shows me how incredibly strong he is in bouncing back from what he has been through.)
  • Little Butt is your typical youngest child.  She loves to trigger her siblings for good and bad and she loves to show off to get praise from everyone. She is special for many reasons and boy does she know it. I think when she grows up she will be the biggest smart ass too :/ Her personality is still developing and changing, but right now I would describe her as sweet, helpful, crazy, physically insane (i.e. daredevil) manipulative and sassy. (She is totally my sanity. She and I went through a lot together while she was in the womb.  I didn't even want to have a fifth child and the mentality of having to put up with all of the sickness and find room to love this little surprise was very hard on me. Every time I look at her I know that shocking surprises can be worth every hardship you endure to make them worthwhile )

Do I dare say that I have a little bit of everything in this group. Seriously,  I probably have every type of personality mixed in there. At any given moment I might be experiencing mature, hilariously funny, sassy, physically insane and manipulative personality traits from these crazy wonderful kids. It's not boring for sure, but it can be a bit draining. Do I mind that? No, not so much.  I love each and every personality trait and quirk of all of my kids because that is what makes them who they are.  I have to rejoice in their differences to encourage their individuality. I do not want little clones running around my house!!!  And if they start to drive me nuts, I just escape into my writing or I send them to their rooms to be who they are... the heck away from me ;)

Until next time...embrace individuality, yours and your loved one's. We are who we are and we are happier when we can express that!

Tuesday, January 15, 2013


Here we go again! These seem to be popular posts so here is the next batch :)

Monday, January 14, 2013


If you don't like hearing people vent, you might want to skip this blog and come back for the next one, although I will try not to be too whiny and preachy. I have been training myself to be more positive, but sometimes I just have to get stuff off my chest and then move on. This was one of those weeks where it seems like everything and everyone was pissing me off, and no I'm not PMSing. ;)

There are some things I observed that got my goat as they say. First, if you don't like listening to kids play and squeal or if you don't like them teasing and touching you, by all means DON'T HAVE ANY OF YOUR OWN, because every time you screech at them or tell them to stop bothering you, they are going to feel unloved and will eventually hate you. But I guess if you don't seem to like them, you won't care if they hate you then right? If a five year old starts to ask you a million questions about what you are doing, by all means, imagine you are gouging your eyes out with a fork, but don't let them know that is what you are thinking! Answer them and when you just can't take it anymore, redirect them and move on.  Kids deserve a bit of respect.  Kids being seen and not heard is a thing of the past and rightly so.  Just because you are a big bad adult doesn't mean that you bullying them will be any less harmful to them than if a peer was doing it.

Another thing that I observed is if you love, hug and mother someone to the exclusion of everyone else, DON'T COMPLAIN when they return your affection and want to be with you a lot.  You created the monster so you have to live with it. If you invite them to sit with you so you don't have to listen to them scream, don't bitch about it to them when they are clam and want to snuggle when you are busy. They deserve to be respected and have the love they show you returned without complaint.

The last thing I observed that bothered me has to do with competitive relationships.  If you have a competitive relationship with someone and they are being mean, DO NOT BE MEAN BACK. It will just start up a viscous cycle that you may never be able to come out of. It will ruin a relationship that may have otherwise thrived. You called me stupid so you are stupid too. Nope, wrong approach to take. There are many better ways to deal with it. Building mutual respect is the key.

I guess my goal in all of this is to point out that respect is seriously lacking in this day and age. It is one thing I really wanted to teach my children (and they do tend to show me some respect) however, it is very hard to teach this concept concerning others when none of their peers or adult role models have any respect for anything or anyone. I am only one person and although I may fail I will keep trying to teach my kids the concept of respect until my dying day. I hope others catch on to this and spread it around. I think our world would be a much better place. After all, I hate it when someone disrespects me. Don't you?

Until next time...It is possible to show respect and to disagree at the same time.  You just have to learn how and be willing to do it. And just because you are older or prettier or smarter doesn't mean you deserve more respect than others do. <3

Friday, January 11, 2013


I know many people who move to a new place and it becomes home - there is no other place they would rather be. My mother and my in-laws are prime examples of this. My in-laws moved from the DC/Maryland area to Southern Nevada and we moved there from Florida/Oregon (although my parents had lived there before). I'm not entirely sure about the in-laws, but I am pretty sure you couldn't give my mom 10 million dollars to move away.

Southern Nevada
I have lived in Wyoming for almost 9 years now and I still get heart-achingly homesick for the beautiful, fresh Southern Nevada desert. I should be happy with where my family is and the place we will probably end up staying for a long long time (if not the rest of our lives) and on the surface I am. Deep down inside I would give almost anything to move back to the Las Vegas area. It isn't just because a huge part of my family is there and it isn't because as many people have told me 'the desert gets in your soul and you never want to leave it'. I really don't know what it is, but no matter where I go and no matter how much I love the places I go, Nevada is my HOME and always will be.

When someone asks me where home is I always have to stop myself from saying 'Nevada'. After all, home is now technically Casper, Wyoming. Doesn't the saying go "Home is where the heart is"? Well, my heart is split.  Part of it is in Southern Nevada and the other part is with my family in Wyoming. A lot of people tell me I should move back.  Oh my how I would love to, but I just can't.  The reason we left was because the heat and allergies bothered me to the point of sickness. I just can't do that to my family or myself.  They might not have me in many physical ways, but they do have me in many other ways that count heavily. If I were to add more sickness to everything they wouldn't have me at all and I wouldn't have myself either. I would be nothing.

Now this is not to say that I am unhappy, because I really am not.  I have a decent home  great husband,aand kids that I adore. I can't really ask for more.  There will just be a part of me that feels like I am not living at home. But if all else is good, I think I can live with that.

