THE LINE BETWEEN GOOD MOM AND BAD MOM

First off I have a huge favor to ask of all of you. If you have a facebook could you go to the link I post below and vote for my Rizzy girl. She was the special live saving dog I told you all about in the blog PLEASE FORGIVE ME! It would mean a lot to have an abstract portrait of her to help keep her memory alive. Thanks :)

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151344455704086&set=a.10151344453419086.455557.163898744085&type=3&theater

Now for the major story. I know we all have days where we feel like great parents and days where we feel like awful parents.  This is one of the situations where the line between these two get blurred.

I let my son be corrupted and I can't say I am proud of what I did, but truthfully, I can't regret it at this point. You see, Mr. Insane has a crazy history. He was the sweetest most helpful child you had ever met. Then I stopped breast feeding him and the allergies hit hard. We took him to the doctor and they put him on Zyrtec. When the allergies would get really bad a couple of times of year they added Singulair too.

The freshman never could take Zyrtec. It caused her to have really bad behavioral problems on top of her Autistic meltdowns.  It wasn't fun. We started to notice some of the same symptoms in Mr. Insane so we pulled him off of it and they put him on Singulair full time. By now, he still had some temper issues but we figured it was because he had learned bad habits while on the Zyrtec.  Something just seemed off though so I had him tested for Autism...twice. He didn't have it.  They chalked it up to attention seeking because he was having to try to swim his way out of a sea of estrogen in our house.  We went about our way for the next 2.5 years  or so and the behavioral problems came back.

We would take the kids off of the medicine off and on for various reasons. And then one day not too long ago the kids had been about three weeks without it and when we put them back on, Mr Insane started to literally act insane.  It was like he was driven by a machine. constant moving, hitting, swinging and kicking (thank goodness not toward people most of the time.) I was about to take him to the hospital one night when he got really bad and it all suddenly came together in my mind. Every time we put him back on the singular he got worse. We pulled him off of the medication and he has gradually gotten better although he still has some attention seeking tantrum problems and is a hitter to family but not friends.

Okay so now on to how I was a bad mom (although not noticing my son was a wreck because of medicine for 2.5 years is pretty bad). When I had him tested for Autism the doctor recommended that I let him socialize more.  We don't really have any friends locally and he was only used to being around his bossy sisters.  Well, an older couple across the street suddenly had their grand kids living with them. This was an answer to my prayers.  There were two little boys for Mr. Insane and Miss Crazy to play with.  (We tried pre school but they ran out of room.)

These little boys were awful!  They were show offs, liars, undisciplined, sometimes mean, bratty, I could go on but I'm not sure what other words to use.  Thanks to them my kids started saying words like sex, and sexy. And they started cussing a lot! They tried to backtalk and not do what we said but we put a quick stop to that!

I wanted to stop them from seeing these two so badly, but the socialization was doing Mr. Insane a world of good. He started to come out of his shell.  He would actually speak to people in public now. He seemed to be a brighter light in this world suddenly. I had to weigh the pro's and con's of letting the relationship continue. The good these two little devils were doing far outweighed the bad in my mind. They are gone now, moved to Texas or California...thank goodness. And there are two sweet little boys who come around to play now.

I will have to re train them not to curse.  It's getting better but we still have some work to do.  I am up for the challenge though!  Would I have let the relationship continue if I thought they would turn my kids into serial killers or something?  Absolutely not.  I seriously was contemplating ending the relationship by the time the oldest one reached 9 though because he was learning thing that no 8 year old should know. I'm so glad I no longer have to worry about this! I had to chose between the lesser of two evils to help my son and I believe I made the right decision.

Until next time...Sometimes we have to make decisions we are uncomfortable with but as long as we believe it will help the one we love, and stay on top of the situation, we can feel good about what we've done.