FROM THE HEART

Sorry about slacking again, but we had a major family problem that had to be taken care of.  Although it would be great fodder for a mommy blog, I just don't feel safe talking about it. I may at some point, but then again I may never feel safe again. So I will just go on with a blog post about making sure to have a mind of your own. Hope you enjoy it!

So, I think it is very important to have a mind of your own in life.  If you don't it will ALWAYS end in disaster. And by ALWAYS, I mean ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS. If you let other people do your thinking for you, then you really are living their life and not yours right?  That is how I see it in any case.

I know someone (Well a couple of someones but for the sake of this blog, I will use only one example) who has never before thought for 'him/her self', ever and it kills me everytime I think about it.  It has made a person with a leader type personality a follower. It has ruined a young persons family. It has devastated everyone who has ever TRULY cared about this person.  And boy did people pick up on it and milk it for all it was worth.  If you sense that weakness in someone it is easy to take advantage of it.

One thing I have noticed is that people who have this type of personality like attention and they will lie to get it. It is these lies that perpetuate people taking advantage of them. And the sad thing is that they don't even realize they are lying. They take little bits of the truth and turn them into big lies in their own head.  One person I met always had to help their family out around the house so when they wanted attention they told someone that they were being forced to do everything around the house and it led people to feel sorry for them. And this in turn led to these so called 'friends' manipulating them into thinking they were super special/didn't have to do anything in life. This person is two steps away from being destitute and alone forever now.  It really is quite sad.  Because eventually the people they lied to, find out the truth and purge them from their lives.  It is a horrifically vicious cycle and every time I think about it I come close to tears.  To have seen someone in my life go through it is heartbreaking and does nothing to help me have faith in humanity. But then, maybe I am being too harsh on the people who perpetuate this problem because after all they are being lied to and might not know any better (or SOME OF THEM KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE DOING).

So, here is how it goes. These people lie to a 'friend'. The friend feels sorry for them or thinks they need to help this person. Next step?  The new friend tells them how to go about fixing their life and the messed up person believes EVERY DAMN WORD their friend says and they run with it. Even if the advice is bad.  They start to ignore the people who know them and try to get them to face the truth in their situation.  It can get really messy. All of the people they once trusted become the enemy and these new influencers run with their newfound power and it just really messes up many lives.

A mental disorder that goes hand in hand with it is narcissistic personality disorder (LINK). I am far from an expert so I will let you read up on it on your own (Just click the link). Unfortunately in this day and age, more and more people seem to be suffering from it and it is a recipe for disaster without help.

Until Next Time...It is really hard to get through to someone who can't think for themselves so if you notice it young, please get them help. It can be overcome, but it will take years of therapy.  I know a mommy out there who wishes she'd had this advice many years ago. <3