My hometown, Overton, NV
Is there any other place on earth that could make me that happy?  Maybe, you never know what could happen.  If any place could do it, I think Alaska could (it is my happy place after all), but if I never live there I will be just fine because I once knew a place that I called home. A place that I will always love with all my heart. My Home is Nevada, the place I live happily with my family is Wyoming (for the moment, you never know what the future brings.)

Until next deeply and keep that love in your heart. If you do that, no matter what circumstances you face, you can always be happy with who YOU are. And of course, that is what counts the most.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013


Okay people, I am in shock right now! We went out to dinner and shopping - all 7 of us, which rarely ever happens. EVERYONE BEHAVED. I REPEAT EVERYONE BEHAVED. Every last child - how in the hell did that happen? I, I, I'm just about speechless! You see, my kids are well behaved - for other people.  When they are around The Shooter and I, they are pure evil most of the time. E.V.I.L. You know, the kids at the store that make you cringe, that's my brood!

So the outings usually go something like this:
  1. The Freshman doesn't want to leave the house but we make her. An autistic meltdown follows as does pouting, snapping at others and slamming of dishes. 
  2. The Senior takes charge of the kids and gets a bit too mean sometimes because she knows that their misbehavior gives me anxiety. She's just trying to help but sometimes goes overboard.  That girl literally came out of the womb acting like a mom! I remember she used to like to say 'no mama, bad' when I would do something she didn't like ;)
  3. Miss Crazy is, well, crazy. She likes to run around and be loud and has a hard time sitting still at the table and she always gets her brother involved.  He copies everything she does and she loves that idea! Can you say INSTIGATOR?
  4. Mr. Insane is going through a phase where he is testing how much he can get away with and so he changes his mind a lot (I want ramen for lunch, no a sandwich, no ramen, no a sandwich - it's enough to drive you nuts). And he will only get help (cutting food, getting food from a buffet etc) from a certain person of his choosing and no one else will do. He does  this all very loudly and lets you know emphatically when he is unhappy.
  5. Little butt is in the stage where she absolutely refuses to sit in a high chair or a booster which means we are in the process of training her not to get up and stray from the table which is hard to do with Miss Crazy and Mr. Insane egging her on. And you know, it's kind of annoying when she takes turns sitting on everyone's lap. Just ask The Senior, she'll tell ya!
Usually by the end of the meal I am extremely frustrated and I feel like everyone is staring at us. (They may or may not be, but still, it is embarrassing and I just want to crawl into a hole.)

So, what happened to my kids today? I don't really believe in aliens taking over people's bodies, but I think that may have changed tonight! The Freshman complained a bit at first and then participated in dinner without even a whine and when we decided to stop at the store she didn't complain and that usually would have ended up with a screaming fit and her threatening to stay in the car. Not today! She came into the store and even went off by herself to do some 'window shopping'. The senior didn't go overboard. She helped out with getting the little ones food, but left most of the parenting to me and the Shooter! Miss Crazy just sat there the whole time eating.  Lately she has been eating her weight times ten in food. Either she is growing up or she is just too busy eating to act up. Mr. Insane had his moments where he thought about being picky or wanting only a certain person to help him, but recovered quickly and never got very loud considering what he is capable of. And Little Butt sat in her chair playing quietly and eating. Not one time did her little butt (haha) get up and try to wander around. 

And then we went to the store and everyone behaved again. There was no running down the aisles, fits in the middle of the aisles or tantrums of any kind. And for once, I walked out of Pizza Hut and Wal Mart feeling like we were the invisible family that no one even knew was there.  I like that feeling, I really really do :D

Until next time...When you see that kid throwing a fit in the store or restaurant, please don't judge out loud. They might be overwhelmed, tired, getting sick, or just having a really bad day. Yes there is always a chance that the kid is just a plain ol brat, but it isn't your problem or your duty to judge them or their parents vocally. And if you see a parent (or two) struggling with a whole brood of little ones, give them an encouraging smile or a thumbs up because believe me, trying to corral a group like that is not easy, even for an experienced mother. Everyone has off days and everyone has the right to misbehave occasionally.  Be accepting and kind, it will benefit everyone in the end.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013


 Well, I have run out of pictures of Alaska to share so I thought I would just post some pictures to help you get to know me better.  Some of my family and some of the likes that make me who I am :)  Enjoy!
Me and my Little Butt (the baby, my butt IS NOT that little)

The gang! The Senior holding Little Butt, Mr Insane, The Freshman, and Miss Crazy - I love them!!!!

My favorite book of all time. Read before it got popular :)

I love reading all different kinds of books but if I just want to relax and read a fun book Janet Evanovich and Setphanie Plum are where I head first!

I am definitely a child of the 80's. My favorite music is from that decade and my fondest memories are too :)
I don't have  current favorite movie, but this is one that I loved for many years. I think Julia Roberts was my biggest girl crush!

I love love love to read.  I read all kinds - serious, funny, fiction, non fiction, contemporary, classics.
My favorite color - if you hadn't guessed already by the amount of it I like on my Blog backgrounds. :)

My favorite food - Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream and probably the reason my butt is so big (we won't blame it on the hormonal imbalance this time. haha)

My favorite drink - Iced tea with Lemon. I don't do alcohol so this has to be my drug.
My favorite animal.  I love me some Otters :D

My favorite TV show although I haven't watched it in quite awhile because of the kids. I have a huge nerd crush on Matthew Gray Gubler (Spencer Reid)

And of course, my passion, my hobby, my life - writing (and my kids too but hey, I talk about them ALL THE TIME ;))

Until next time...Stay warm, I'm sure we aren't the only ones about to have a cold snap!