Monday, November 12, 2012

STEP AWAY FROM THE BOOBS AND NO ONE GETS HURT


     There are so many things in life that can stress us out: 1.family problems (relatives thinking you are hicks and don’t know how to take care of your kids) 2.health issues (you can’t afford to fix the problem that made you have to quit your job so now your family is in financial hardship) 3.work problems (everyone is going to part time so they don’t have to give health benefits so it is impossible to find a new full time job to better support your family) can throw us for a loop. For me all of the above apply and you might think my life is full of stress because of these, but nope. These problems do cause stress, but not nearly as much as one thing that is seemingly minor, one thing that should flow nice and easy, one thing that is a normal part of a mom’s life (for some). Yep, that’s me, I’m the one FREAKING OUT OVER WEANING MY BABY!!!
All of my kids have been easy to wean.  My first weaned herself at six months.  The second I cut off cold turkey after I almost smothered her with my bountiful boobage when she was two weeks old. My third was a horrible sucker so she just ‘sipped’ off and on for six months.  When I became pregnant with my son, I stopped her cold turkey and really she could have cared less.  My son was addicted with a capital A from day one.  I think he was asking for ‘BB’s’ at 9 months.  I decided to nurse him until he was 2 and as the end drew near I had no idea how I would get him to stop.  I feared this would be the worst time of both of our lives.  On the day before his 2nd birthday I was eating potato chips and some fell into my bra, cutting me.  I asked my wonderful sweet son to stop nursing because mommy 'had an owie' and I gave him my pouty look.  BAM, he was done - no more boobs ever!
Then came my little butt.  She was soooooooo attached from almost day one.  She was a world class nurser even when the girls tried to give out on us after three months of nursing.  Now we are approaching that dreaded 2 year mark.  Like most almost 2 year olds that still nurse, Lily is NOT down to just morning, nap and night time sessions.  She nurses All. The. Damn. Time! I tried telling her that it hurt me and all she did was laugh and play stretchy poppy with my nipples :/ Then recently I was having really bad breast pain problems so I flat out told her no boobies.  She cried for an hour!!! When she started turning a redish purple color I had to give in no matter how much my body needed a break from even more pain.  So now you know why I am stressing so bad.  How the hell am I going to wean this child! She won’t listen to reason (most two year olds don’t - although my boy did) and if I let her cry it out she tries to deprive herself of oxygen and pass out.  I’m going to be nursing this child till she is twenty.  That might make her first date and high school graduation a bit awkward but hey she’s the one who won’t give up the boob right?!?!

As my dad used to say, “it’s the small things that stress us out the most”.

Until next time…<3

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