THEY LIVE ON, IN YOUR HEART

Tomorrow would have been my daddy's 74th birthday.  Some years, I don't think about it until it's over but this year I think it popped up in my mind because of The Senior's graduation.  My daddy actually got to meet her, I remember he held her when she was a baby - her head in his hand and her butt in the crook of his arm, as comfortable and safe as she could be, cradled in his large hands. I really wish he could be there to see it, or at least to receive pictures of it when it is over.  I wish he could know what is going on, but then again maybe he does know and my sadness comes from not being able to be the one to tell him.

I'm sure I will feel the same way when The Freshman graduates too. He was able to see her a few times before he passed. I remember once, after he was already sick and the strength in his arm was really bad.  He was afraid to hold her, but she was old enough to sit on his knee and balance herself. I remember her sitting there giggling as her grandfather's big shaky hand held onto her as best it could. This was a child who wasn't super smiley or giggly and she was very uncomfortable with people she didn't know well, but she was happy as could be sitting on her grandfather's knee.

And when my other kids graduate I'm sure I will think of him too because he never got to meet them and this is one life event where I will wish he could come back long enough to see their big day. Do you ever think about your lost loved ones on special days? I think for me it is the really special ones that bring up the memories.  Things like graduations, engagements and weddings.

I don't have a whole lot of beliefs about spirits and Heaven and Hell, but the one thing I do believe for sure is that my father knows his grandkids.  No matter how many times he saw them in real life, he knows them well.  He knows the struggles, triumphs and pretty much everything else in their lives. I don't know that he would be proud of them, I know that he IS proud of them.  The Senior had an award ceremony the other day the celebrated her being in the top 10 percent of graduating seniors in our district.  Her grandfather knew this and he was so proud of her.  I know that on Grad night, he will be there somewhere, the proudest grandfather ever as his Granddaughter graduates high school in the top ten of her district and as a member of the national honor society and the Japanese honor society, as he will be there and proud of all of his grandkids when they graduate.  And get engaged, and married and have kids of their own.

So on my daddy's birthday I try to feel happy and celebratory because it reminds me that he might be physically gone, but I truly believe he is still here with us, loving us and being a huge part of our lives. I save the sadness at his loss for the anniversary of the day we lost him physically.

Until Next Time...Only you can keep someone alive...in your heart. They might not be here physically, but they can still be a part of you, a part of your life if you open your heart and let them live in a tiny part
of it.  There's plenty of room, the heart is unlimited in every way. <3